I'm going to make a stab in the dark here (pardon the pun). Caveat - I haven't read this entire thread properly, but had some initial thoughts.
I don't know where this is going to go, but let's make a start shall we?
Let us just say I've been pretty much a professional virgin the last 10 years or so. One word? Menopause. That's 'Men on Pause'. If you are a man reading this, and are of an older vintage with a same age partner? You may get the gist.
Long story short, I felt like I was dead from the waist down. My head was another thing, but the two didn't meet.
Then a long lost Lover came back into my life (we had always remained friends and had no animosity between each other). Well...it turns out I have come through the menopause completely now. We connected again and it all came back! The hormones. Everything. I was astounded. I thought that part of my life was well and truly over. Not so! A bit different in some ways, so much better in other ways! I won't be explicit, lol...
I may expand on this story a bit if I feel brave. But the moral of the story is, never give up on your sexuality, male or female. Most of it is in your head anyway. Sex is between the ears. Always.
Tip - look up Tantric Sex.
Cruella de Vil