Farm Life

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Spiritwind
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Re: Farm Life

Post by Spiritwind »

It’s been a strange summer so far, in that our weather has been very mild for the last several weeks even though other parts of the country have been anything but mild. In just 2 months it’s kind of shocking to see how much growth there is. The raspberries and broccoli are loving it, with lots of berries ripening and broccoli about to form heads. I should have zucchini and tomatoes soon as well, and the acorn, buttercup, and blue Hubbard squash have finally kicked into high gear. And I know I already mentioned this, but goats must have something that they can activate to stretch their tongues out really far when I am not looking. Cause they nabbed one of the corn stalks yesterday, and I’m really not sure how they did it since it was at least two feet from the fence.

No really big news here, though. Just a plugging along. I had my 2 grandsons over this last weekend and somehow my new phone got the screen shattered on it. I took it out with me in the morning as I was expecting a call from their dad who wanted to be able to talk to them, and set it on the back of the tailgate of the pickup. I don’t carry it in my pocket for various reasons. Anyway, I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I do know that the younger of the two boys liked the little red stretchy cord I had put on the fence gate so Ballerina couldn’t let herself and Coco out of their pen. So they were running around all wild and woolly. And I’m guessing the phone rang and one of the boys must have grabbed it off the tailgate all excited and perhaps dropped it on the ground. So when it rang again I went to look for it. That’s when I got my big surprise. There it was laying in the dirt. I admit, for a few minutes there I had to really struggle to keep it together and not jump up and down in my state of dismay. It didn’t work right anyway, so I was planning to take it back in. Thing is, now the screen is shattered I will probably have to use my insurance which still requires a fairly hefty deductible, which I will have to come up with. Damn.

But ya know, life goes on. My husband also found out that he chipped a bone in his left wrist while at work and finally went in and got x-rays when it didn’t seem to be healing up. So now he has to do physical therapy for about six weeks and has a new fangled type cast on that immobilizes his thumb. He’s finding out how hard it is to do anything without the use of your thumb. We did manage to get about half way done on the front extension to the barn that will cover the grain barrels so I don’t have to stoop over anymore. But it’s definitely slowing us down on our summer projects.

We’ve pared down what we need to get done, though, so we’re still not doing too bad. Other than painting the barns and replacing some of the OSB in a few places, we mainly have to finish the well house and put in a water line to the barn. I’ll try to get my husband to go through and explain what he did with the pressure tank he installed. It’s made a big difference already in using the water. Before the pump was either on or off, and we had no control over the amount of pressure. Now the pump shuts off automatically when the pressure tank is full, so it makes it way more easy to water everything. And we have to finish insulating and putting up the sheetrock so that we can keep the well house from getting too cold this winter. We’re just going to hook up our propane cook stove in there, and leave the oven on it’s lowest setting on those really cold nights. It’s cheaper than any other option at the moment.

And, in another couple weeks I’ll bring home our two new kittens. That ought to be interesting. I have to teach the dogs with each new addition that they are not here for them to chase and eat. It’s interesting that they do such a good job protecting the goats, yet they do go out and hunt. And I know for a fact that they sometimes are successful. But they both know that they will get in trouble if they try to chase our cats and so little Zoey takes full advantage of that fact and likes to flaunt her status by rubbing up against them, then occasionally swatting their face as she saunters slowly away. When we do finally get chickens I will probably have a few moments there, too. Yes, sometimes it seems like we are on slow out here, but I like to think everything happens in its own good time. No emergency.

I was able to go to the last herbal guild meeting where we went on a walk about to identify various weeds that are actually herbs and have medicinal qualities. It was very inspiring and I am quite motivated to start making all my own tinctures. The only problem I am having is if I took every one of them that I could benefit from, I would have to have a production line. I’m thinking I’m going to have to make a few combinations of various herbs so I don’t have to have fifty bottles sitting around on the counter. I am truly in awe of nature, though, and the way it produces everything we really need to stay healthy, if you know how to take advantage of it. I learned that chickweed is more than just an edible weed, and the one lady who was taking it for something, can’t remember what, said she noticed that her hair was getting back some color. Amazing!

I am lagging behind on mulching everything up, and so that is high on my list for this week. I admit, there are some jobs I have trouble motivating myself to do. We did find the little boom box we have so I’m hoping maybe some music while I work will help. And, I do have one really exciting thing to look forward to here in just a few weeks. One of my nieces that I am fairly close to has actually pulled together an amazing feat. Her mom, who sort of decided to have a falling out with me many years ago, is going to come with her on her upcoming vacation. She has already reserved a couple camp sites at a camp ground about a half hour away from us, and my other sister is coming too! It will be the first time in probably over 20 years that we will all be together. We’re even going to try and take our little 25 foot sailboat out for the first time. If it does come together it will be quite the momentous occasion. I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen in this lifetime.

Guess I’m about out of words for now. No ranting today. In fact, I think I’ll just be turning everything off and trying to spend as much time outdoors as I can today. Let’s see what I can get done. Till next time : )
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Spiritwind
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Re: Farm Life

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I’m sitting here drinking my coffee after finally getting the cat off my lap. I’ve been going up the road most everyday to play with the kittens so they know how to be around people, and having the most delightful time. The two I’m going to bring home are definitely the more social of the four, but the other two are coming around. It’s amazing the traction I got out of one piece of bailing twine. So incredibly amusing, except when they use my leg like it’s a climbing post. My legs feel like pin cushions from the other day. Normally I wouldn’t allow that kind of behavior and discourage it, but it’s went a long ways towards getting them to trust and play, so it’s been worth it.

Being the Fourth of July yesterday we got to hear all the folks out here shoot off their guns for a few hours. If they ever really do try to take away everyone’s right to own a protection device in their own home it’s not going to be pretty up around these parts, that all I can say.

Pretty mundane stuff to write about this time. In fact, I need to write quick here so I can get outside before if gets too hot. It seems summer has finally arrived. We had very mild temperatures all the way through June, but it’s heating up now, and though I did mulch the corn (which by the way is more than knee high) I still have more to do on the other areas. Some of the goats are just now getting their sleek new summer coats and the dogs haven’t shed their winter coats yet either. Highly unusual.

As usual, my biggest problem, really, is all about motivating myself to work alone. It’s funny, because I generally don’t mind being alone, but certain types of work are far more enjoyable when shared I must admit. And I really like working with my husband, but alas he feels he must keep the boat afloat by working away from home. Which he is having a hard time doing right now because of that chipped bone in his wrist. He kept on trying to do stuff, both at work and at home, to the point where his hand is not healing as it should be. Telling this man not to use his thumb is like telling a fish not to swim.

But at least it appears that our home made CBD oil is working almost as good as the free bottle of Hempworx brand I won a while back (as I suspected I have to take a bit more since it’s not as concentrated). We did make our first batch and I have been taking it every day. The biggest thing for me is keeping limber, since with a bit of arthritis coming on, and general muscle aches and pains that don’t want to go away it was becoming kind of an issue. That alone also affects my motivational level, so it’s kind of imperative to come up with a solution. I’m guessing a lot of aging people sell their rural homes and move to the city just to be closer to health care. Since I pretty much take responsibility for my own, I want to stay fit as long as I can. Plus I’d like to never leave here.

And I keep day dreaming of ways I can get these goats contributing more than just entertainment and milk. I’ve got to get out there and talk to a few fitness places to see if I can drum up interest in the goat yoga idea. Plus, people keep talking to me about taking a group of them out to eat brush as a side business too. That’s one thing I can say about the CBD oil in addition to its other health related benefits, is it seems to encourage a more at ease state of being, which is good for also keeping motivational levels up. Sometimes I just feel all that is wrong with the ways things work here in our currently structured society and so called civilization (which doesn’t seem too civilized to me sometimes) a little too much. It’s imperative I take steps everyday to keep putting effort, focus, and energy towards that which I can create in my own little bubble of reality.

Who knows, if everyone, or even a large enough portion of us did this, it might just shift things enough that we change our course a bit. I’d like to think anything is possible.

Getting back to goats being entertaining, I drove out to this place that advertised free large wooden spools and brought two of them home. I pieced together a step for the goats to climb up on one of them, but so far only Ballerina, the one that can open the gate with her mouth, has actually watched me do it and followed suit. She’s a smart goat, that girl is. I admit, I did a lousy makeshift job cobbling it together and it is a bit wobbly. But I’ll take the time soon to make a better one. I do envision a complete entertainment center for the goats though, where we can sit and watch them and be entertained too.

We already can kind of watch out our window as we have a panoramic view of the horse’s area with the forested mountains in the background. The goats all like to go in there and run around. Zoey, the cat, goes in there and pretends to stalk them, and the horse sometimes like to assert her dominance and run them out. It’s kind of like watching fish swim around in a fish tank, only a lot bigger, and not in water.

These are all the things that keep me sane, though, and make life worthwhile. You have to create an environment of happiness in this world, otherwise it generally won’t just happen. And it’s made me feel so much closer to what is real here. All is hollowed ground, I feel in my bones when I think of the creative force that animates all life. I envision all the crisscrossing streams of water that run below my feet, and I breath in the air as I look around me at the sun sparkling through the gently moving trees. It’s so much easier out here to feel the sacredness of all life, to be in awe of it. What a strange world I live in where there is such contrast, between out there, and in here. Don’t know what to make of it still, but figure I might as well try to enjoy at least some of it the best I can.

And family ties are always interesting to throw in the mix while considering the meaning of life in general. I won’t go off on a tangent, yet (LOL), but find it interesting to ponder the many ways the fabric gets woven together on that one. With family perhaps coming in a little over a week I have been thinking about those connections, wondering how it will go. I chose to leave the door open for love to walk through a long time ago, but you can’t force anyone, no matter how much you want it to be so, to walk through it unless they want to and are ready. But true love is patient. In fact, sometimes it seems you may have to be willing to wait forever.
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Spiritwind
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Re: Farm Life

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It’s going to be a fairly hot day today, so gotta get going early. I need to water everything really well, because I swear, the sun feels hotter than it ever used to and not only can I not work out in it for long any more, the plants don’t seem to like it much either. I’ve got quite a few things in partial shade that used to like full sun, and they are doing much better than their counterparts that are in full sun all day. And it’s very clear to me by just a visual glance that the goat poop/hay mixture I’ve put around plants is making a huge difference. I applied a considerable amount to the soil where I planted some squash in with the little corn patch and the leaves are much bigger and greener than those I planted on the hillside where the soil is a lot dryer and I had less opportunity to improve it.

That’s been the biggest thing out here, is, besides having to dig up huge root systems belonging to the prevailing brush that grows profusely, the soil has no substance or vitality to it. I am continuously in awe of the many medicinal plants that grow here and seem to love it. How they do so well is a mystery to me.

I am excited, though, for a number of reasons. Besides having family coming for a camping trip starting this weekend, I am finally going to make the mullein/garlic oil as well as a valerian root tincture. These are two I will use the most, I think, so it’s a good place to start. I haven’t really made much in the line of herbal products since almost 20 years ago when I used glycerine to make a burdock tincture for my son’s skin problem, which it did by the way seem to clear up. They do have us all programmed pretty good to just go out and buy everything, rather than producing it ourselves. It kind of reminds me of a magicians trick, the way we just don’t even think about this process that has us all working our lives away. And it’s all designed to keep the extremely wealthy in their lofty positions away from the toils of the rest of us, so they can continue practicing their religion, their belief that they somehow deserve to be in charge. I don’t ever forget what the real problem is on this planet. So many suffer at the hands of, really, just a few old white men sitting around, probably drinking their expensive booze, and smoking their expensive cigars, while they complain about how there are too many useless eaters on the planet.

But even they aren’t useless, for we have a fast growing population of unhealthy people who make the medical and pharmaceutical industries an immense amount of money. I shake my head (vigorously) everyday, how most don’t even seem to question this concept of making extreme profit, in some cases, off of the misery of others. But, I gotta eat my oatmeal with raisins and goats milk, and get the heck out there.

One thing I forgot to mention, last I wrote though, is how surprisingly easy it is, I found out, to make colloidal silver. Some wonderful friends (one who recently joined the forum : ), came over and not only showed us how to make it, but gave us the equipment to make our own! So, while the world is rushing madly along in its maniacal plot to make us almost obsolete, it’s nice to know some real people, who haven’t forgotten the concept of community and helping one another in a way that doesn’t take notes to see if they are getting the best end of the deal, but in a way that flows with the ease of knowing that as we each help each other, we really are helping ourselves. How did so many forget this concept?

I’m also kind of excited that any day now I should begin to see tassels on the corn. Well, and I can see I’m going to start taking zucchini with me wherever I go to help give away some of the surplus that’s already starting to happen. The goats do like it, some of them anyway, and I’m going to keep on the lookout for some new recipes to make it less repetitive. I get in a cooking rut sometimes, that can be kind of hard to break out of. Especially since I pretty much cut out a lot of foods in recent years. I find I occasionally lose my will to cook and prepare food at all, if it’s always the same old thing. Which is kind of interesting to think about, our varying relationships with food. I mean, really, when did we allow ourselves to be so tricked by taste that we forget that food is really a necessity, and that taste should be secondary to foods ability to provide good health. That’s a whole subject, in and of itself, though, one best saved for another time.

And, one last thing, is a quick mention of how fast the summers seem to fly by. If you have to do a regular work week, it’s basically 12 weekends, and we’re half way (almost) there! I also think time has speeded up, at least in how it’s experienced, but there I go again (a whole other subject). Must tear myself away now...
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Re: Farm Life

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I’m sitting here with an avalanche of thoughts right now, trying to figure out how to even begin writing about this last week. Something so monumental happened I am still trying to process it all. First thing I want to acknowledge is the part that underlying spiritual forces play in our lives. In some strange way, I can’t help but feel divine forces of the good kind had a hand in this coming together at long last of all the amazing and powerful women I am proud to say are part of my family. I am humbled to my core.

My niece was also the driving force behind this “coming together”, and I will be forever grateful. But it was not only her, but also her mother who announced “it was time” to reconcile, for without her coming to that place within herself, it still would not have happened. Her decision impacted not only the two of us, but our entire family. Something quite alchemical happened when all the strong independent women came together in this way, all seven of us, of which the sum was more than the parts, and strengthened us in ways that can’t easily be put into words. Strangely, all of us have a similar thread running through us, an empathy, a knowing, that felt so much stronger when we were all assembled. And, as often happens when people have been separated for some long time, some dark family stuff was revealed. Stuff that needed to be known by all parties. I’m sure the dark side is not pleased with this new understanding and clarity we all have, nor the fact that we all have each other’s backs now. I am immensely pleased!

There is a ton more I want to say about this, but may have to come back when I have more time. I will say that love is a powerful force, so much stronger than evil. And believe me, evil comes in every crevice it can find, and is one sneaky ass bastard! I’m beginning to wonder if all who belong to that good ole boys club, the Free Masons, aren’t perverts and pedophiles. Yup, my eyes are a bit more open than they were just a few days ago. That old, “I’d like to keep it in the family” bullshit needs to keep being uncovered. Those family secrets keep us stuck, and do not help us at all by keeping a lid on. Knowing truth is in itself very empowering, and is what can truly set us free, those of us with good heart. And those not of good heart, well, they have to deceive to get us to play, don’t they. They prey on our innocence and naivety, and they aren’t out there somewhere. No, they are generally so much closer to home, right under our noses sometimes, yet we often can not see. What a deal. I’ll be back.
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Re: Farm Life

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I have about six different articles floating around in my head I want to write, but between integrating two new kittens into “farm life” (important business, you know!) and the hot temperatures where my main goal is to keep the garden watered up (the corn is 6-7 feet tall!) and not overheating myself, I haven’t been able to concentrate enough to get it out. I have three bathing suits I wear all summer long (obviously not all at the same time, I’m weird, but not that weird!), and even though I can spray myself down with water the relief doesn’t last long. I’m not complaining, but I am explaining, to myself at least, why I haven’t posted anything lately. And I gotta go get hay today, again! I only got a few bales last time because we were going to go get some for a really good price right out of the field. Alas, we spent all our money with the recent family reunion (as in, budget went out the window, hahaha) and I realized I really can’t go heft 75 lb bales around in any weather, but especially mid 90’s weather.

But, besides all the other stuff I don’t have time to write about, I did want to get down my thoughts about creating the life you want, and also make mention of the wonderful and timely article Christine posted about psychic vampirism.

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In a strange way they kind of go together. Because no matter how much work you put into a relationship with a psychic vampire, you will at some point be robbed of your enjoyment of that which you so painstakingly created. Who you create with does matter. I doubt my sister who I recently reconnected with will ever read here, plus I do not mention her by name, but she spent probably ten years in a relationship putting all her creative energy into what amounts to a black hole. Now that she is back in her own home she is realizing how much time she lost, and how much work she has to do on/in her own home. That includes her physical home, but also her body temple.

It’s never a total waste though, as time is just another construct, and the one we are in is not the only one. The learning though, now, that is priceless. I, too, have had to learn about people who have come in to my life, and who have left me feeling as if I had almost none of my life force left to operate with. Hard lessons to learn, and it seems to be a common experience lately with people I know. Of course, it all depends on what you want. For the riches I speak of have naught to do with accumulating money. They have to do with the kind that take hard work, vigilance, patience, and perseverance, to see the dream through. And, of course that dream can change shape and form as we go along, but the goal is to leave the mark of beauty and love behind, in as many places as you can.

And it’s true what she says about those who only take and do not give, or give for a while, then subtly start only taking, can be very empathic, and only dimly aware that they are responsible for not having/living the life they really want. Because, so far, every one of them that I have found to be this way in my life is not a happy person. You can be happy with a lot of money and riches, but you can have all of that and be miserable. We’ve all been taught how to put on a fake face, so appearances, unless you can read energy, can be very deceiving. The thing is, the predator that lives in vulnerable people’s minds, stalks people who have a lot to give. It actively tries to find ways to get to you, and gets more and more clever as it continues its path of taking your juice. It reminds me of a walnut tree I planted. I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t thriving. Turns out gophers had dug an underground tunnel to its roots and have been siphoning off its life force energy. The cause was not immediately obvious on the surface. Sometimes you have to look deeper.

I know it seems like I am rambling, but everyday I wake up and I am grateful for what I have. I am living my dream in many respects, and part of getting here has been learning to pay attention to how and in what ways I use my juice, my creative energy and intentions. It something I’ve learned to do, much like brushing your teeth every day. I ask, how do I feel in my body? My biggest complaints these days are how to generate an income flow so I can create more of the visions of what I hold in my heart/mind, and how best to keep my body in good health. And my biggest issues have to deal with feelings of loneliness at times, and motivating myself to do tasks that aren’t my favorite. Other than that, my days are generally filled with things I enjoy.

My family seemed rather mystified, when they came to visit, that much of what I had talked about wanting to do for years had come to pass. I demonstrated for a very long time a deep seated instability in life, and many had assumed my life would be kind of a tragic story, rather than one of triumph. That is why I keep holding the vision for all of us, for I do feel the biggest problem is that all that has been modeled for us by our so called authority figures, from parents, teachers, and religious figures, to our governing bodies who are supposed to represent the will of the people (what a farce that it!) has shown us how to willingly give our power away. We honestly pretty much don’t know how to create, especially without a lot of money to buy everything.

Learning to create without having to resort to the soul deadening money magic game is not for the faint of heart, that is for sure. But believing in yourself is a key ingredient. And, of course, stepping outside those clearly marked lines of accepted ways to live, takes risk. Yes, it’s scary to leave the comfort of our well worn shoes and life ways, but when they are worn out, unless you want your toes to stick out, you’ll have to get some new ones. As I look back, even in the last three years, my progress has been stunning, really. So I must be on to something. I think I’ll keep going this way, even though it is unfamiliar territory. Not entirely though, for something seems vaguely familiar about it, as if I’ve done something along theses lines before.

And, lastly, it’s really wonderful to see I’m not traveling alone. We are, literally, creating new energy and life pathways. Though the world may be racing to hell in a hand basket, it’s not the only the only channel we can tune in to. Fine tuning your life dial to a frequency of love IS how you create the magical life. And now I gotta get busy.
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Re: Farm Life

Post by Spiritwind »

I have a friend that lives in Montana who is a very talented artist. I took many classes from her over the years. I took both the teachers level of Reiki, and a number of Karuna Reiki classes from her, and a wonderful class on working with nature that included making flower essences and energetically clearing land. She is one of my favorite people and has always been high in integrity, demonstrating a consistent quiet strength. Finally recovering from some rather intense personal challenges she has come out the other side and is now putting her creative talent to use once again. She doesn’t know I’m doing this but feel anything we can do to help each other be more successful in our various endeavors the better. I plan to buy a number of these for some special people, and I rarely engage in this type of expenditure. But I know, much like the beautiful orgonite pieces so lovingly created on Starfield Creations (http://starfieldcreations.net/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;), they are more than just beautiful. So I want to share her Facebook page so others can have an opportunity to see what she is doing: https://www.facebook.com/MelodyLaaksoArt/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Spiritwind
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Re: Farm Life

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I don’t have time to write much this morning because I have to spend extra time watering everything. It may hit triple digits today and tomorrow. We plan on spending the afternoon at the lake. Just a few thoughts, though, as I watch the kittens play. I was thinking about how being truly joyous, exuberant, and expressing a genuine love for life is INDEED a radical act in our world today. It’s like the salmon, swimming upstream. I get so clearly that there is a being behind all this doom, gloom, and darkness that’s actually always been here but coming more and more into our consciousness as of late (and I am referring specifically to the slowly dawning realization that the epidemic of pedophilia starts from the top down). It is a being that may not actually be here physically, but it wants to come into our reality to act out it’s darkest fantasies. It is up to us to counter that by expanding our fields of love and joy to the fullest.

So create create create, with joy love and abandon. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain. Refuse to submit, refuse to bow down. Hold your head high, and smile out the love you hold in your heart, as if it is the only thing that matters, cause it is. It doesn’t mean you negate all the horror of what is being revealed, but how we use our energy is the solution. It is the only true weapon we have. I used to be afraid to sing, because my family always made fun of me. I will sing as loud and strong as I can. I will sing in front of people. I will sing if it’s out of tune (which it often is, LOL). I will sing because I am not afraid anymore. I will sing because it is one way to express joy and love for life. It gets me in touch with a place deep within myself that has never forgotten we are beings originally created in a field of/and with love. It’s who we are, or can be if we chose. It is our divine right.

Who knows, maybe all was created with song in the first place, as in sung into being. Flowers, kittens, beautiful music. Yes, chose love, chose joy. And now I will leave the podium and get back to work. No, seriously, I remember being a preachers wife in another life and just can’t help myself sometimes. But we can inspire and encourage one another to keep shining our light, no matter how dark things get. All the knowledge in the world won’t help you if you haven’t done the work to heal your heart. Make it so full of what you want that there is no room for what you don’t want. It all radiates out from there. Simple, but oh so radical. It’s like in my garden. What I have planted there is beginning to squeeze out all the weeds. They have no room to grow! I don’t hate the weeds. In fact, many of them are medicine. But I don’t want them taking over the garden. Love you all.....
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Re: Farm Life

Post by Spiritwind »

As I sit here watching the kittens play I have become convinced they truly are terrorists. I have been taking them outside everyday for the last few days to get them used to outdoor life. I take them in the cat crate so I can get past the dogs without incident, and let them out down at the big barn right next to a couple of goat pens. That way they can get used to the land and goats, the goats get used to them, and the dogs can see that they are supposed to be here. They can also see the dogs from a safe distance and watch Zoey, our other cat, interact with them. I’m taking it slowly, but do want to be able to leave them outside more.

Since our indoor space is kind of small it would be best for them to use up some of that excess energy terrorizing the great outdoors. Seriously, besides trying to lay on my spider plant, right over the top of it, and tear off all the babies that were hanging from it (squirt bottle works great for this) they managed to go for my 20 some odd year old walking stick that had a coyote tail on it, as well as another small piece of fur given me many years ago I had sewed up around the top. Even Zoey never did that! Not only did they go for it once, but managed to get to it even after I covered it up and tried to hide it! (Who knows, maybe that’s a sign I need to get rid of that fur anyway!)

I met with my daughter yesterday at this Chinese restaurant so I could spend a little time with her and her husband and friends. I started talking about the kittens being terrorists and the waitress yanked her head around from across the room to give me a hard stare. I guess all she heard was the word “terrorist”. They had to reassure her that I was talking about kittens. Strange world we live in these days. Gotta watch what you say, I guess.

It has been blasting hot, and yesterday was particularly strange, because I went out early to see the commonly seen artificial cloud cover forming from all the chemtrails and big X’s in the sky. It later mixed with the dust and dirt being blown up by the wind and all the smoke from the fires burning. Four years in a row now we’ve had fire seasons like my husband and I have not seen in our whole life. Big sigh there. California again, Alaska, Greece, and Sweden now. And of course, if you tell people that much of this burning just so happens to coincide with maps of plans made years ago to clear certain areas and make them off limits they will think you’ve got a screw loose. So there was this weird kind of glow through the fake clouds mixed with dust, dirt, smoke, and most likely other crap that is harmful to life. I have no doubt that plays a part in the many, too numerous to mention, people I know with sinus and severe allergy problems. My nose seems to be irritated most of the time.

And the thing about the fires is that all this stirs up fear, but mostly relegated to the unconscious domain where it hides out kind of unnoticed for the most part. I try to see what lurks below the surface of my psyche (or sometimes even deep within), so that it doesn’t gain any ground. Fear used to rule my life in so many ways, and I refuse to allow it anymore, as much as is possible. If I can’t immediately do anything about something, it does no good to let fear grow into something that can literally draw energy and life force from you, make you frozen in place and not even know why sometimes. I been dancing with my understanding of how it works in my life for some long time now. I wouldn’t say it’s my friend, but at least it’s not overtaking the garden of peace I try to maintain in my being. Like a weed, it has its place, outside the garden. I recognize it now, and know how it feels in my body. I don’t negate it, I just acknowledge it as I usher it out the door. Not a bad thing to know how to do, especially in the times we currently live in. Fear is their weapon of choice.

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I am quite delighted to have a mini jungle on the property. The corn grew so big and split into multiple stocks. I don’t even know how I’m going to harvest it when it’s ready. It’s very tightly packed, and then the squash I grew with it has spread throughout also. I’ll figure it out when the time comes, which may not be too far off. I also love that the big goat poop/hay piles ended up being better than I could have expected in terms of feeding the plants, keeping weeds down, and keeping it moist throughout the day even on the hottest days. Now I just gotta figure out how to market it! You know, poop is always a good seller, LOL! At least it’s all organic.

On a more serious note, I really do think it’s quite amazing how you can completely build healthy soil. I’ve been watering the bare ground, little tiny patches of grass that’s trying to grow here and there, and the surrounding weeds. I’m even going to start spreading the composted mixture all over the place, because after it gets ground into the powdered rocks and clay dust that is prevalent here I noticed that the water doesn’t just run off of it anymore. For some reason the idea of building an ecosystem that can support life better and is beautiful to boot gets me excited.

I have noticed that this years bugs have taken a different trajectory. The May flies didn’t come out in May, but were a couple months late. Last year I had to put the mask on the horse in May, and this year I didn’t have to do it until July. And I haven’t seen yellow jackets this bad since the summer of 2013. I’ve tried a number things to thin down the numbers but I don’t see any less of them swarming around, even though the traps I set are getting full. I have to feed the dogs after dark or they can’t even eat their food. If any food gets dropped on the ground the yellow jackets really go crazy. I saw them devour a June bug that was dead recently and couldn’t believe how fast it disappeared. They are seriously carnivorous. The big black carpenter ants are in full swing too. I’m not into chemicals and haven’t figured out how to discourage them from coming in. I do tell them “if you’re in here I will step on you”. I figure they have the whole out doors, and we are only taking up a small space here in the bigger scheme of things. And I don’t care what they do if they aren’t inside here trying to get a quick meal. I don’t leave anything laying around, as much as possible, but you can’t get every little crumb. At least I haven’t seen any mice, or rats lately for that matter. That’s a good thing!

It’s less than four weeks to Danae’s due date and she looks very funny when she tries to run. I’m only getting about 3/4 of a quart of milk a day from Coco, but that turns out to be about what we can use, so I don’t really mind. Even though it’s a long ways off, I’m already nervous about breeding 6-7 does this fall. You would think I would be used to it by now, but the last couple years I had to deal with a number of situations that I had blissfully not had to deal with before. That kind of sobered me up a bit, and I take it all a bit more seriously now.

I have a tendency to have a bit of fear arise that somehow I won’t be up to the task, or that something I forgot or didn’t make time to do will bite me in the butt, which it actually can. I wouldn’t actually call it fear, I guess, more like a hyper sense of responsibility. So, I will make a check list to make sure I can stay on top of it all. It helps me feel more organized, and stay on task. Yes, I admit, sometimes I am my own worst enemy. The good thing I realize about that, is it is within my power to rise to the occasion, and everything I do to build up muscles of integrity, self discipline, and acceptance of responsibility, are worth it in the long run. That’s the only thing that has put me in the drivers seat of my own life.

It really helps to realize there is no one else to blame. Stepping up to the plate of life is, I found, the only way I have gained any sense of personal freedom. I finally am trying to teach myself not to always try to get out of things I don’t like, don’t want to do or feel. It’s a common problem, and part of the reason we collectively are where we are. When my family came to visit, as I briefly referred to, some information came forward that, for me, explained a situation I had been puzzling about for some time. Without going into it, I will say that my two sisters and I basically didn’t receive an inheritance that we had kind of been led to believe we would receive upon my grandfathers death and sale of the family home. There is a lot of bitterness on my two sisters part due to some treacherous moves made by other family members. Both my sisters were much closer to the family than I ever was, due to my having been adopted out. I’m actually starting to see that as a good thing.

Anyway, I had decided a very long time ago that I would expect nothing from family. I have went forward with creating my own life without even much thought of what I had missed out on, financially speaking. Sure, it would have been nice to have already built our cabin and moved forward with other things that are going much more slowly because of not having a bunch of money to throw at everything. Yes, I have had pangs of hurt a few years back when I first heard the news, but not for long. Nothing in this life is guaranteed. And I would rather be who I am without financial wealth, than to be any one of them who thought how it went down was okay. In light of what I learned about why, I’m very glad I just moved on and basically left all expectations behind. So much better off. I am hoping my family members who are still feeling the hurt of this can decide to let it go. Because that is what it will take to not hurt anymore. And they are so not worth it.

The way I figure it, no matter who we are, where we came from, what we have done in the past, or what’s been done to us, it’s who we are now that matters. I used to think I didn’t have any choice in a lot of things. I can’t change the past, but I have also discovered we have far more choice than we know. “They” just don’t want you to know that. And I’m a lot clearer on just what it is I’m choosing from. I love my SiStars, both those I am related to by blood, as well as those I am related to in spirit. And I am rich indeed.
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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Re: Farm Life

Post by Christine »

Your farm life is a secret garden ... walking side by side with you.

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The journey, the challenge is to step into the
projection room and stop being lost in the script.
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Re: Farm Life

Post by Spiritwind »

I’m just going to start writing this morning and see what happens. I really need to get out there and start the long day of watering as it’s going to be a scorcher. But my mind is on overdrive and writing helps me to sort it all out. I wrote a piece last week that I’m afraid to post. It is exactly how I feel, but my husband actually worries for me that I will draw too much attention to myself. Isn’t that something. We now DO have to worry about what we say and write (actually have all along). And yet people still be thinking they are free.

The smoke is so thick in the air today, reminiscent of last year, that I have a constant nasal irritation. And I have never seen yellow jackets as bad as I have this year. The cat killed a bird (which I wish she wouldn’t do!) and by evening it was literally almost gone, except for the bones and beak, completely eaten by yellow jackets, and they are even swarming around the horse’s face as she eats her hay. She has a mask on, so they can’t really do anything, but it’s still got to be very annoying and can’t figure out why they do it.

The kittens are doing great, and can now go in and out as they please and walk right by the dogs without a freak out. So much for being outside kitties. I guess it’s not surprising that I really couldn’t discriminate and say, well, you kitties can be indoor/outdoor, but you other two have to stay outside. They have already become like family, and as such we worry about them like they are our kids. Just can’t seem to help ourselves. My husband is just now starting to be able to use his hand/wrist again a little bit, though he still has to be very careful. So even though it’s too hot to do much work outside, he took the time to make a proper ramp for the goats to play king of the hill with the big wooden spool in their pen. I think I was more pleased about it than they were. Once the babies arrive the end of this month, though, they will show them how to do it! The only other thing I forgot to mention before was the surprise we got the last time we cleaned our composting toilet out. We went to put the peat moss in and found the big container we keep it in was full of carpenter ants. They were making a nest in there I guess. That was kind of freaky and unexpected. It’s a buggy world we live in.

Oh yeah, and I just have to mention how ecstatic I am about how well the small patch of corn and buttercup squash are doing. There are approximately 60 corn plants out there and most of them put out side stalks and have more than one ear of corn growing on them. We might be doing the great corn give away here soon. And we’ll get at least half a dozen or so of quite large squash out of there. Not a bad yield for a space no larger that 10x14. I love eating out of the garden and being able to give food away. And I love it that I really do have a use for all that poop/hay from the goats that accumulates. Gardening really is a form of “keep your shit together and keep a good attitude” therapy.

It’s hard to keep subjects separate as it all runs together in my mind. Everything is connected to everything else. You see, I’ve been reading about the Tavistock Institute, and I also listened to a bit more of Max Igan’s “Why Was I Taught to Hate Myself” recording. It’s an interesting thing that none of our two laptops or iPad will play YouTube videos anymore when we are at home using the satellite internet service we pay a pretty hefty amount for. But, when I leave home and go to the city they work just fine. Hmmmmm

So the past, future, and present are all swimming in the currents of my mind lately. And, I’ve decided to make this the beginning of another post in a different thread, because I’m about to veer way off the topic of farm life.

By the way, love you Christine!
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
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