This was written today by a friend on FB, I had to share it here since it speaks volumes of what many are encountering right now. I feel it too, in the marrow of my bones, the ache, the stretch, the freedom ...
"The old me" never cared about stories or roles. I felt like ME, special, loved, confident, whole. And then life beat me down, those that once believed in me treated me differently. I felt different. Layers and layers of vibratory time and abuse covered my truth obscuring it from even my own vision. Density, gravity, polarity, contrast, unconsciousness, identification, distraction, avoidance, programs, manipulations, expectations, grudges, judgements, poor feelings, lack, amnesia, ego traps, beliefs...
At some level of being I always knew this to be a messy state of things, an untruth, a split in the flow of life, a lie.
And now, I know deeply that judgments are there to show me where I am still hanging onto things. It seems that if I can't judge them, then what happened to me no longer matters either. Where is the accountability? Shouldn't there be some accountability so we don't go around harming each other for generations? This is such a profound release for me. It's so broad and far-reaching, this innerstanding that no thing matters. Even if I wanted to, I could not hang on to any of it any longer.
As someone who has always felt so strongly about doing no harm and not enabling harmful people, I've held on to judgements about people and cut them off from my life. And I have learned from these mirrors that shit happens and sometimes with some people, it happens a lot. But this is because of their unconsciousness, their programming and conditioning... and I knew this but I didn't know it was possible to release even this. It's akin to a return to the old me even with all that has played out over time.
This realization has me riding it, for days now, feeling it deeply, so deeply in fact that I ache. My whole body aches, limbs, joints, bones, deep. Old stuff that my body has hung onto decades ago, silently seeking justice from those who know not what they do.
Layers and layers. Even when I "get this" deeply I still want to hold back, not hang out with them and yet I LOVE them and I compassionately understand them and *this* and us.
" ~ Clare Grinn