Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

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Shezbeth
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Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Shezbeth »

Yes, that is a deliberate misspelling.

Here I will detail true stories from my personal experience, as illustrates the operative manner of the Zonbi Nindo.

I do this to assist in the overall conveyance of what I am seeking to import, that misconceptions and misinterpretations (not to mention failures to effectively communicate) can otherwise be minimized.

This is NOT intended as self-aggrandizement,...

... but if the shoe fits. Xp
Last edited by Shezbeth on Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Shezbeth »

Today I had a trip to Subway, on behalf of myself and my sworn companion.

We both purchased 1' meatball subs, cuz they're tasty; its like spaghetti except with bread instead of noodo.

Mine was delicious; it was everything I expected, and I ate the whole thing.

Now before I detail what happened 'after', let me detail the details which my attention observed but didn't appreciate the significance of until later.

While I was in line, I observed that during the application of the meatball and sauce - which is very hot - the woman who was helping me spilled some sauce on her hand and flinched. This did not strike me as odd, because the sauce is kept at 'sanitary' heat.

Now skip ahead to the nomming. As I was heartily devouring my sammich, my sworn took a single bite of hers, and immediately from her mouth produced a small piece of deformed, perforated plastic. Quick jump and cut to, I'm back at Subway. Here is what transpired.

I addressed the manager, a ditsy blonde who was previously entertaining her fiancee' in the backroom while the older woman - whom I have observed getting unwarranted levels of shit from this pestilent, nappy, and unprofessional 'leader' in past - did essentially everything; this is not conjecture, Subway is the only chain restaurant in town, and despite utilizing a pedophile for a spokesperson, I still patronize. As such, I have observed a consensus of evidence toward my position.

I informed the manager - and the older lady who was present (and who has always given me good customer service) - and informed them that I had a situation that needed to be resolved. I indicated the status of my sammich (devoured with quickness and satisfaction) but also indicated the sandwich (note the change in word-smithy conjugation) I had in possession. Having worked in food prep previously (which was indicated) I was aware of the following circumstances.

Being that the company requires all employees to wear gloves, the origin of the piece of glove could have originated from anywhere; it could have occurred at their distribution center, it could have occurred during the prep-work, or it could have occurred during the making of the sandwich (recall the flinch). I don't know and I don't care.

Having experience in food prep AND loss prevention, I am also aware that if I really wanted to be adverse, I could call up a lawyer and end up sitting on a 4-5 figure settlement.

I did NOT want to do that (I AM lazy in some contexts). For one, I appreciate that probability alone dictates that 'something' is BOUND to happen 'sometime', no matter how on-the-ball the facility may be. For two (this went unspoken) I realize that the overall contributing factor in the situation was in fact the manager herself, and that any poo I asserted would be redirected 'downhill'.

So after indicating such, I told the manager this: I am not going to call anyone, in fact this is the last you will hear about it. Having said, here are my conditions (note, this was not a request):
1. No disciplinary action was to be taken outside a general reminder to employees and staff that extra precaution should be applied when handling food. This is not just good business, but it is also a health and safety,... opportunity.
2. Replacement of the sandwich with a sammich.

Both the older lady and the younger one were overjoyed that their butts weren't about to be set fire to, and the manager additionally refunded the price of the one sandwich, while replacing it free of charge.

NOW, given my overall critical and largely merciless methodology, why ever did I do THAT?!

I'm glad I asked!

The reason is CONTEXT.

In my local community, there are a number of individuals who are not satisfied that I have defeated them in contest. Such individuals have been more than want to slander my name and that of my sworn at leisure, entirely fallaciously.

In observance of this I have adopted the following strategies:
1. Complete (and legitimate) refutation of rumors and claims (but WITHOUT detailing the truth, except to those who ask, which so far is 0).
2. (and this one pains me) Being kind at every available opportunity. Simply put, the best way to refute that which is not true is simply to make axiomatic that the rumor is untrue. If the majority of town knows I am generally laid back and easy going (despite my online activity), then when the only people who have boo to say in objection THEMSELVES have reputations as douchebags (and this is multi-confirmed) then those douchebags will only be maligning themselves.

So, given the dynamic between the pissant and the nice older lady, given the dynamic between myself and the douchebags, given the dynamic between my emergent self and the social preconceptions WRT me, I opted to act in the best interest of ALL involved. I took one for the team, asserted WHAT WOULD OCCUR, and left the rest to everyone in the periphery.

Now, I WILL be checking back on the older lady, and should I find that my conditions have NOT been met, I will gladly sue the piss out of them. How/why?

Subway employs CCTV audio/video. I can subpoena that in court, and in the event that such evidence is tampered with or 'not available' I can double-down. If not, its an open and shut civil case, like I said to the tune of 4-5 figures. I don't WANT 4-5 figures, I want to maintain my integrity, but if my conditions have not been met then my integrity will depend on setting posteriors on fire. If my conditions are/have been, there is no issue.

In this particular case, the older woman is struggling with an excessive workload compared to that of her pissant (but bubbly and outgoing and not to mention 'not unattractive' so I'm sure corporate LOVES her), and having been in a comparable position I can identify. As indicated, if I had piled on the poo, it would have been deflected toward the individual who - legitimately - was the most probable cause but IN CONTEXT made an understandable error which - aside from making her aware of - I have no issue. So to save the older woman undue firing (as I anticipate would have occurred) and to avoid the almost pyrrhic(sp) victory of holding the pissant's ass to the fire (and watching her weasel her way out of it) I acted in a manner that accomplishes ALL objectives.

The manager got to save face, the older lady got a pass, my sworn got a free sammich, I get to maintain my integrity without too much effort, and (my favorite part) I get to check in on them to make sure they're in compliance.

You see now? They're my bitches! MUHUAHAHAHA! I can say bitches here right?

No seriously, I have now presented everyone (me aside) with an opportunity. Should they take advantage (in a conducive context) then water under the bridge. Should they take advantage in a NON-conducive context, then they will have the opportunity to readdress the lack of conducivity of that decision at a later time.

^_^
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Shezbeth »

Two days ago I crashed my company's Safety Committee meeting. I'll be calling it 'today', but this was Wed the 20th.

I used to be on the Safety Committee, but I found a replacement and quit about 3 months ago. The problem was that everyone on the committee wanted to use it as an excuse to get an extra half hour of overtime, eat the free donuts, and spend the whole time cross-talking and bullshitting. It was like student council all over again.

But today I had an agenda to advance. Today, the new 'District Safety Coordinator' was going to make his way to our plant. When I arrived, I was treated to precisely what I expected I would be treated to; a well dressed corporate guy with his arms tightly across his chest, while everyone tried to work into their bullshit 'natural' conversation any quip or comment they could about "how much of a good worker they are"; I'm not one to besmirch self-promotion, but one MUST have a sense of elegance, shame (yes!), and decorum else one is both painfully transparent and a bit of a tool.

So eventually the tools stopped rattling around in the drawer and the meeting started off with introductions. Again, more of the same sychophatery, as each person in turn gave robotic, strangely specific answers and otherwise affected the air of a person who was trying WAY too hard to make a good impression to the corporate guy; it was like watching grade-schoolers try to talk to girls.

I was there EXPRESSLY to make a good impression, but in an entirely different manner.

So, when it got around to me, rather than engaging in an unnecessarily long and precise description of what jobs/tasks I perform (assuming he would know what the F I was talking about anyway!) I simply told him "I make the pilers cry".

He laughed immediately, while everyone else laughed nervously. Without waiting I followed up with "You probably won't see me often. I'm not on the committee, but I stop in any time there's an opportunity or something needs fixing". Quick background - in their student-council-esque manner, I deduced that I could achieve the same objectives (personal promotion, development, rapport, etc.) by making semi-regular cameos rather than maintaining the committee position. This allows me the freedom to show up - or NOT show up - as I feel is appropriate/desired.

So anyway, the introductions continued, but in the aftermath of my introduction, the guy was smiling. During his introduction he said "I was,... invited to"; this is important, because it alludes to a fact I'm going to hit on later.

This guy doesn't likely give an F about person #27 or job responsibilities #81-105. He's a corporate guy, and a safety one to boot. He's here for one reason only; its his JOB. He doesn't want to shmooze, he doesn't want to wax idiotic, he just wants to come in, write some shit down to report, and GTFO.

So! As soon as the meeting was opened up for new business, I pop out of my seat without any hesitation. I pause JUST a moment (long enough for attention to shift but not long enough for anyone to interject):

"I move that the safety committee appoint a 3-person team to investigate the feasibility of a 15-minute pre-work stretching program. The team would consist of a coordinator, researcher, and publicist. The publicist will be responsible for promoting the idea amongst the general employee base, the researcher will compile statistics and media, and the coordinator will present the findings at the next safety committee meeting."

It was obvious that I had rehearsed that bit, but the delivery was smooth.

I then pulled out last year's record-able injury report which indicates that muscle/tendon/ligament injury occurred in ALL 28 of the previous year's injuries. I then went into how some industrial companies are reporting as much as a 70% decrease in soft-tissue injuries since instituting a stretching program. I then anecdoted about how in China, Japan, and many other countries there are entire-employee mandatory stretching periods.

I went into how the small fiduciary incentive might help to incentivize the employee population, both literally and by indicating that the company IS willing to invest in ppl's health and well being but doesn't want to throw money away. I commented on how a company of comparable size (about 75%) achieved 780-ish days without a recordable accident between 2008 and 2011, so while "0 injuries" seems ludicrous, its entirely possible with an effective strategy.

I concluded by stating that no matter how I personally slice it, this strikes me as a win/win proposition for all participants, and at the very least bears consideration for authorization.

If you haven't caught the Dark Employ discussion, this is entirely a ploy on my part.

The overall goal is to promote myself. I do this by observing the manner in which the company (the people) are not being emergent or responsible, and devising a plan to coerce/incentivize/allow those who have been less emergent to be more emergent. I personally don't care if they embrace the idea - I have a plan for either extreme - all I am fixated on is doing my best at doing my best.

As far as the exchange with SafetyCo and Co., I'm giving myself top marks. The objective of standing out with a degree of authority, distinction, and shrewd calculation was achieved phenomenally. The agenda of making a formal presentation for corporate WHILE being flanked by a bunch of sycophants (hey, it was their bad) was successful. I now have corporate authorization to proceed with my designs, and more importantly I have their attention.

Optional Objectives: 3 Donuts Acquired. ^_^

P.S. After my proposal, I thanked everyone for their time and then LEFT. For one, the safety meeting runs a 1/2 hour into my shift and I didn't have authorization to be away from my machine, but MORE importantly, I evidenced that "I'm here on business, my business is concluded so now onward to more business" FAR better than any sycophantic "Oh, when I'm not busy I grab the nearest broom!" comments that were so painfully thrown about earlier. I didn't witness it, but I would guess he had another 45 minutes of listening to school-kids trying to please the teacher.
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Shezbeth »

There is an old associate of mine - 'Biscuit' was his moniker - who has a lovely wife. One day I challenged her - who was/is an excellent artist - to paint the most magnificent sunset. She did, and she responded to the challenge in a most curious manner which took on an intriguing level of depth most recently.

The painting was a swath of color, more abstract than definite. Lighter colors could as easily have been leafy branches, as they could have been tall grass; it was pleasantly rorschach. The curious thing was, the whole thing was framed by a white manifold, as though viewed through a 9x9 window.

The house my sworn, our kitties, and I moved into recently has a 9x9 window on the back door.
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Pris »

Shezbeth wrote:Today I had a trip to Subway, on behalf of myself and my sworn companion.

We both purchased 1' meatball subs, cuz they're tasty; its like spaghetti except with bread instead of noodo.

Mine was delicious; it was everything I expected, and I ate the whole thing.... see conversation above.

Pris, I edited the long quotes, they become distracting when unnecessarily repeated. It is easy for you to do yourself when answering a long post, just grab the first lines or so and delete the rest if you wish to direct the reader to post. Thanks, christine
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Shezbeth »

Sod off with that noise, the first story is FULL of empathy, else the situation would have gone MUCH worse for the parties involved.

Y'all need to wake the fuck up; everybody is different, and some people express themselves differently. Sorry I don't buy into everyone's wishy-washy, "I don't need to do/be better, I'm perfectly happy (stagnating) as I am", namaste/etc., crap.

So what's it gonna be? Is anyone ELSE going to actually look at themselves and realize the preponderance of non-conducive ideologies and convictions that run rampant throughout social interactions and exchanges? Or, is there going to be more of the same; dismissals without analysis (ignorance), confirmation bias, appeals to (everything) until the cows come home,....

<Shezbeth shrugs>

Anything to avoid that harsh realization right?
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Pris »

Shezbeth wrote:Sod off with that noise, the first story is FULL of empathy, else the situation would have gone MUCH worse for the parties involved.

Y'all need to wake the fuck up; everybody is different, and some people express themselves differently. Sorry I don't buy into everyone's wishy-washy, "I don't need to do/be better, I'm perfectly happy (stagnating) as I am", namaste/etc., crap.

So what's it gonna be? Is anyone ELSE going to actually look at themselves and realize the preponderance of non-conducive ideologies and convictions that run rampant throughout social interactions and exchanges? Or, is there going to be more of the same; dismissals without analysis (ignorance), confirmation bias, appeals to (everything) until the cows come home,....

<Shezbeth shrugs>

Anything to avoid that harsh realization right?
What makes you think I meant that as an insult, my dear Shezbeth? You presume too much. I meant it 'tongue in cheek' (more or less). Didn't you notice that I thumbed up your comments -- both of them (for once lol)? I don't necessarily agree with you on everything, but I DO agree that I'm also not into everyone's wishy-washy-ness and 'have a nice day with a helping of namaste' on top. Nope.
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Shezbeth »

Pardon me for misinterpreting your thoroughly iterated position. I should have been more receptive to the little lined-paper note you included and the pages of implicit meaning. >_<`

Something does not have to be meant as an insult in order to be insulting, and a 'thumbs up' does not entitle one to avoid scrutiny.
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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Naga_Fireball »

I wouldn't mind reading more Nin tales.
However please honor my humble request,
There ought to be no quotes longer than 3 paragraphs.

Sorry Pris but the post of yours that quoted two Shezbeth posts was so LARGE that it was easy to miss Shezbeths reply.

Most forums limit the size of quotes or end up asking frequent quoters to cut back. It's not fair tothe OP to inter his replies in huge quotes.

Hope that helps & doesnt offend. My screen is 4" or so tall which is why I ask.
Brotherhood falls asunder at the touch of fire!
He finds his fellow guilty of a skin
Not coloured like his own, and having power
To enforce the wrong, for such a worthy cause
Dooms and devotes him as his lawful prey.
~William Cowper

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Re: Tales of teh Zonbi Nin

Post by Pris »

Naga_Fireball wrote:I wouldn't mind reading more Nin tales.
However please honor my humble request,
There ought to be no quotes longer than 3 paragraphs.

Sorry Pris but the post of yours that quoted two Shezbeth posts was so LARGE that it was easy to miss Shezbeths reply.

Most forums limit the size of quotes or end up asking frequent quoters to cut back. It's not fair tothe OP to inter his replies in huge quotes.

Hope that helps & doesnt offend. My screen is 4" or so tall which is why I ask.
Nope, not offended at all. Thanks, Naga-Fireball. Hehe I got into trouble for reposting such long quotes. But, I had a reason. It was supposed to be a light-hearted joke.

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