Way before the sun rises still deep in the quiet night she wakes. The mind opens its self to reflect on the past day, as it does much tumbles out in streams of consciousness. She listens to herself. She’s been on this river for a long time, what she hears is the lapping of water coming ashore. Standing hip deep in the stream she takes a deep breath and submerges for another plunge.
Narcissism seems to be the subject du jour of the awakened collective mind, those that ponder the cause and effect of living in this world teeming with fractured humans. I am not alone in observing for many have developed an inner eye that sees within the field and acknowledges the call for further penetration. We wrestle with worn out descriptive phrases and accepted labels called ideologies, to get beyond this is an act of reflection, self reflection.
Ah… so here she goes.
Much has been written about narcissism and narcissistic personalities; the great calamity of living with one, the need to detach from their often well wrought covert or overt manipulations. She wants to go a little further here into the introversion of the word narcissism.
These are my lessons from experience and it is what flows from my observations that I wish to share. At what moment in time did we human beings taste the first drop of blood that infused us with an ego? For ego to develop it must depend on it’s own reflection. ie: it projects into the world what it wants or needs to be affirmed and is dependent on what is reflected back to it to sustain itself. This wasn’t meant to be a negative aspect for humans when they first tasted the fruit of the tree of knowledge had not only the ability to think, but to know they think. Abstract thought and self reflection gave them the ability to become self aware. In that manner we are all narcissistic, what psychologists call healthy narcissism.
My latest inner reflections, those that have been honed with the sharp sword of self observation are where my inner narcissist lays. With unremitting self observation I have learned to run through my own emotional and mental framework in a determined manner, to become transparently honest with myself. Where are my triggers, my hairpin about turns, what do I cling to, do I need to make someone wrong so I can be right? To be successful this requires ruthless self honesty. And when the sticky spider webs are found, no matter how subtle, I must acknowledge them, embrace them and allow their teachings to show me what I need to release. From observation letting go seems to be the most difficult of human challenges. Narcissism is deeper than we have discovered, by careful examination without the censoring judgemental voice that often crowds out the quiet inner one we can use such encounters as meters in which to assess our own behaviors and use the experience as a pulling salve to draw out our shadow from deep within the subconscious realms.
When an ego doesn’t get the affirmation that it desires it has two distinct choices, change according to the intelligence of the field or reinstall itself in stubborn self righteousness. What happens when the inhabitant of the ego doesn’t learn to source from self it will use all means necessary to get what it wants and so the road begins for those who will develop all the nasty traits of a full blown narcissistic disorder.
Recently I was challenged to run the gauntlet as someone almost forgotten surfaced through a crack in the floor boards. Immersed as I’ve been dealing with the demands of the 3D realm, my energy long ago withdrawn it caught me by surprise, a momentary surprise that arrived bearing the gift of a call to go to Great Spirit for counsel.
She surfaces and exhales, much to her levity she found that for all the hooks, barbs, spidery tentacles, for the sugar coated niceties, the admonishing condemnations, and even a few covert threats she smiles seeing through it all.
The development of true compassion allowed a embracing happiness for someone who continues on their chosen path, that while she sees straight through the ploys and manipulations she rejoices in another.
Sharing two articles for those concerned with the plague of narcissism on our planet or are themselves impaired by someone close to them. It seems that the time is here to fully acknowledge that so many have become hallow shells living only to fulfill an imposed virtual reality dream. Few will walk the path all the way home in this life time though ultimately all will or perish. These are not dictates, they come from an accumulative gnosis of the inner realm for this is the only door through to the other side.
It is likely that few don’t carry some marker of this affliction to humankind and it feels ever more vital today to take a renewed look at what we are collectively dealing with.
“The self inflicted sword of truth severs completely all attachments to outcome and a being takes one further step toward freedom.” ~ Aureo Sky
Painting: Narciso (1890) di Jules-Cyrille Cavé