I’m sitting here eating a banana, heating up the water to cook my oatmeal. Just threw some more wood on the fire, and thinking about my day ahead. This picture is from yesterday afternoon out here, even though the worst of it blew by us. Many in its path lost power. Fortunately that wouldn’t affect us.
The forecast said it might rain a bit this morning but as I wondered why it suddenly felt so cold I realized it was lightly snowing, so the temperatures did indeed drop rather sudden like. I’m kind of glad my neighbor isn’t an early riser, as it will give me more time to get myself in the right mental mindset for the day ahead. The plan is to clean up the bucks pen and load it, and the pile that’s composted from last year, into our pickup and take it over to his sisters. We are trading poop for firewood! He put some on her garden this last summer and she saw what a boost it gave it, and we definitely need firewood.
So we have our weekend cut out for us. This next week the propane company is coming out to assess where to put a tank, so that’s exciting, and we did get the car over to our mechanic friend. They’re buying some property and are in the process of moving across the road. We finally got some wood they promised us a couple years ago as part trade on our horse trailer (which I almost wished we had kept), but it couldn’t come at a better time. We’re anticipating a possibly long cold winter. Looks like we’ll be doing some trading, as we both need some things done, that the other can do.
They know I’m all for building community, and bartering. In fact, I am very motivated to continue my journey away from reliance on money, more so all the time. So many people are not happy and constantly full of anxiety over how they are going to pay their way through life. And the disparity between the haves and have nots continues to grow exponentially. Our whole idea of what constitutes success is seriously skewed. So, I will learn as I go and face each aspect of the heavy duty programming and indoctrination as it comes up in me, that I have received my whole life regarding the role money should play in our lives. You notice, I didn’t say fearlessly. But I will move through it each time, stronger for it. Our motto is adapt, overcome, improvise, and conquer.
Besides, people have lived without it for far longer than with it. And I just cannot support the belief that money should be my primary focus in life any more at all. It’s part of what keeps us enslaved, in a system not of our making, that is pernicious, all consuming, and evil at its core. A bit of a rant, I know, but hey, it’s my thread and I can do what I want to, LOL.
So, I have a confession to make, that’s slightly embarrassing but I must. Just yesterday, Miss Cry Baby, who I commented just last post about being pregnant, is NOT! She was in heat, crying up a storm all day long. That means she totally faked me out. It’s not the first time, but I am a little surprised. Her udder did appear to start filling out, and she did put on weight and didn’t seem to be going into heat. But I guess false pregnancies are not that uncommon with goats. Yup, that goat got my goat! Kinda good though, as it wasn’t supposed to happen anyway. Danae has gotten incredibly big, if she isn’t pregnant, but now I’m not so sure about her either. Geese Louise, what a funny life I live.
Just lately, though, I have been ever more deeply reflecting on how fortunate I am, and how my husband absolutely insisting that I keep putting my time and effort into our little farm rather than getting an outside job, has afforded me a rare opportunity. Pushing back the outside world is probably one of the best ways there is to experience that elusive something we all know is possible. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I find each day a growing sense of awe, of being in that sweet spot where, like being in the eye of the storm, all is well, all is at peace. I can, in short, feel as if I am in divine presence, as if God is all around me, and in me, and there literally is nothing else. Just typing these words brings tears of knowing to my eyes. I can’t change the world, and their strange show that’s onscreen “out there”, but here it just all fades away into nothingness. I know I’ve basically said this all before, but it merits repeating. In an increasingly fear filled world and reality unfolding for so many, it’s helpful to know that there’s a place of refuge, if you but take the time to learn how to access it. From my experience, it’s time well spent.
Those moments, like just yesterday when Katniss wanted to interact with me, and I was able to just take the time and soak it up. Pure love. Or when I go out to do chores and one of the girls really wants attention, and I get to stop and scratch in that place that makes their eyes go all dreamy. And when I get to see them sleeping all nestled up with one another. They are like one big family. The horse whinny’s when I open the door in the morning, and we talk back and forth. The dogs are usually right there, and Ranger gets into his “I’m so happy to see you” mode, and runs back and forth in a blur. Then he lays down on his back to get his belly rub, which I generally go along with. So so much to be thankful for. Now I gotta take a break and go feed everyone. Hopefully I’ll get time to finish this today.
Okay, I’m back. As usual, once I get going I can think of so many things to go on about. One funny thing I’ll mention, is about my wildlife learning opportunities. We have a little family (where there is one, there is always more) of gophers who have been creating their tunnel system down between the big barn and the corn patch. First, I noticed a bunch of dirt that looked freshly dug up (because it was), and a little entrance hole some ways away. Being the curious sort, as I walk by it several times every day, I wanted to see what the cats would do. They are aware that there is something living in there, and they often spend the night outdoors. I’ve seen them stick their paws in the hole and just lay there, or even lay on top of the hole. I’ve also noticed that the little critters kept filling in the old hole, and digging a new one or two every few days, thereby creating a network. I work with the Medicine Cards put out by Jamie Sams and David Carson, which has Prairie Dog. Gophers, prairie dogs, and ground squirrels all have similar habits, building nests underground. And it appears that though our cats are quite vigilant, at least so far they are outsmarting them. For some reason, this all intrigues me. It’s also a good hint to plan for the future, as they do (and which I have been doing). Ah, life on the farm.
We also have to rebuild the boys shelter here soon. They get so rambunctious this time of year that it is falling apart. It was needing some work anyway, but, other than the roof, it’s a complete rebuild. Contemplating when to start breeding and to whom. Will save that for later musings. Wrote down when most of them went in and out of heat this last couple weeks, to help keep track of what to expect about their cycles, so I can time it right. I could write a whole other post about the bizarreness at my husband’s work, but think I’ll pass on that for now. Will just say that he is kinda thinking that when their one year lease is up on the property, the owners will probably not want to renew it. I guess it’s the building they were buying. That will be around the beginning of February. Being astrologically inclined, I’ve mentioned that I have looked ahead and know that January through March will most likely hold some surprises, not only individually for my husband and I, but also the larger collective (even though we don’t know what it is yet). So we are definitely looking ahead and planning accordingly. On the other hand, you can only be ready for so much!
Some times you just have to take a leap of faith, and trust that there will be something to land on. I kinda like the idea of having a magic carpet. Ya just never know.