A stab in the dark ...

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Christine
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A stab in the dark ...

Post by Christine »

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The dark waters beckon, let me jump in.

But before I do I must bring to light as witness some serious caveats. I have hesitated to share my tale for several reasons that are the conclusion of a serious analysis of observable behaviors in human beings.

Most people don’t read carefully and they hardly ever reflect on the totality of what they read; the overall message, (that could be the fault of the writer too, of course.) Many tend to pick out key phrases to either agree with or as the case may be disagree with, then use those pieces to challenge the writer, at times valuable, often not. This also holds true for the spoken language in any given discourse. Thankfully there are exceptions to this rule, there are deep listeners, those who ponder.

Disclosure; she has been guilty of the above, she still catches moments when she drifts to old habits … though more often than not she will re-read with focused attention or if truly uninterested desist all together. She can do better still.

The number two reason, the most disagreeable for myself, the writer as it is potentially damaging, is the large degree the reader or listener unconsciously starts projecting of his/ her reality into the story. There are four main reasons for this that I can detect.

One is that what is being said is outside of the readers experiential data, there are too many gaps and so the reader injects something from their known reality to fill in. In many cases this will so completely distort the original intent as to render the writer's message null and void.

Another reason is that the subject matter provokes discomfort, the reader will recall a similar or painful incident he has suffered, so he will defend himself by using the same justifications, arguments, explanations or whatever that he/ she used to diffuse the energy in their own experience. This distorts the intent and leaves the writer unsatisfied.

She feels she can do better with practice. She honestly doesn’t think most people are aware of just how unconscious and reactive their responses can be. She listens to herself meticulously.

A third and sadly common filter is that many people don’t really care about you, they act like they do but in some back recess of their mind they are gauging how they can benefit and or debunk your story in some way.

This she knows too because she has caught herself in such a mind set. It is easy for her to say now because this habitual and barely detectable response is now disengaged. She detects it in others, no judgment, just is.

The fourth caveat the most serious, some people will use her words against her. She has learned and is still learning to let go of caring, seeing how they hurt themselves if they do.

This she has seldom done, when she did she learned the hard way.

~~~End of caveats~~~
Of necessity this telling will not follow a straight line, because there is none. A dream sequence shortly before she was ejected from her life in the Mandato in Mexico.

She can barely wake up, the air around her is hot, stuck to her skin, the pressure on her body abnormal, she can’t move, so she surrenders back to the space she struggled to wake from. She is floating upright in a dark ocean, it is a pitch dark night and she is absolutely and terrifyingly alone. She can’t see anything. Terror evaporates but fear lingers until somehow she relaxes enough to let go. Then she senses without seeing, that Alejandro, his wife and those she calls family, her brothers and sisters are on a cliff edge looking down. She tries to call out, no sound escapes, only a drenched darkness. Straining to be heard, will someone rescue her, she knows they see her. No movement, an awareness that they are laughing… soundless laughter and she awakes.

I am fortunate, actually I am fortunate beyond the statistics of normal luck. A sidewalk gypsy fortune teller told me I have a lucky face. This is something I ponder often. Even my misfortunes and apparent mistakes have been the harbingers of good fortune. Perhaps in disclosing what I endeavor to share it will become evident as the reason this is so, perhaps not.

My years in the Mandato were exhilarating, trying, tiring, and frightening, a potent mix. Once the ride started it was like being on an endless toboggan with twists and blind turns, all I could do was try and keep my balance.

She is clearly seeing a similarity with the present moments Now.

If you asked me if I would change anything, I would say no. Just as in my dream I am aware that there is a part of me that has always known, a part that isn’t afraid, a part that can see in the dark and is intimately a full participant in the design my life has taken. Albeit an unconscious participant becoming conscious in good measure.

I have been eluding to my story through all of my writings for some time now, not but a hand full of dear friends are able to hear. And this we share, I too have been privileged to their stories, together we are a greater whole.

This is a great challenge for me to confront, this telling.

So lets start with layers, everything peels away in layers, a route to Self knowledge. Who am I? The question that opened Pandora’s box.

When I entered the Mandato, I was happy, financially well off, recently divorced and felt freer than I had in years. Basically I was full to overflowing and literally bubbling with energy, enthusiastic and affirmative of my life.

There was a layer though, just about to get ripped off.

My essential self wasn’t satisfied, it knew there was more than the surface I had learned to skim on so easily now. (Brief aside, nothing was actually easy, the ease felt was after years of struggle.) I wanted to Know … so finding this secretive group with such a mysterious ambiance was frankly irresistible. I entered as I do with most things, full force.

Almost immediately the supranormal world started showing its underside. Not new to me, I had already had several encounters with the flip side.

She sits crouched, alert as awareness extends. Feels her ears move ever so silently, tail twitches, appendages extend and then retract. One eye views in, one eye looks out, the third pure awareness. Something moves in the dark, she waits.


to be continued…
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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Cristian »

Deep and far reaching this post...

Feel like writing myself now :)

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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by norman »

Pointed caveats aside, I'm still listening.

Experiential data sets aside, I'm still smiling.

I wish you knew what a great story teller you are. I really don't mind a good narrative when it's humble and open.

A great idea, please keep writing.......
"The tyranny of a prince in an oligarchy is not so dangerous to the public welfare as the apathy of a citizen in a democracy." -- Charles de Montesquieu

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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Pluto's Child »

I haven't read this but I just had to say....................only joking, I did read it & very much enjoyed it, maybe one has to have had a certain set of experiences & reached a certain stage in life with your brain still working to fully appreciate such things ?

"I am fortunate, actually I am fortunate beyond the statistics of normal luck" Lucks not got anything to do with it IMO, not when you are doing such things in that manner, you are under "higher laws" by virtue of really living & getting the things you are being shown & put through, turning negatives to positives is proof alone of that Image

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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Phil »

?QUE ES "MANDATO"? for those of not fluent in espanol
What is the purpose of your presence?

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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Christine »

Thanks for the question Phil, always good to have a direction indicated.

Mandato means mandate as in The Mandate.

I will present a brief synopsis of the concepts, some of it will find its way into my story but it may be helpful to lay out a bit about the Mandato here.

It was never clarified how long the Mandato existed or from where or who it originated. I do know there was a small group in Mexico City and that the "teachings" were being preserved. When Alejandro entered the "order" it was activated to its greater purpose.

Here are a few of the axiomatic precepts of the Mandato:
  • Ego diedad is the description of our essence, divine ego.
    We were known as "los pequeños", the small ones.
    No buscas lo grande por lo pequeño es. (Don't look for the grand, it is found in the small.)
    Life as we experience it is a fantasy, a reflection only.
    We all have tails, our past lives that are ever present until we "assume" them.
    Time is unfolding like a great clockwork.
    All life in our galaxy is evolving toward completion and perfection.
    Life is "governed" by twelve Konceptos, (Grand Concepts that our experience is integrated with, more on these later.)
    There were five "failed" humanities before ours.
    The Greeks and Greek mythology were stressed.
    All the planets have regents, The sun was Och, the moon Smyrna ... can't remember the rest right now.
    The entities involved were Jehovah, Yeshua-Jesus-Arros, Adonai, Luxbel (Lucifer, or Hermano L) who was seen as the adversary.
    The feminine has more responsibility.
    Repeated often was, "A man who knows woman has the keys to the Universe."
What the "teachings" involved:
  • Close personal observation, we were constantly reminded to observe our presence in the world to the smallest act, such as putting our chair back in place when getting up from a table, shoes were removed before entering the house, cleanliness was observed in all acts, etc.
    Tending ones own garden was a constant reminder.
    We were conversely encouraged to express, a lot of energetic pressure was brought to bear on our lesser qualities.
    We all were known to have a dark side.
    Humility was a necessary quality, missing from most.
    We were said to be the tip of the spear, basically going against the flow of mass consciousness.
    The Führer was honored as a great avenging being who came here to stop the takeover by the Illuminati NWO.
    The outcome of WWII was considered a great human tragedy.
She knows that she was sworn to never reveal any of this and yet chooses to do so, primarily because the Truth is surfacing and there is nothing to hide in any of these concepts, because she knows that by doing so she is also stepping toward a greater whole and freedom. She knows to reveal is to heal. She continues to risk much for freedom, to stand in her own truth. She is happy that much of what she learned is bearing fruit.
Phil wrote:?QUE ES "MANDATO"? for those of not fluent in espanol
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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Christine »

Two additions just remembered.

What we were "doing" was an Obra - A Work
No doubt was key.
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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Pluto's Child »

It was never clarified how long the Mandato existed or from where or who it originated. I do know there was a small group in Mexico City and that the "teachings" were being preserved.
With the exception of the Hitler bit it sounds very reminiscent of the "Gnostic movement" & it's teachings started by Samael Aun Weor, which by an odd coincidence also started in Mexico City.

Quite a few of the people who passed through that organisation went & founded their own "schools" all over the world, some quite sincere & some out & out scoundrels.

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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Christine »

Thank you for this clue, I have heard the name before and am now reading.

Um, she ponders.

Also we were directed in a rather constant manner to determine who was Mary Magdalene.
Pluto's Child wrote:
It was never clarified how long the Mandato existed or from where or who it originated. I do know there was a small group in Mexico City and that the "teachings" were being preserved.
With the exception of the Hitler bit it sounds very reminiscent of the "Gnostic movement" & it's teachings started by Samael Aun Weor, which by an odd coincidence also started in Mexico City.

Quite a few of the people who passed through that organisation went & founded their own "schools" all over the world, some quite sincere & some out & out scoundrels.
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Re: A stab in the dark ...

Post by Pluto's Child »

Christine wrote:
Also we were directed in a rather constant manner to determine who was Mary Magdalene.
That is very interesting, in the Gnostic movement people are taught to pray to their "inner mother" above all else, who controls the kundalini, which they teach is raised through white tantric practices (sex) & that Mary M was the wife of J C.

Mary M supposedly went to France, with (Mother) Mary the place where legend says they landed is named after them Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer (Saint Marys of the Sea) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The church there is full of bizarre offerings & prayers, it's always got lots of gypsies hanging around it & has an atmosphere you could cut with a knife, I stepped through the door & had to leave...

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