Crazy making
Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 5:50 pm
I can't really find a place where this fits. So, I will start another thread, another train of thought. This is so huge, so difficult, that I'm not sure where to start. I never would have seen this as anything other than what it looks like, years ago. But this isn't years ago. This is now, this is when I can see sometimes. When I intuit sometimes. When weird shit is very, very real sometimes. When other realities, other worlds, other...I don't even know what they are...happen right inside this one. Which one is this one, which one is real? Which one to believe... And how they exist in the same space is sometimes beyond me.
Let me start with this. We are home from the hospital, my daughter still among us. We were at one local Emergency Room on Wednesday. Twice stabilized and sent home. Thursday, we went to an ER in a different town, and they admitted her. We were there for four days. So...five days in and out, in and out...you get the idea. She has a bacteria, she probably ingested it in some raw milk we got from the local dairy last week. In addition though, she contracted a virus that she will now live with. Recovery is slow.
Ok, the update is done. Now the pondering. Here's the thing. I do not know what the hell is going on. This sweet girl is so freaking sick. When we went to the ER the very first time, she was talking nonsense. Jibberish. Babble. Kind of like hallucinating, but I have no idea if she was seeing or hearing anything. Sure did get my attention. The first ER team said dehydration can cause this, and filled her up with fluids. (Along with getting her stabilized.)
The second trip to the ER, we were in the car, and she said to me that she felt like she was going to start not making sense again. That was an odd statement. I don't think she could have gotten dehydrated again just a few hours after having IV fluids. And sure enough, in the ER, I could see that she was somehow fading in and out of this world. Well, they gave her a drug called Ativan to help with the nausea, and next thing you know she is really making no sense. She was relaying to me that the star on the painting in the hallway was coming to life and eating all the other things in the picture. That “they” were trying to trap her so they could dissect her. That I was not her mom, that she was scared they were going to do something with me.
Here is where the splitting of worlds happened. The doctor wanted me to come out into the hall with him. Meanwhile, he sent a nurse in to assess Em for psychiatric problems. Well, that pissed me off. And actually....I had no way to explain this, but it was the spirit of the illness. Not a fucking psychiatric problem. In that very brief time...somewhere...something happened.
I rejoined Em. I looked into her soul, I listened to her words that made no sense in the 3d. Dammit, I know she was in there, I know something else had ahold of her, I know she was trying with all she had to get to me...
But that makes absolutely no sense. None. My reasoning, logical, 3d mind understands why the medical team jumped to what they did. But the “Other” of me knows that was not the issue.
---Stop---
You know what? There are those of us who have access to more than just one world...and we have to co-exist with those who do not. So then, which group is the crazy group?
More processing needed.
Let me start with this. We are home from the hospital, my daughter still among us. We were at one local Emergency Room on Wednesday. Twice stabilized and sent home. Thursday, we went to an ER in a different town, and they admitted her. We were there for four days. So...five days in and out, in and out...you get the idea. She has a bacteria, she probably ingested it in some raw milk we got from the local dairy last week. In addition though, she contracted a virus that she will now live with. Recovery is slow.
Ok, the update is done. Now the pondering. Here's the thing. I do not know what the hell is going on. This sweet girl is so freaking sick. When we went to the ER the very first time, she was talking nonsense. Jibberish. Babble. Kind of like hallucinating, but I have no idea if she was seeing or hearing anything. Sure did get my attention. The first ER team said dehydration can cause this, and filled her up with fluids. (Along with getting her stabilized.)
The second trip to the ER, we were in the car, and she said to me that she felt like she was going to start not making sense again. That was an odd statement. I don't think she could have gotten dehydrated again just a few hours after having IV fluids. And sure enough, in the ER, I could see that she was somehow fading in and out of this world. Well, they gave her a drug called Ativan to help with the nausea, and next thing you know she is really making no sense. She was relaying to me that the star on the painting in the hallway was coming to life and eating all the other things in the picture. That “they” were trying to trap her so they could dissect her. That I was not her mom, that she was scared they were going to do something with me.
Here is where the splitting of worlds happened. The doctor wanted me to come out into the hall with him. Meanwhile, he sent a nurse in to assess Em for psychiatric problems. Well, that pissed me off. And actually....I had no way to explain this, but it was the spirit of the illness. Not a fucking psychiatric problem. In that very brief time...somewhere...something happened.
I rejoined Em. I looked into her soul, I listened to her words that made no sense in the 3d. Dammit, I know she was in there, I know something else had ahold of her, I know she was trying with all she had to get to me...
But that makes absolutely no sense. None. My reasoning, logical, 3d mind understands why the medical team jumped to what they did. But the “Other” of me knows that was not the issue.
---Stop---
You know what? There are those of us who have access to more than just one world...and we have to co-exist with those who do not. So then, which group is the crazy group?
More processing needed.