Trauma and it’s Consequences - a personal story
Posted: Sun Jan 26, 2020 4:09 pm
Trauma and it’s Consequences - a personal story
I have a back load of items I’d like to post about, a Farm Life post to write, yet today I must begin the process of putting words to a severe trauma experienced here, almost a week ago now. I can finally think about what occurred, without an avalanche of emotions.
And, the reason I feel it’s important to write about in the first place, is because trauma is such a part of being embodied here on earth. I want to see if I can get to the heart of the matter. For part of my journey is moving back into a place of trust. Trust in myself, trust in life, trust in nature.
Sounds simple, but it isn’t really at all. And trauma has a very interesting way of playing out in our lives, with subtle consequences that often get overlooked, ignored, or cast aside. Even just the word, trauma, has a variety of meanings, spanning across many areas of life. It doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, and the degree to which it impacts our lives has a wide range of expression as well.
My husband, for example, was in the military for off/on 23 years. He experienced more trauma than most can even imagine, yet his mental health remains intact. That doesn’t mean there are no pockets of residue, that rear their head on occasion. There most certainly is.
I may just start this, and come back to it, for I feel as I write that there will be more to say on the topic than time will permit today. Part of my strategy for moving through this, is to do what I can to prevent another re-occurrence of the type of trauma we just experienced. But it all makes me think about those who have had to learn to live with traumatic circumstances over which they feel powerless to change or control. Those who live in abusive situations who feel they cannot leave or have no where to go, or any support system. Those who live where there is great conflict, and waking up each day, and even going to sleep each night, is fraught with possible danger, and those who have experienced more loss than most of us can even imagine. We often don’t hear their voices.
In fact, there is even a certain amount of judgement that goes with it, in a general sense. I see many who can walk right by a homeless person who is sleeping on the sidewalk, and assume that somehow that person made a series of wrong life choices to end up there, and somehow deserves what he or she is experiencing. The rich often treat those who are materially poor as though they, too, somehow deserve their circumstances. I see the separation this creates, all around me.
Don’t get me wrong, life choices do factor in there, sometimes quite heavily. I know someone who is over 400 pounds, who comes from a family that never concerned itself with maintaining health. In fact, quite the opposite. Heavy alcohol consumption, as many prescription drugs as could be obtained and ingested, along with dietary habits that kind of make me shudder to think about. Now when that person goes to the doctor, any suggestion about life style changes are generally ignored, or tried for such a brief period of time as to be of no real value. This person can’t seem to understand why all the prescription medications are not improving quality of life, and in fact seem to be hastening the whole downward spiral. This person works out with weights to strengthen his upper body, but generally spends most of his time sitting or lying down. His mother is in a nursing home because of checking out from life a long time ago. She did so many prescription opiates, that after a few years of a drug induced fog and not wanting to get out of bed, she can no longer do so. The muscles in her legs atrophied.
The reason I’m writing about the above examples, is because it would be easy to say, well, this person deserves everything he gets. Well, yes, and yet, no. I say this because it’s a long road to generational trauma, and its consequences, and the effort needed to be made to change that is not easy. There is still room for compassion in this story. And there are no easy answers. And lack of being properly taught how to navigate life in a healthy way is something that optimally starts very early in life.
My grandson, as another example, started life eating top ramen, sugary cereals, boxed macaroni and cheese, McDonalds Happy Meals, and candy. He now won’t eat hardly any foods that would be considered healthy. And he does have behavioral problems that he receives medication for, and digestive problems are already part of his life. He is only 12.
Then, we often go on to assign blame for “the way things are”. Which, does not really help, if it’s a better world we want to create. And that, my friends, opens up a whole other can of worms, which I will have to come back to.
As Russel Means basically said in one of his videos I listened to, “we’re all on the reservation now”, and it appears we have been for a very long time. And all of this has veered wildly from the personal trauma I experienced here on the farm. But, strangely, it all factors in. I can see it definitely will take several posts to tie this all together. There is a lot I have to say on the topic, and I’ve barely just begun. I’ll be back.
I have a back load of items I’d like to post about, a Farm Life post to write, yet today I must begin the process of putting words to a severe trauma experienced here, almost a week ago now. I can finally think about what occurred, without an avalanche of emotions.
And, the reason I feel it’s important to write about in the first place, is because trauma is such a part of being embodied here on earth. I want to see if I can get to the heart of the matter. For part of my journey is moving back into a place of trust. Trust in myself, trust in life, trust in nature.
Sounds simple, but it isn’t really at all. And trauma has a very interesting way of playing out in our lives, with subtle consequences that often get overlooked, ignored, or cast aside. Even just the word, trauma, has a variety of meanings, spanning across many areas of life. It doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, and the degree to which it impacts our lives has a wide range of expression as well.
My husband, for example, was in the military for off/on 23 years. He experienced more trauma than most can even imagine, yet his mental health remains intact. That doesn’t mean there are no pockets of residue, that rear their head on occasion. There most certainly is.
I may just start this, and come back to it, for I feel as I write that there will be more to say on the topic than time will permit today. Part of my strategy for moving through this, is to do what I can to prevent another re-occurrence of the type of trauma we just experienced. But it all makes me think about those who have had to learn to live with traumatic circumstances over which they feel powerless to change or control. Those who live in abusive situations who feel they cannot leave or have no where to go, or any support system. Those who live where there is great conflict, and waking up each day, and even going to sleep each night, is fraught with possible danger, and those who have experienced more loss than most of us can even imagine. We often don’t hear their voices.
In fact, there is even a certain amount of judgement that goes with it, in a general sense. I see many who can walk right by a homeless person who is sleeping on the sidewalk, and assume that somehow that person made a series of wrong life choices to end up there, and somehow deserves what he or she is experiencing. The rich often treat those who are materially poor as though they, too, somehow deserve their circumstances. I see the separation this creates, all around me.
Don’t get me wrong, life choices do factor in there, sometimes quite heavily. I know someone who is over 400 pounds, who comes from a family that never concerned itself with maintaining health. In fact, quite the opposite. Heavy alcohol consumption, as many prescription drugs as could be obtained and ingested, along with dietary habits that kind of make me shudder to think about. Now when that person goes to the doctor, any suggestion about life style changes are generally ignored, or tried for such a brief period of time as to be of no real value. This person can’t seem to understand why all the prescription medications are not improving quality of life, and in fact seem to be hastening the whole downward spiral. This person works out with weights to strengthen his upper body, but generally spends most of his time sitting or lying down. His mother is in a nursing home because of checking out from life a long time ago. She did so many prescription opiates, that after a few years of a drug induced fog and not wanting to get out of bed, she can no longer do so. The muscles in her legs atrophied.
The reason I’m writing about the above examples, is because it would be easy to say, well, this person deserves everything he gets. Well, yes, and yet, no. I say this because it’s a long road to generational trauma, and its consequences, and the effort needed to be made to change that is not easy. There is still room for compassion in this story. And there are no easy answers. And lack of being properly taught how to navigate life in a healthy way is something that optimally starts very early in life.
My grandson, as another example, started life eating top ramen, sugary cereals, boxed macaroni and cheese, McDonalds Happy Meals, and candy. He now won’t eat hardly any foods that would be considered healthy. And he does have behavioral problems that he receives medication for, and digestive problems are already part of his life. He is only 12.
Then, we often go on to assign blame for “the way things are”. Which, does not really help, if it’s a better world we want to create. And that, my friends, opens up a whole other can of worms, which I will have to come back to.
As Russel Means basically said in one of his videos I listened to, “we’re all on the reservation now”, and it appears we have been for a very long time. And all of this has veered wildly from the personal trauma I experienced here on the farm. But, strangely, it all factors in. I can see it definitely will take several posts to tie this all together. There is a lot I have to say on the topic, and I’ve barely just begun. I’ll be back.