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A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

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A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

Postby Christine » Thu Aug 03, 2017 1:07 pm

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She surrenders to the weariness of holding so much space. These days floating in the air between the ticks and tocks, not here and yet not there …

This is my tale, part of the time track of my own awareness and the collapsing absolution of the installations within me.

This thread was initiated as a story of my involvement with the Mandato with a master sorcerer and his handful of followers. That chapter ended and now it is time for a new tale, one that that surely will include the unexpected with an all pervading sense of wonder.

I decided to write today because it is most likely I will be absent from the forum for several months … perhaps a desire to give voice and a brief synopsis of the journey to this moment.

Let me tell of my little girl the one born to this world, what she remembers most is fear and a desire to fit in, to be accepted, to not have to deal with the burden she carried. Even now after a lifetime of experiences there is still a traumatized infant that curls herself into a fetal ball, she sucks her thumb turning inside herself with a clam shell cover wishing the world would go away. She surfaced recently in one of those semi-awake states while I simply sat with her as she communed with me, she wanted me know that she was still there.

What has arisen in memories again is this child, this me.

She remembers sitting on her father’s lap, there are other adults in the room, it was the late 1950s, she was maybe five or six years old. Hypnosis was a big fad then, glimpses of television shows in black and white … the buzz of the adult voices titillating against her skin, she wanted to grow up so fast because she wanted to flee of her own accord.

My father, a good few too many drinks in decided to hypnotize me to entertain his friends so on his lap I sat, obediently desiring access into the adult world. I’ve never been able to be hypnotized, even during past light regression session with experts using hypnosis couldn’t put me under so I pretended that day as I have pretended with the experts. My father stuck needles in my hand, by force of will I didn’t flinch, such a good girl.

I can’t draw a straight line so another memory pops to the surface, my maternal grandfather’s den (yes that is what they called home offices in those days) He sits behind a large desk, a wall of books the backdrop. In front of him a strange chart as he swings his pendulum, he too was trying to hypnotize me. Retired Rear Admiral in the Navy, petty tyrant and reformed drunkard. I tried to let go to please him but couldn’t drop into that hypnotic space. Where was my mother? What strange goings on were these? I am still not sure why I sat there in front of him that day.

My purpose in telling this is to paint a background of the family I grew up with. Both my younger brothers were plagued by entities almost every night, for M it was a demonic dark man who haunted him to terror most nights and D was invaded by a woman who had long appendages, rather grey in color, with long sharp nails that probed him every night. A haunting of a home all covered in the syrupy saccharine realities of television shows of that era … those images wrap in and around the memories too.

She, the little one already knew she didn’t fit in.

Fast forward to where I sit with my fingers on the keyboard and what prompts me to write. It is called subjective reality, how we interpret the fields of energy infinitely pouring through us. Like the keys that stroke this page painting with words a view, a perspective that is uniquely mine, one I claim full responsibility for.

---

For longer than I can remember the underlying theme of my search has been to retrieve my memory, not just this life but all lives, the spaces between lives and the long awaited return to my origin. Not only retrieve these memories but to not forget, to indelibly recall so as to not lose my self again. Learning now that the not forgetting is the absolving of the soul, it isn’t the images, places, people or things that matter, it is what was learned, what knowledge was gained that would be churned to wisdom in the cauldron of life. A return to wholeness to home.

Let’s talk about hypnosis and other non-hypnotic processes utilized for recovering memories, lets speak about Reiki and implant removals and all manner of “therapies”, lets speak about the therapists and our own responsibility for the choosing to put our being in their care.

She Hops, skips and jumps to Ecuador and beyond.


What I relate is from my experiences with many people, my fortune this life has been finding exactly what I need at the time I need it the most. Lady X was one who helped me in numerous ways. The many sessions I had with this woman who is considered by many to be one of the best auditors in the field. She is crazy as a loon and as far out of sync with societal norms as anyone I’ve ever met … I don’t find her to be integrated but she is ethical and I love her dearly. She helped me immensely and this is what I learned.

She could hold space for hours at a time, one session lasted five hours! She would sit hunched over her e-meter taking copious notes while she ran processes that were developed by LRH. She is precious to me because she did the forbidden, she audited a non-clear in "upper level" processes. She did this for one reason alone, my consciousness went there during sessions as I started picking up things that only OT8 and above should have access to. (cough, cough) Prior to meeting the man who introduced us I had zero interest nor knew much about scientology at all.

So what was going on? Certainly for me I was recalling a great deal of myself, in that time I found I could easily transit time, space and track the most subtle energy lines. In doing the work with her I retrieved pieces of myself that had been fractured off, all soul fractures are trauma induced so another way to phrase it is to say I was healing, mending myself.

I finally withdrew my consent because no matter how clear she was she had an installed agenda, she saw my gifts and tried to coerce them into the LRH fold, in doing so her clarity left and she injected her subjective reality for no matter what I revealed in those sessions the data was processed by her training to fit with what she believed as truth. This is the problem, for any sessions going forward would be subject to her consciousness. You see the auditor/ healer/ therapist is an influence on the subject.

I know this because she started training me with certain techniques, ones I actively used while running sessions on a once dear friend, a survivor of MKUltra programming. This is what I observed; while running the sessions I would literally see what my friend was experiencing before she could give voice to it, in other words I was in her field. My awareness is such that I did not actively do anything however I can not say for certain if my own viewing influenced her in some way. I didn’t make judgement of what I heard, I didn’t counsel, I took notes and was left pondering on a much deeper level. What happens with those who are trained in predetermined techniques or philosophy is the great probability that they do influence, often unknowingly, what occurs in sessions because they have a criteria in which they file what is revealed to them.

Another issue with hypnotic or non-hypnotic sessions is that there exist installed memories meant to divert one from ever finding the truth of their being, there are cross over links to other’s memories, there are oversouls or we could say the grand Archetypes of this creation that influence what we experience. It takes great resolution and resolve to pare away these factors, most stop somewhere along the way, content and complacent in “their truth”, especially if they make a living at it. The comfort factor sets in; what I know is much more comfortable than what I don’t know.

Stepping backward in time to reveal I was also a reiki master and is that field ever influenced by dark entities. How these techniques were given to people who haven’t even begun to diminish their egos is beyond me to comprehend. It was a short lived wild ride in which I consciously withdrew my consent to be used as a channel. Mastery is so lacking in this world, the keys are always self Mastery and without reaching a state of lucidity we further tangle the field.

I was asked how I knew of the presence of demonic entities and the honest answer is I experienced them in waking states of consciousness. We are plagued by demons and entities to such an extent that it isn’t any wonder to me that most will close their eyes.

Stepping forward in time.

I am sitting in a small Mexican restaurant known for delicious tacos. It is typical of these types of places that cater to the locals, plastic tables with simple often cacophonous decor that assaults the eyes accompanied by the sound of banging pots and the sizzle of hot oil from the open kitchen at the back. The waitress arrives to take our order, I am sitting with a friend and my daughter. Without warning with no intent on our part the whole scene switches to another reality, I see this happen as does my friend. Every single person from the patrons to the staff has the face of a demonic entity, they are still doing the normal things, talking is now heard as a satanic hiss … they aren’t aware of what we are seeing. Needless to say we left without eating.

This has happened on three occasions in my life, twice in a restaurant and once walking down a street in a small beach town.

This brings me to state that even the most aware can be fooled by the attachments of entities, some are so deeply enmeshed in the fabric of our souls that we think they are a part of us. This is indeed a pickle isn’t it? It isn’t with judgement that I speak these words, I impart them in my attempt to bring light into the darkness, to encourage anyone who reads these words to always remember to stay awake in the dream, to engage your observer for the unexamined life is fraught with tricks and traps.
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Re: A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

Postby Chicodoodoo » Thu Aug 03, 2017 5:27 pm

Christine wrote:...most stop somewhere along the way, content and complacent in “their truth”, especially if they make a living at it.

Money ruins everything, as I often say.

Although money probably started out as a convenient means of cooperative exchange, those interested in power and control over others found a useful way to subvert it to their purposes.

The use of hypnosis for purposes of power and control is also noted. In effect, sociopathy ruins everything.
It's not that we can't handle the truth. It's that they can't handle us if we know the truth.

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Re: A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

Postby Christine » Thu Aug 03, 2017 7:50 pm

Chicodoodoo wrote:
Christine wrote:...most stop somewhere along the way, content and complacent in “their truth”, especially if they make a living at it.

Money ruins everything, as I often say.

Although money probably started out as a convenient means of cooperative exchange, those interested in power and control over others found a useful way to subvert it to their purposes.

The use of hypnosis for purposes of power and control is also noted. In effect, sociopathy ruins everything.


Yup, money is the tightening screw, the system we can't seem to get free of.
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Re: A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

Postby Fred Steeves » Thu Aug 03, 2017 9:36 pm

Christine wrote:
The waitress arrives to take our order, I am sitting with a friend and my daughter. Without warning with no intent on our part the whole scene switches to another reality, I see this happen as does my friend. Every single person from the patrons to the staff has the face of a demonic entity, they are still doing the normal things, talking is now heard as a satanic hiss … they aren’t aware of what we are seeing. Needless to say we left without eating.

This has happened on three occasions in my life, twice in a restaurant and once walking down a street in a small beach town.


Interesting. I've had the same thing happen, only once, but it was pretty much on the opposite end of the spectrum.

I was having a bummer of a morning sitting in the county courthouse, watching the end results of a now former friend's downward spiral into drug addiction. Even sat beyond his case to watch other proceedings involving broken families, and then let it all sink in with a 16 oz. Bud tall boy on the ride back home.

Had to stop by one of those big discount box stores (Sam's Club) on the way to pick something up real quick, and shortly after walking in with my mind occupied on all things sad was when things suddenly changed. At first I started noting how mundane and robotic everyone looked there, including me, each just focused on their own little worlds, and their own little daily crosses to bear.

Well you know I didn't need to be focusing on that kind of shit right then, but that's when I saw a face "shining', for lack of a better description. And then another, and another, and another, until every shopper there that morning had the light of an angel shining through their eyes and out from their faces. Everywhere I looked it was average everyday people, totally oblivious to their incredible beauty and glory that for whatever reason on this particular day, one shopper was allowed to briefly behold.

To this day I really don't know what that meant, or why it happened, only that it did and that it was indeed for real. I wonder where the difference lies, between these two very different, yet very similar experiences?
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Re: A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

Postby Sandy Clark » Fri Aug 04, 2017 2:52 am

I often wonder what it is that creates paths so different from each other's experiences. To me feelings are the language of the Universe and although our walks may be down different streets and avenues the feelings are the same in the long run. Pain is pain, Joy is joy, Sorrow is sorrow, Shame is shame, Validated is validated, etc., no matter the travels.

Until I sobered up at the age of 32 I probably was one of those demonic beings using others and manipulating those in my circle to bend to my will. I know the dark intimately, and my inner pain was immense, unbeknownst to me at the time as my motto was, "I will get you long before you get me"!! Needless to say my childhood played a big role in this attitude by my early teen years. I had no religious or satanic belief systems as non of this was part of my upbringing either...just plain ole' survival of the fittest, mentally emotionally and physically with no real conception of spiritual concepts. I would think if there was such a thing as GOD I wouldn't have a chance in Hell of ever being blessed or loved anyway.

What I am trying to get too is the issue of dark entities and energies of which I have had no real frightening experiences and I wonder why not with the roads I have travelled literally. Could it be because I was one? Sobering up was the easy part, taking a gruelling look at me was the hard part in the beginning but with disgusted ownership, and eventuallly humble acceptance of all my many downfalls, traits and skills, from many years of stumbling through self analysis and awareness; I now do so with ease and self forgiveness. I think it is a skill building exercise that comes with competency after years of practice. I do know that we cannot have the dark without the light and vice versa, the balance of which literally bring the colors and matter of life into our reality. So without balance sometimes the dark is just shadows or the light is just blinding literally, either; being without the vibrancy of color to define the matter at hand.

The person I did anything for while having a career in the helping field was myself.....those poor souls in my care who taught me so much were often thanked by me for their assistance in my personal growth.... something always nudged me the wrong way about hypnosis and NLP and although I took some training in them both, I decided these methdologies where not a good fit for me and I never accessed them, there after. Because I had been such a 'CON' I didn't need anymore tricks in my bag to temp me down the wrong path of ego laden therapy winning techniques etc...so...if I couldn't help someone I said so or if I got stuck I said I was stuck and often the individual I was interacting with would end up coming out of a dark place to help the relationship move forward.

Many a wondrous detour we have taken in helping each other when soul meets soul to come to a place of acceptance. I once put my back totally up against the bars of a dangerous inmate who was in segregation / the hole, once again. A conversation came up about tatoos and they did not believe I had any, so to show the tatoo on the top of my left shoulder I leaned back against the bars and let them pull back my shirt for a good look..........that inmate hesitated at first and I'm sure true to their reputation of violence and hostage taking their mind was flooded with darkness.....but the full power I gave them brought their soul to surface and the chance I took in showing total acceptance became a win-win situation in the long run. I don't think you need alot of counselling techniques to help someone, you just need to be authentic in caring and real and accept their real, what ever that is in the way of good, bad and ugly. Without acceptance there can be no movement other than stuck. I am talking about the spirit here and not violent behavior>>>just for clarity. :roll:

Funny thing, I am not bowled over by the dark or the light either. Although brillant color often leaves a sense of AWE. (IE>> the pic of the Tiger above is surreal in my sense of wanting to reach out and touch the softness and beauty of this wondrous Beast).When blessings abound and miracles happen I am elated briefly, I affirm and accept with gratitude and tears of joy sometimes and then carry on. Others often comment why I don't have a bodily expressive high and the only way I can explain it is, that it is confirmation of Love that I acknowledge and accept. It is much the same with the dark. The process might be a bit longer in moving through the dark but the key for progression is acknowledgment and acceptance IMO.

I can relate to not fitting in for sure :-) but have never wanted to either..........just can not stomach pretending very well, so plug along being the best I can be each day...some better than others but grateful for them all when all the dust has settled ;) .

Love your honesty and writings everyone and please do not stop as they do give me a great sense of appreciation for You, Your and My Humanity.

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Re: A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

Postby Christine » Fri Aug 04, 2017 1:21 pm

A word I have used often is implosion. It is interesting to hear the experiences we share, in regards to Fred's post I too had a similar experience where every person walking down the busy street was full of light, one would say quite the opposite of seeing the demonic realm though I have been certain in my own way that when we strip away the "packaged presentation" of what we see it is all energy being converted through the movement of magnetism and electricity (one and the same thing) that forms the aether (the unified field) into creations.

So back to implosion, on the esoteric level we have innumerable myths, symbols, creation stories, occult societies, basically you name it there are those who know naturally and those who were initiated in secret lodges then use this knowledge to control and manipulate reality. When I use the word implosion it is my inner gnosis of imploding (making one) both the dark and the light within me, as this occurs I am closer to center point, zero point, source (names don't matter). When these moments are internalized I feel I can actually act with free will. Don't want to make it sound too simple for free will is only exercised in Truth when it is fully flowing with the universal course, outside the construct.
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Re: A Tiger's New Tale | Light in the Dark

Postby Spiritwind » Sun Sep 03, 2017 8:52 pm

I have wanted to come back to this thread for some time. The reason is Christine's mention of Reiki. I have extensive Reiki training myself. And I do know of people who have had bad experiences in receiving their attunements and in healing sessions. I think this is an important topic for many on their healing journey. I hope I don't go off track too much here, from the intent of this thread, but wanted to bring attention to this here.

Now, maybe my experience is different from Christine's for a few reasons. The two teachers I have had over the years were both skilled at many shamanic types of healing methods, in addition to Reiki. They both had, and still have, immense integrity as individuals, and have participated in a great deal of inner work and inner clearing of their past and unhealed traumas. I, too, have participated in shamanic healings. I'm fairly certain that the most recent shamanic healing work I participated in just a couple years ago was the most powerful yet, for a variety of reasons I won't go into here. Suffice it to say, I have lightened the load, and continue to work on clearing my field on a regular basis. This is important.

It is also important to realize that it is all experience, and all can teach us things we need to know. In other words, healing I received 20 years ago may not be what I would need today. At any point along the way, opening your field when asking for outside help in a matter of healing what ails you is a delicate matter and one that should be cautiously undertaken. What is right for one, may not be for another, one healer may be good for some, and not for others, and so on. Our needs change over time too. What we can see and understand changes over time, for many of us anyway.

So, being too fearful, and using that as an excuse to not take that healing step doesn't work, but just trusting anyone doesn't work either. Every single thing I have done to push those boundaries of knowing and understanding have been of value. And I have also found that there is much going on in the unseen world that we are blissfully unaware of, especially when it comes to spiritual matters and healing. Things I know now have indeed made me much more cautious, but if I hadn't taken those risks I wouldn't be where I am today. Kind of a paradox.

But getting back to Reiki, I truly feel we are all imbued with healing abilities that we don't know we have. A good healer, no matter what the discipline, understands that they are doing no healing of their own, merely facilitating. My husband's mother was from Russia and even did some type of hands on healing, and it wasn't called anything that we know of. I have had wonderful experiences especially with animals and healing, and I have used Reiki in these situations, in addition to other methods I use. I don't think, myself anyway, that Reiki in and of itself is bad. But it can be misused, and one should be asking where it really originated and do their own homework (for sure, the original story I was told at the time I took my first class has changed significantly), and should definitely check out any prospective healer before going to them.

I spent a considerable amount of money on taking a workshop for the Rising Star healing modality that originated with Derek O'Neil in Ireland. Then he hooked up with the Rockefeller foundation and started charged a yearly fee for practitioners. Even before that I started to get a bad feeling about it and now won't use it at all, ever. It really comes down to ethics on this one.

I also had a friend who went for a crystal bowl healing of some sort and literally felt like she wasn't fully back in her body, and couldn't get fully back in for a very long time afterwards. It was literally quite debilitating for her. Maybe it was good for many others before her, but it wasn't good for her. I personally don't offer to do any kind of healing when my own energy is at a low, if my emotional state isn't right and balanced, and so on. And I would, most of all, encourage everyone to find their own inner healer, as that is where all true healing comes from.

Yes, there have been a handful of times throughout my life where I really did benefit from the extra helping hand I received. In fact, on a few occasions the results were nothing short of stunning. But for the most part, I try to get to the source of things and try to figure it out for myself. In this world where we get socialized from birth to give our power away it's a good idea to find ways across the board to take that power back into our own hands, and be the masters of our own lives.
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