compassion

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Eelco
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compassion

Post by Eelco »

VENERABLE SANGYE KHADRO

We need to distinguish true compassion from “idiot compassion”. We sometimes over-react emotionally at the sight of suffering. We can be so distressed that we weep uncontrollably, faint or run away in horror. Our heart may be moved with pity but our emotions are so out-of-control that we can’t do anything to help! In other cases we might do something but because we lack right understanding of the problem or the person experiencing it, our “help” only makes the situation worse. These are examples of idiot compassion. True compassion balances loving-concern with clear wisdom. This wisdom enables us to stay calm and think clearly how best to help, without being carried away by our emotions
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Re: compassion

Post by Eelco »

PEMA CHODRON
IDIOT COMPASSION

refers to something we all do a lot of and call it compassion. In some ways, it’s what’s called enabling. It’s the general tendency to give people what they want because you can’t bear to see them suffering. Basically, you’re not giving them what they need. You’re trying to get away from your feeling of I can’t bear to see them suffering. In other words, you’re doing it for yourself. You’re not really doing it for them.
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Re: compassion

Post by Spiritwind »

I'm not going to look this word up in the dictionary and break down the origins and so forth (I like to do that). I have also been thinking of the word sacrifice, and how it has come to be quite distorted into something different than it once was.

For me, compassion sometimes hurts. I look around and feel around, and have the ability to often feel the pain of others. That's been part of the trick, to learn to determine what is mine, and what is other. When I help someone in need, do I do it to make them feel better, or do I do it to relieve my own pain? Probably a little of both.

Actually, what I really do, knowing I can't change the whole big world out there, is I listen to a small but strong voice or urging within. I don't help everyone person with a cardboard sign out there. If I did I would have nothing left to take care of myself. But, I do occasionally get a strong sensation, and strangely, it's not in my heart, but in my gut where I feel it. I just know that is the moment to reach out and I do. It's a kind of miraculous thing to see happen, as if something greater than myself guides those moments. I also don't exhaust myself that way, as I leave it to something that I trust to let me know when it is appropriate, and how much etc. Because otherwise it can be enabling. And sometimes compassion is not trying to take away someone's pain, but just being present and allowing them the space they need to feel it in a safe way for themselves.

For me, it's a dance of discernment. I have had moments when the talk amongst whoever I am with becomes very negative oriented. It almost develops an energy of its own, as certain subjects are discussed, often centering on all that is wrong with this world. Pretty soon it can feel like it is just going in a circle, gaining momentum and feeling angry. Not that it is not ok to feel some anger about certain things that we are discovering are currently going on in this world. Some of these things we can hardly wrap our mind around having occurred in some long forgotten time in the past, let alone still occurring in the here and now.

Once again, it is a dance for me. I do not want to remain in ignorance, just because something is so horrific I just don't want to believe it could be happening. But then translating that energy into action is the only appropriate way to channel that anger once it has surfaced. Otherwise I could just spin my wheels and stay part of the problem, either through my ignore-ance (watch Mark Passio's video's), or my anger and inaction.

I have also learned a lot about compassion raising children. Because I am so close to them, I am naturally tuned to feeling distress when they do. I have had to learn to release that energy in myself, so that I can just be there for them, but still let them work out whatever it is for themselves. Wanting to be a better parent, and not be so reactive, has probably been one of my biggest motivators for self improvement. So they have been my teachers.

The animal kingdom is another. They have taught me a great deal in this area as well. But I also think about what compassion would be to a being who maybe isn't even embodied, or has expanded beyond what we seem capable of here in the human form having this earthly experience. If I knew the true history of how we got to where we are, maybe my ideas about compassion would change, I don't know. I try to stay open minded, because I realize I just don't know what I don't know. I try to have compassion for myself probably most of all. That has been a big part of my own self healing process. This is a topic I think about quite frequently.
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Re: compassion

Post by Eelco »

Thank you for your elaborate post about the implications of compassion on your life.

I only wish I had such a clear compassionate compass, but fear that I shared the idiot compassion remarks above because even though I feel deeply at times it transforms to one of a few types of idiot compassion. I have a lot to learn still.

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Re: compassion

Post by Spiritwind »

Eelco, I have been a massively introspective person who has struggled for, well, a long long time, with trying to find the right words to explain something that really has no words. Many many teachings have helped me along the way. It is just recently that I have come to this place, where I hope the energy behind my words can be felt, and never know if I can do it or not. But it's worth the try, and that is what we're all trying to do here, in my view, each in our own way. How to get beyond the words to that magical place where we are just ourselves, as individuals, and yet energetically attuned to one another.

Often times when I write, it is after I try to reach a place within my being where I feel most receptive to higher understanding and what the wise teacher archetype that already resides within has to tell me. So I read what someone else has shared, and then what I share is just me trying to relate to that, to what it sparks within me. I never mean to derail, but simply learn to dance, hopefully in a way that leads to better understanding. That is why music is so wonderful. I had to take a music appreciation class many years ago, which forced me out of the musical rut I was in. It was amazing to go and see everyone in attendance come into a collective place of resonance that could be felt. And for me to learn to appreciate types of music that I had previously rejected in an almost knee jerk fashion. For me, its also always about pushing the limits, even making myself uncomfortable at times. Especially as I get older, I find myself slipping into routine patterns of thinking and behaving that I have to confront, just to stay awake and aware. They say if you don't use it, you'll lose it, and I guess that can apply to anything.

And, maybe I have trouble with the word idiot, kind of like you do with the word sheeple. If we don't know something because it's been intentionally not available and or purposefully hidden from us, then we cannot be said to be ignorant. Ignorant is when the information is totally available, from a variety of sources, and yet, for all kinds of reasons, we choose to ignore that information. So, I can totally relate to what you shared, but I too, under that description, have been, and probably will in ways I don't even know, be an idiot again. I'd rather see myself as being in the process of self mastery who occasionally sees new ways to improve, especially when I get those hidden buttons pushed. Those are the ones you can't see coming. So, instead of it being looked at now as a problem, I see these as opportunities. It works for me anyway. It's all your fault Eelco, you got me in a rambling mood. Just kidding. In my view, we all have a lot to learn.
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Re: compassion

Post by Christine »

This is not the first time nor will it be the last time I post this video... Compassion, like Truth is Known and felt and when touched you simply can not doubt any longer. I have listened to this so many times and the ringing sound of the bell transports me to the elixir of pure compassion, life!

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1ZwaEzMtJw[/youtube]
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The journey, the challenge is to step into the
projection room and stop being lost in the script.

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