Shin - tooth - pressure
20. Judgment
Sphere 8 - 10 (Hod to Malkuth)
Getting very close to the end here. This path has given me much to think deeply about, as it's very name, Judgment, is a term that means different things to different people. And my own view has changed much over time. It's actually kind of mentally taxing to try and break down it's impact, the energy of the Holy letter Shin, into something meaningful and applicable to our daily life experience, and yet, it is an Integral part of it.
Even if you perceive yourself as a non-judgmental person, there is so much overlap with the meaning of several other closely related terms, that one cannot honestly say they never pass judgment on anyone or anything. We all do it all the time, every day of our lives.
Grist for the mill comes to mind, and the two churning creating energy and friction, which is the very basis of our cosmos, in simplified terminology. Then I think of the symbol of the tooth for this key, about the very act of biting into things, applying pressure. Just being in this reality will cause one to encounter various life pressures, just to stay alive in this physical form. And one will also have to apply pressure, in one form or another, to the outer world.
Contemplating the deeper meaning of this key has taken me to some deep places. As I read through my various sources, several of which I will quote from, I couldn't help wondering how we got so far off track. Where only a few avenues of these teachings are officially sanctioned, and through systems that follow contradictory teachings in a way that almost seems to run counter to what the true meaning of these keys were trying to convey. Teachings that are intended to keep people in line through fear, separatist ideologies, and a false sense of loyalty to a war God of the ancient past (or maybe not so ancient).
I remember even as a child attending church with parental figures, and being taught that God is Love. Okay, I got that part. But I could not get how that could possibly be the same God spoken about in later scriptures where death and destruction of whole people's seemed the order of the day. This was an angry vengeful God, not at all loving. So I long ago figured out something went astray somewhere along the way. After so much study on these concepts and way of spiritual learning, which is really self learning, I can't help but think that in their original form, before all spiritual systems of merit got hijacked, that they could lead to a sense of self liberation and inner freedom.
But not the way it has become, all watered down, and without acknowledging the vital part the individual plays, in doing their own reflection, meditation, and self observation.
Related terms to contemplate:
Choice, decision, discrimination, assess and determine course of action, assumptions acted upon, decree, form an opinion, conclude, decide
I can't honestly believe I am having such a hard time finishing this key. But that is because there is more to glean. Upon deep reflection, I realized that some of my struggle has to do with judgment of a very personal nature. The judgments against the self are often buried quite deep. I realized that I still needed to look closely at some of those self judgments that I have not let go off. It has been a very long process, this letting go.
According to Paul Foster Case in the Tarot: A Key to the Wisdom of the Ages, "we may understand this symbol of the power which tears down limitations of form, as teeth break up food. As the serpent's fang, it represents the power which kills the false personality and its sense of separateness."
What do you do as you begin to wake up to whole new levels of awareness, and fully realize the damage that has been done during your ignorance. I am not the same person I was, even earlier in this lifetime, let alone the many other lives and experiences that have been had. I have had some pretty clear memories of beliefs, assumptions, and so on, and the subsequent behavior they produced. And some of it has been very hard to look at, let alone feel deeply into, so as to finally truly let it go. There are shades of self recrimination. And sometimes self forgiveness is the hardest of all. I could have, should have done this, not done that, or whatever. Even mean things I did as a kid come back to me, and make me shake my head that I am different now. But these memories, they are still a part of me. If I do not own them, I am likely to project them into my outer reality in some way. I do not want to give energy to recreating circumstances from my past. Genocides, wars, inquisitions, and so on.
It's in our DNA, our blood, these memories of the past. To heal them is to reveal them. I won't dwell too long here, other than to give voice to what has been plaguing me for some time now. So many judgments have been made, in the name of being's who have no right to rule at all. Time we stop playing their game, and pull our energy from the death cult, and death producing memes, and put it back into life, to love, to singing our world back to health and wellness.
I am ready to release that which no longer serves me. I do not need to punish myself anymore. Time to release those chains that have bound me, so that I can enter this world sovereign and free. Time to let that inner star shine, with all the brilliance I can muster! Almost like being born again, but with a higher perspective.
Having stated the above, it seems like a good time to introduce what The Hebrew Alphabet: A Mystical Journey by Edward Hoffman has to say on this letter. Shin "begins the word shalom, meaning peace - not simply an absence of strife, but the presence of wholeness and prosperity. It also opens the word Shabbat, the Sabbath, which demarks for us an experience of rest and sacred time, during which all is in harmony. For this reason, the sages have always associated the Shin with the rhythms of change in everyday life, ultimately leading to a peaceful existence." It is interesting to note that this letter also "begins the Hebrew word for two" and that part of our task here is to "overcome dualities in our thinking."
"The world as we know it is still moving towards wholeness." And I thought it was quite intriguing that the Sefer Ha-Temunah "teaches that one letter is currently missing from the Hebrew alphabet. Every seeming defect that we see in the cosmos is mysteriously linked to this missing consonant, which will become manifest in the future."
And this seemed like good parting wisdom when contemplating this letter, "try to be as happy as you possibly can. Search for your good points in order to make yourself happy. The main source of strength within us is joy."
This key makes me think of how the innocence of childhood gets lost often times. The joy of just being alive, and the wonder of letting the imagination go. Sometimes you have to go a long ways to come back a short distance (the zoo story).