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Early this morning...

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."
-Edgar Allan Poe
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Spiritwind
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Early this morning...

Postby Spiritwind » Mon Feb 26, 2018 3:16 pm

I normally get up pretty early and can't go back to sleep even before the alarm goes off. I'm going to write this quickly before it fades from my memory. I didn't even do my usual stuff upon getting up, other than to race out and start the generator and turn the howling inverter off. Freckles and the dogs seemed pretty disappointed, but they can wait. I did feed the kitties some canned cat food but that was a necessity if I wanted to be able to write in peace.

I have mentioned many times that I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness in my adopted family, as well as the fact that my early upbringing was less than desirable. I was not expecting the dream I had, as it touched some deep nerve in me.

First, in the dream, I am living in a fairly large home with two wood stoves and I assumed it was winter, since I was in a living room that had one crackling away. Some relatives had just returned a family member from a visit, and I don't remember much more than that. I think we thanked them, and then there was a new arrival, a man and a woman. I wondered what they could possibly want so we went out on to the porch and sat down. I remember looking up and there was this beautiful tree with stunning pink blossoms hanging down in profusion over the porch and kind of pointed it out to the visitors. The older woman sat at a round table, while the younger well dressed man sat in a chair in the corner. I must have been sitting on a bench, or perhaps chair kind of between them, with my back towards the porch railing.

I kept trying to get the man to just spit out why they were here, because he kept beating around the bush. Finally, it came out that they had paid a visit to discuss my adopted families estate, and something to the effect that each family member received what they deserved. Well, both my adopted parents had passed and I had received nothing, so I began to feel somewhat uncomfortable. I remember going over to sit next to the older woman and try to get her to tell me what was really going on, and I had to tell her to speak up multiple times due to being hard of hearing.

I realize now they were trying to do the same thing the JW's had always done, and that was to shame and guilt me into submission, and imply I was somehow not one of the saved due to my disobedience. Even in the dream something very huge began to well up in me, as I first began to explain in more detail the circumstances of my having to come live with this family, and finally my spirit soared to heights unimaginable, as I explained that I spent every waking moment of my life in communion with the Big Kahuna! They had been quizzing me on how I prayed, and in whose name blah blah.

I was so emotionally stirred that I'm fairly certain I said it out loud even though I was still dreaming, that I Rejoiced in who I was and who I had become, because of that relationship I had developed in my life with loving spirit. I made it clear that I did not have to have their approval, and that I wanted nothing from them. No more shame and guilt for me, under any circumstances.

I don't need your religion.
I don't need your thought patrol.
In fact, thank the wonder of all that is that I don't need you at all any more.
I am perfectly okay just being little ole me, and y'all can just fuck off now, thank you very much!
I’m not myself today, maybe I’m you
lsthompson711@yahoo.com

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Fred Steeves
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Re: Early this morning...

Postby Fred Steeves » Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:14 pm

Spiritwind wrote: I don't need your religion.
I don't need your thought patrol.
In fact, thank the wonder of all that is that I don't need you at all any more.
I am perfectly okay just being little ole me, and y'all can just fuck off now, thank you very much!


Outstanding!
The unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates

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Spiritwind
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Re: Early this morning...

Postby Spiritwind » Mon Apr 01, 2019 3:25 pm

I am not sure why I feel drawn to put the following here, but it feels right somehow. The more I get free of the various fractal thought prisons, probably created by all of us in the illusion of space/time, the more the me I thought I was kind of disappears. Yet I don’t feel empty. I feel more full than ever before. And I feel joy. I am glad I don’t feel the need to follow the pied piper, in all its various forms, any more. The only question I really need to ask myself is, what would love do?

My waking dream...

May my thoughts coalesce into something meaningful as I type out words upon the keyboard. I feel myself existing, experiencing various different roles upon various different screens of life, upon multidimensional waves of charged particles that are drawn into the dance of physicality.

I am me. Or am I? I feel a consciousness that is everywhere at once, that seems to be both the observer, and the orchestrater of consciousness. It is me, yet it is not me. It is one, yet it is all. It’s benevolent rays shine out in all directions, each light particle imbued with its own individuated consciousness, while appearing on the screen of countless dimensional frequencies. I think, therefore I am. But consciousness itself does not need to think. It simply is. Each particle becomes the orchestrater of its own destiny, through choice and thought, and reaction to the choices of other individuated particles.

It is thought that holds it all together. Do we really need to re-member the past? Or do we need to let go so that the true impulse from the creative center of all that is can now reassemble into something new. Something we actually haven’t done and experienced before. For the more we hold onto mem, the harder it is to reach our goal of reconnecting with the source of all that is. We must catch the wave, and keep our focus singular. We must become the wave itself, with no worry about its destination.
I’m not myself today, maybe I’m you
lsthompson711@yahoo.com

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Christine
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Re: Early this morning...

Postby Christine » Mon Apr 01, 2019 6:49 pm

I am going to add to what you wrote with an image that caught my attention yesterday. If we are located outside core point all we see is a revolving fractured mirror. The closer we become consciousness at core where duality ceases we experience much of what you describe. Quite a trip.

Image

Here is a very fractal conversation on fractals! I loved listening to these men... do they realize how spinning their spin is? I loved listening to them and found my self chuckling inside, part re-cog-ni-tion and part getting a kick out of the ridiculous nature of trying to put linear language to the inexplicable. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxOS2U9VuAc
Image
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.


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