On the Journey...

[Blue Rising]

Too many times, too damned many times, thoughts get into me and I think they are mine. I have learned that it is possible to look at them, and sometimes I can get behind them, or pass them, or get some distance from them. Thoughts create their own emotions, it seems. And thoughts create reality. So important for me to focus on this. I have gotten so much better at this, yet I still stumble.

Sometimes I know deeper Truth. I step into some deeper level of Reality, where I am flooded with compassion.

And other times, it is all I can do to pull the sticky thoughts and feelings off me, and if they have attached then it is an effort of pulling them out of me as well.

I sometimes ponder the Truth of what I experience that cannot be put into words. I *know* that is every bit as real, and maybe even moreso, than these thoughts. And reaching for positive thoughts is actually no better than separating from negative thoughts. I saw a huge wave of "empowerment", a Self Help movement, in my lifetime, and I saw how there was a thrust toward positivity. And I read plenty of those books in my time, trying to reach for a hand to hold as I dug myself out of some mire or other, and finding that I could be my own hand.

So I go back and forth with this. What I have come up with thus far is that while I excavate the inner landscape, it may not be better to attach to positive thoughts than negative thoughts. None of them are real, as inviting as positive thinking has become. Really, I shouldn't believe any of them.

Yet...when I sit in a funk, I tell myself it is better to allow positive thoughts and emotions than allow the negative to bury me. And the battle is on.

For today, I will be patient. And I will be kind. To myself, as I excavate. As I reach farther, as I release more. And for all who are reading, who are not only allowing me to Stand in my Truth but encouraging it, I leave Much Love.

[Blue Rising]

So I guess I am going to be a Grandma again. I am waiting and watching, knowing that if this is meant to be, it will. If not, I will have a puddle of a daughter. So waiting until the first trimester to complete itself.

I have (by and large) been a positive person typically. If anyone I know creates a child, I jump to the congratulations and give my support in some way. I typically express my deep belief that a child is *always* a blessing.

Yeah. Well.

First of all. This isn't about me. So there's that. And secondly, I can't make the decisions. So there's that. I have made a conscious effort, and it is indeed an effort, to be joyful and grateful for my daughter and myself and our family. Looking at the positives in this situation and choosing joy is what I can do. Because when it isn't my life, and the decisions to be made (and the decisions that have been made) are not mine, well... my choice is...what type of energy am I going to inject into this situation? Would it be helpful to all involved to point out all the concerns, all the difficulties, how the road has taken a turn into treacherous and difficult terrain?

A new type of mother am I. I give the wisdom I possess. And then I let it go. This is her journey. These are her decisions. And I will not allow anything to dampen the unconditional love I have.

This child is already a catalyst, this has been bizarre to watch. A mirror of sorts she is. This situation has brought out aspects, both very positive and very negative, from the deeper parts of family members and friends.

She has chosen to come here in a very difficult time, to a very difficult situation, and to parents who have very difficult challenges as people....who have already had very difficult lives....

I will love her and hold her and bless her. If this is meant to be, and I will know this pretty soon I reckon, I will be in awe that this soul has made these choices before even arriving. Has been a mirror before even arriving.

To this child, to this very brave soul, as I do to all children, I offer Much Love. It sho ain't gonna be easy.

[Naga_Fireball]

Huge hug for the decent grandparents of EE.
This song is for all of you:

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers –Refugee Lyrics We got somethin' we both know it We don't talk too much about it Yeah it ain't no real big secret all the same Somehow we get around it Listen it don't really matter to me baby You believe what you want to believe You see you don't have to live like a refugee

Somewhere, somehow somebody Must have kicked you around some Tell me why you want to lay there And revel in your abandon Listen it don't make no difference to me baby Everybody's had to fight to be free You see you don't have to live like a refugee Now baby you don't have to live like a refugee

Baby we ain't the first I'm sure a lot of other lover's been burned Right now this seems real to you But it's one of those things You gotta feel to be true

Somewhere, somehow somebody Must have kicked you around some Who knows, maybe you were kidnapped Tied up, taken away and held for ransom It don't really matter to me Everybody's had to fight to be free You see you don't have to live like a refugee I said you don't have to live like a refugee

[Blue Rising]

While coming up for air, it occurs to me. The only way to find yourself is to lose yourself. I bet that is a quote some wise famous person said. It just hit me.

Leaving a bit of support here for those who are navigating the murky depths.

Much Love.

[Blue Rising]

Hello, my lovely friends. I have a lot on my mind lately. I was thinking about sharing some. If you are one that shares this way, you may understand how it helps in processing.

I start my new job soon. In a couple of weeks actually. Working with middle school children in a public school. Ironic, since I dislike the system so much. It seems to be about the Angel who stands at/in/around/through/above/below/within the school *with* the children....rather than about the education. I will follow the nudge to do this, and get back into teaching. And I watch for negative thoughts and open the window in my mind for them to float out, lest they stay and germinate. I say Thank You every day for this.

The man I am dating is quite unique. The synchronicities that made me sit up and take notice...and the ones that keep me with him... more constant and powerful than any others I have experienced. So I am also going with that nudge rather than kicking and screaming that I'm not sure about this. He is a fellow Cancer. I've never dated a Cancer before. It's quite fun. Lol I say Thank You every day for this.

All three of my daughters are in jobs that I would have hand picked for them. Universe is awesome that way. K is a lab tech in an allergy clinic. She would be a great nurse, for now this is perfect. Got her back to work after her baby turned 2. Got her back into an independent position, one where she could take care of herself and children should the opportunity arise and she take it. A Goddess is hidden in there. I say Thank You every day for this.

M works with two year olds. She is so good at it that even I am amazed. Since having her own baby, she has had a change in not only her focus but her soul shifted. I can't explain it. Saved her life though. A Goddess has been awakened in her. I say Thank You every day for this.

Em is healing. She is an apprentice herbalist, I think a Second Year. She is going back to work today, just on a part time basis for a week or so. Then, back she goes. We hope. A Goddess lives openly in her. I say Thank You every day for this.

I have told my girls that the way to win at the game of life is to find a way to make a living and support yourself doing something that you are passionate about. And today, they are all three winning. All we have is now, so I sit in the gratitude of this moment.

---

I went over to PA today. Played kick the can by myself as I strolled through the abandoned village. Memories flooded back, vivid as if I were watching a movie on a big screen. I am grateful for that experience. I learned about energy there. I saw what happened when people came together with something in common...a common goal perhaps. I learned about a great many things. I learned about change, about the pendulum, and about the passage of time. About right and wrong, or the lack thereof. About how the alt community has the same authority or power structure as it stands against. I learned about people. I learned that there will be those who speak as authorities on just about everything, and really what they are doing is talking about their experiences. You can't actually teach anyone anything. You can't learn from anyone else, either. It is not foolish to sit quietly in a group and have a child's curiosity, to have a burning desire to hear everything and soak it in like a sponge, to follow those who appear to be successful in the ways you want to be successful. That is neither foolish, nor is it a waste of time. Not if that is the only way of learning available, not if there is no other way. But at some point... another way does present itself. In the very still, quiet, glow of Spirit inside, a music can be heard. A whispering. A yearning...a calling. What I learned is that once Spirit can be heard inside, well... then... Spirit replaced all others. That's the wise course anyway.

I stand without fear. (I tell myself-lol.) Gazing into the mirror and loving the Goddess I know I am. No conceit, just... knowing I Am. I Am holding to my Anchor today. There was a member at PA, went by Anchor, and one time when things got very hectic and a transition was upon me, I thought I would not be able to handle it. He gave me an Anchor. Energetically. Well, I have used that Anchor on many occasions, and still do from time to time. I went back and thanked him for it a while after he gave it to me, and he said that he had forgotten all about it. He never actually gave me anything. That was My Anchor all along.

I miss him lol. I do miss many of the friends I had. Thing is, I wouldn't trade you guys, and my Tribe in the physical, to go back to that. I really wouldn't. I'm as grateful that some fell away as I am that some entered my life. Blessings, all.

Here's to sharing the space of I Am. Here's to shaking off everything except this one moment. And being grateful for everything it offers.

Much Love,

[Christine]

Truth!

[Blue Rising]

You know, the vaccine issue is actually a little bigger than we think. It is just one danged string in the knot of the ball that is the western medical establishment.

I have two daughters that have children. The first grandchild was born before I knew that vaccines were dangerous, and my daughter didn't either. So he was immunized, and injected with god knows what.

But the two younger ones, now 2 years and 6 months...they have not been vaccinated. That was a choice each new mother made, and I am proud of my daughters for making an informed choice.

Neither child has a pediatrician. In fact neither child has a primary care doctor of any kind. That is not a problem most of the time. We are learning new child- and baby-safe remedies daily. Even the baby eats formula made with an elderberry and nettles tea instead of water. These two are quite healthy, much more healthy than their peers. But it becomes a problem if one of them has a fever, or something like... an ear infection. A fever for each of these two children necessitates a doctor's note to return to care. That is where we hit a brick wall, and where I start getting pissed, because every doctor we have called denies them care. Why? Because they are not immunized.

Man, this really gets to me. We three, both daughters and I, have called every doctor we can find online, in old phone books (lol-they do exist)...we called our family docs who are excellent and open to homeopathic meds and asked if they could give us referrals.... The closest one I can find is about 4-6 hours from here. That is just not feasible. What kind of bullshit is this?

Then, as if a miracle, a new pediatrician moved into town, well the next town over. And since she doesn't have a practice built up she accepts new patients who are not immunized. But, she ended up being such a condescending bitch that my daughter really, really hates to go to her. My other daughter still has no doc for her little one. Both of them have pretty big medical bills from taking the little ones to an emergency room when no doctors would see them. Talk about WTF?!?!

I just shake my head. We are blessed, in this little fundamentalist Christian small town, to have doctors who send patients to my friend's herb store for remedies. And who want to know what we know when it comes to pain relief or ... inflammation ... or ... just about anything. G & I both got whammed pretty hard out of the blue yesterday, got pretty sick pretty fast. I won't be doing anything today that I had planned, that's for sure. It's the upper respiratory area. Anyway, the doc wanted him to take antibiotics, and he replied that his girlfriend will probably not hear of it. (Lmao) That I would want him to take Oil of Oregano. Well, he told me this and we both had a good laugh. But you know what the doc said? He said, "Oh, yes, definitely! And use peppermint oil!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Like.......really? There is a doctor of medicine, in town, recommending peppermint oil? Well, I'll be! But the system will just not shake loose its hold on children. It is maddening.

Maybe ... maybe things are slowly changing. Maybe soon there will be docs who are not afraid to see children who have not been injected with their shit. That's possible, right? I mean, I never would have thought it possible for family type doctors to pop up accepting alternative healing methods...so....

I gotta keep it positive. Trying. But that can be a challenge...

[Christine]

Hello beautiful ... most people don't know I was a midwife and lay homeopath. Homeopathy works wonders with children. And as if on cue a holistic doctor friend just sent this link out: http://thegrownetwork.com/12-homeopathic-remedies-that-should-be-in-every-survival-kit/

Some day I might find time to write all of the immediate cures I experienced with myself and others. Hot sweaty sudden fever: Belladonna 6C every fifteen minutes, three doses and then space it out every hour, when they start to respond every 4 hours and once healing is established you can stop or back up once a day for three days.

Love you.

[LostNFound]

Just a 5 cent piece, I have been taking MMS for a number years. I only am doing this now a few times a year. I remember hearing about this around 2012 and did the research and found that I could use it. I am a type 1 diabetic so can be susceptible to all sorts of shit. However I stopped taking those damn vaccines years ago and have never had the flue or any other crap that is actually in the vaccines. I just had a visit to the primary care provider at the VA and he wanted to give that crap to me and I told him no, He asked why and I told him I prefer not to have mercury injected into my system. The guy actually admitted that mercury is in the vaccines but told me that the amount was minuscule. Hey, why is there any of that shit in a vaccine in the first place. HA THE AMOUNT IS VERY MINUSCULE.

So three years ago I went to the VA and picked up some upper respiratory thing and within 20 minutes of leaving I was coughing and my chest was hurting. When I got home I mixed up some of the MMS and drank it. That night every opening in my body spewed out whatever it was in my system. Must say it was not a pretty sight but the next day I could breathe and the cough was going away. I did one more treatment and withing 3 days it was as if nothing had happened to me. I was pretty much without any symptoms. Can't say that this stuff if for everybody but I use it more topically that internally except those two times a year where I detox. Short story of my remedy. I Think maybe researching the use for small children would be a very smart thing to do. They do have the mixtures in a 1 to 1 ratio and they even have made it so it tastes and smells better.

Blue Rising, I am so sorry that this lousy medical system does what it does these days. I know so many other folks that absolutely refuse to have their children immunized. You know that word can be twisted right over to mean genocide when we know that all this crap they spray on us and stick us with and feed us and put in our water is designed to do just that.

Well just a nickle and pray for the children.
Steven

[Blue Rising]

Thank you, sweetie. I Emailed my friend, and she is going to order Belladonna so we will have it on hand. I think I will start accumulating some of those other remedies as well. Love the timing here, as usual, yes ... as if on cue...

Midwife? I bet you have stories to tell... lol ...

Love you, too

Hello beautiful ... most people don't know I was a midwife and lay homeopath. Homeopathy works wonders with children. And as if on cue a holistic doctor friend just sent this link out: http://thegrownetwork.com/12-homeopathic-remedies-that-should-be-in-every-survival-kit/

Some day I might find time to write all of the immediate cures I experienced with myself and others. Hot sweaty sudden fever: Belladonna 6C every fifteen minutes, three doses and then space it out every hour, when they start to respond every 4 hours and once healing is established you can stop or back up once a day for three days.

Love you.