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Post by Spiritwind »

I’m just going to start writing and see what I end up with. Seems a lot of different threads floating around in my consciousness, and feel the need to try and tie it all together.

I know I’ve written a lot about love, and it is almost daily what I keep coming back to, as the primary choice I consciously wish to make as far as the energetic state I want to maintain. I’m very aware that some days the flow of life affirming people, and situations I encounter in my life, seems unobstructed. Other days, not so much.

Since I have studied Kabbalistic concepts in depth for many years, I do tend to consciously reflect and apply these principles to my every day life. The two spheres at the top of the tree, after it branches into two streams of energy, one to the right called Chokmah, and one to the left called Binah, are indicative of counter forces. Underneath Chokmah is Chesed, and shows the nature of this side of the tree as being more expansive, and is related to the concept of mercy. Underneath Binah on the left, is Geburah, which shows the nature of this side of the tree to be more constrictive, and is related to the concept of severity. You see, we don’t reside in heaven anymore, at least experientially, and so must learn to grapple, and hopefully master, the art of maintaining equilibrium between these two energies.

If you think of a small child, it helps to get an understanding of these principles. Put any two year olds together with a single toy, and you will see them fighting over it. The idea of sharing is something that has to be learned through experience, as well as the ability to delay gratification. We see ample examples of those in our lives who may be adults physically, but never did master these concepts, for whatever reason. The better we have learned to master our own impulses will reflect in how we parent or mentor those who look to us as role models.

I know this from my own personal experience, having been a parent to two young boys in my 20’s, long before I learned to master much of anything. Then I had my daughter in my mid 30’s. What a world of difference! I must add that my lack of self mastery also reflected in my choice of partners. Sure, I can blame my early circumstances of being in and out of foster homes, physical and emotional abuse by my adoptive father, and a biological mother who passed on the dysfunctional behaviors of being raised by a wealthy alcoholic father. But I’d rather accept responsibility for the reality I live in now.

Wealthy people are only able to hide their level of dysfunction behind a false screen of being considered better than everyone else, as if they somehow deserved it due to good karma having accrued. I know most of them do feel this way, for my step-grandfather was a Freemason who clearly demonstrated this bias in several conversations with him. In his own not so subtle way he indicated that it was appropriate to have a large portion of lower class people to do all the menial labor type jobs at a lower wage. The so called financially privileged do indeed feel as though they somehow are more worthy or deserve their special status, even though by and large they do little to actually improve life for the masses on planet earth. I would go so far as to say it’s harder for them to learn the valuable lessons that teach humility, gratitude, compassion, and genuine love. These traits cannot be bought. And these are the folks in charge.

I write about all this, kind of repetitively, because the frustration so many feel is very real. I’m not saying all wealthy people are insensitive and incapable of real empathy, but almost. And the rest of the population does seem to be falling ever more deeply asleep in some ways. Yes, there are some waking up, but even amongst those, there is no cohesiveness. I worked for the Fair Budget Action Campaign (FBAC) in the state of Washington back in the mid 90’s and saw so many good hearted wonderful people putting out a tremendous amount of energy trying to change a system that was not showing appropriate care or concern for our most marginalized and vulnerable portions of the population. It was like sticking a finger in a tiny hole of a large dam while a huge crack was forming indicating an imminent flood.

I also attended meetings during this time of peace activists who were mostly about 20-30 years older than me. I was in my mid 30’s at the time, and found it interesting that so many of these people had been very active back in the late 60’s and 70’s and early 80’s. They were bemused that people just didn’t seem to be that interested in taking any outward action to help make the world a better safer place to live.

I have noticed this rise and fall of what almost seems like a fleeting fad for a while. Even my good friend here locally just had a booth at a holistic festival, and noted that attendance was down, and there was less interest in what she had to share about the vaccine agenda, chemtrails, GMO’s and the 5G roll out, among other things. Her whole goal is to provide actual research about these topics to help provide educational materials for those who want to know more than what the mainstream media is promoting as truth. Back in the 90’s and early 2000’s these holistic and psychic fairs were quite the draw, and there was a flowering of interest in all these types of alternative subjects.

So, what gives? I will try to tie together my many thoughts on this. I recently read a great deal of information about the Tavistock Institute ( ... n_John.pdf" onclick=";return false;) and now am almost done reading the book Messengers of Deception: UFO Contacts and Cults by Jacques Vallee. Even though they are each writing with a bit of a slant and I do not agree with everything they have to say on these topics, there is a great deal of information that helps fill in a whole bunch of gaps in figuring out what is actually going on here.

First of all, it is very hard for most people to wrap their minds around the potential long term planning and steering of our consciousness at work here. I guess I just keep opening Pandora’s box and want to know more, and now I can’t even shut the box anymore. Once the picture starts to form, even if some of the pieces are missing, it’s hard to deny what is taking shape.

I took a few moments to just sit, and feel, as I received some kitty love. Writing for me is a form of catharsis, release, as the emotions tend to build up inside from all this information coming in from so many directions, and creates a sense of despair, almost. Like, why do I bother, why can’t I just go back to sleep, literally and figuratively speaking? Tears threaten to flow as I think about it. I just can’t seem to cremate my ability to care, and care deeply, for all life here. ... n-of-care/" onclick=";return false;

And I see that as a good thing. Also, just because a picture is starting to form, does not in any way mean I have it all figured out. To the contrary, in some ways the picture has a tendency to keep expanding in shape and size, making it difficult, if not impossible to come to any concrete or certain conclusions. Maybe that’s because reality itself is not as solid and constant as we’ve been taught to believe. Just looking at something can make that something begin to change. A couple things to illustrate my point would be what happened when I went for a few TIR (using the traumatic incident reduction techniques) sessions back in early 2014. Some childhood memories morphed into a vivid scene of what at first glance may have been abduction experiences, if not physical, at least astral. Close to five years later I have far more questions than answers. What I have noticed, though, is quite a few have figured out how to cash in on those experiences, and decided to run with it. They “believe”, much like any religious belief, that they “know”, and not only that, they are making a business out of becoming the go to authority figures on this topic. I encourage discussion but hesitate to follow any one figure, or group of figures, dispensing to the rest of us a definitive explanation and projected outcome.

I watched the three part video series of Clif High by Forum Borealis speaking on Antarctica. He mentions the blue chicken cult, which kind of made me laugh, although I do not want to engage, as so many have, in outright and unnecessary meanness. All of us have been played, in one way or another. None of us are free from these pernicious and deceptive influences. And this is where I get back to my original comments about the tree. You see, none of this about which I write can be fully separated from my own inner knowing, visions, and remembrances, that go far beyond the physical, and this current life experience. I am not worried about leaving this world, for I know in truth that even though it feels all so real, and the suffering of so many is as real as it gets here, it is still not even close to all there is. In some ways, I feel entering the physical itself is a form of death, because it seems to have a beginning and end. This is why fear has become such a valuable programming tool here, on both the conscious and unconscious levels.

Even when I was a child I knew something was wrong, at least since I was about four years old. I had an inborn revulsion to wealthy people, as I saw in a very up close and personal way how insensitive and arrogant they were even in my own family. Of course, they, too, sensed something different about me. That’s probably why they had to get rid of me, yet strangely keep tabs on me. And I have always been drawn to systems of deeper knowing that predate our current understandings and occult teachings. The more I delved deep into Kabbalah, astrology, tarot, the Hebrew alphabet, numerology, and so on, the more I began to realize that something was askew. I got over my early religious indoctrination to not look at anything outside what I was being taught to believe without question. But I also began to see that all of these systems have been somewhat altered from their original form. In many cases, study of these systems within the prevailing literature and organizations of recent times and going back at least several hundred years has not demonstrated what I feel was their original purpose. And that is to make better humans beings out of us, capable of expanded thinking and actions.

What’s missing? Simple. Love is missing. It starts with self love, and then radiates out from there. The middle way we keep hearing about, has been hijacked and manipulated to actually draw many earnest seekers astray. Like a dog chasing it’s tail, we go round and round, yet never seem to get anywhere. And love has nothing to do with how much stuff you own, or how good you look, or how many followers you have. They keep us complicit in a system, that even if it’s unconscious, leaves us fearful, full of anxiety, and insecure. And that is by design. How much easier we are to herd in this condition.

Even in the tree, there are no paths leading to Daath. They, in a round about way, steer you off from looking too deep, cautioning about Qliphoth (The Qliphoth/Qlippoth/Qlifot or Kelipot, literally "Peels", "Shells" or "Husks", are the representation of evil or impure spiritual forces in Jewish mysticism, the polar opposites of the holy Sefirot. The realm of evil is also termed Sitra Achra/Aḥra in Kabbalah texts. Wikipedia). Yet, not looking at our own unconscious shadows only causes them to grow in intensity. Thus, why so much cognitive dissonance is growing exponentially in our world today. To look, we would have to see and work through our own part that has lead us to where we are now. And most have not developed the self love to do this, even when they have an inkling this is where their salvation lies.

That’s why I feel so fortunate. One of my childhood memories, regardless of what really happened and where it originated, has to do with having experienced being in this field of love. It was intense, and other worldly, as if time was suspended, and everything even appeared sparkly to my eyes. If you delve into a search for our origins, it will inevitably lead you back to a couple things. One, was the shining god-like beings who actually at first seemed to be interested in helping mankind actuate a larger perspective, worldview, and ability to interact with this reality. Then there is Shekinah, a beautiful radiant feminine being who exemplified love, abundance, and compassion. Then the gods seemed to have went dark, and an infiltrating intelligence appeared on the scene. Stories abound about how they married into royal families of the time, and began a systematic eradication effort to get rid of these more benevolent influences.

Where did they actually come from, when, and why? Many pieces are floating around that provide partial answers, but I certainly don’t see a remotely complete picture, and hesitate to accept the answers provided by others at this time. And why does any of this even matter? Maybe it doesn’t to anyone but me. But it helps, as a form of catharsis really, to unload and unpack this all as cohesively as I can. It brings a certain type of emotional release, and an ability to renew my passion for life, and just being present, even though this is growing to be an increasingly unstable reality, where fear is actually being amped up, albeit largely on an unconscious level. In other words, I do it for myself. I want to continue cultivate the space of love, at least within my own life, for that’s really all I have to offer. And keeping myself clear is absolutely necessary. So I write. It doesn’t cost me anything, but a little time and effort.

And I know I’m not alone in my occasional frustration, and even rage at times that wells up in me from the serious lack of compassion prevalent in this world. I have to clear the deck every now and then, to renew myself. A purging of sorts. I don’t ever want to turn off my faucet that allows an abundance of love to flow through. Otherwise, I just couldn’t handle being here. And I think I’m finally done. Kudos to anyone who manages to get all the way through this. I do share, hoping to inspire and encourage others, who likewise feel the frustration I do, and feel a sense of futility at times. We need to continue being the sign posts that point the way. Love self first, with all that is easy to love, and that which sometimes requires great effort to love and forgive, and all else will fall into place.

I know I didn’t change a thing, but yet I feel better having written it all out. With tremendous mountain moving love for all life, I bid you adieu.
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....

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Re: Catharsis

Post by Christine »

Ah... Beautiful friend, that was wonderful to read. I fully agree that writing is cathartic and don't underestimate the value of sharing so openly. I often have wondered if my words, written and spoken have any impact. I've come to know they do, it isn't often but when someone reaches out to me to let me know that they heard what was shared it keeps me going.

I am working on a video right now all about how resonance changes our world, especially when we are focused and in the embrace of love. We are moving out of maybes and doubts and when we finally are clear of all our gunk I suspect we will be gifted with new sight.

There's magic in the words we use. I envision how those of old by candle light scripted their insights, especially when we used our ancient languages All this floats through my memory and it is growing more real by day and by night.
The journey, the challenge is to step into the
projection room and stop being lost in the script.

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Re: Catharsis

Post by Fred Steeves »

I know that ever forming grand picture you speak of Spiritwind. Every time I think I'm ready to put my finger on it and say "ah, so THAT'S what it is", I realize no, that's not quite it either.

It may be that at a certain level, but it certainly is nowhere near the whole ball of wax, and even then the level I do think I see correctly starts to morph just a bit as in "shit, even THAT'S not quite right"...

That's okay though, I'm always in hot pursuit. Or, is it perhaps the other way around?

The unexamined life is not worth living.


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