Crazy making

User avatar
Blue Rising
Posts: 239
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:55 pm
Has thanked: 784 times
Been thanked: 651 times

Re: Crazy making

Post by Blue Rising »

Fred Steeves wrote:Whoa, this is all a bit more than we chatted about on Skype!
Yeah. Well..first of all, lol, I cannot imagine getting all of this into a skype chat box. But also...as I was living each moment of this, I really was just trying to handle it. Make the best decisions I could on no sleep, no rest. My mind wandering to what the hell could be causing this, what I could do... So... I couldn't really express what was going on, as I was walking through it. Odd. No one close enough to touch in the physical even knew the full extent. Bits and pieces went to all the concerned parties. But...there was sort of...too much.

Anyway, it is going to take me a good minute to respond to your conversation with the respect it deserves. So I just wanted to say thank you, acknowledge your presence, let you know I appreciate it (and your friendship) very much...and I will ponder your thoughts...and I will get back with some of my thoughts when I can.

As of now, sick people beckon. Lol

Hugs,
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
User avatar
Spiritwind
Posts: 1644
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 4:24 pm
Location: Inland NW, U.S.
Has thanked: 2478 times
Been thanked: 2935 times

Re: Crazy making

Post by Spiritwind »

I am knee deep in busyness mode and general weirdness myself these days, but just had to pop in long enough to say I can definitely appreciate all that has been said here. I find this straddling different realities a very strange thing, yet, as you say, very real this inner view that sees things in a much different way than it used to. I will write more when I have time, but just wanted you to know my love and energetic support are there for you Blue Rising. I find myself shaking my head side to side a lot. If I am struggling to come to terms with my growing new understanding of our world, our reality, I can't imagine trying to explain it to someone who is not having a similar experience. We are still the minority, although I feel that will eventually change. And the medical establishment of today is full of people who have no inkling of these other realities, so there is definitely a clashing of world's so to speak. How do we create the bridge? I don't have a clear answer yet. Patience is a virtue. Gotta go now.
I see your love shining out from my furry friends faces, when I look into their eyes. I see you in the flower’s smile, the rainbow, and the wind in the trees....
User avatar
Blue Rising
Posts: 239
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:55 pm
Has thanked: 784 times
Been thanked: 651 times

Re: Crazy making

Post by Blue Rising »

Okay, Fred. Here is a first crack at addressing some stuff you brought up. Or hell, the way I get sidetracked maybe you didn't. Lol
Fred Steeves wrote:You know in my experience doctors do a lot of good, in most cases, but one missing thing from their years of training is thinking outside the box.
Yep, agreed. Then add this other layer, whatever you want to call it. This doctor said “psychiatric” and I looked at him with shock...and disbelief...and horror...and part of me wanted to grab him by the shoulders, give him a good shake and yell, “no, you idiot! Can you not see?! This is that entity, the identity which is the illness itself. Or this is Em, fading into an alternate world...why can you not SEE?”

There lies the crux of one of my biggest issues this week. For who would be the one with the appearance of a psychiatric illness then? And another offshoot to this issue is this: The largest population of people (in my area, but mostly everywhere) looks at spirit connections of any kind as psychiatric illness, and this group has the authority to cause trouble for me in my own home with my own children and grandchildren...the authority to put that ever watchful eye on us... well shit. So, who do I talk to then? Who do I check my own sanity with?

When I wanted to open my mouth and yell at this man, nothing could come out. I couldn't let it, now could I? In this instance, that brought up some fear, I think. If that doctor had gone past my comfort zone, and I had been labeled the nutcase, and I had needed to stand opposed to the medical establishment, then what?

Now. At hospital number 2, I had a doctor who was living in a compatible world to mine. He was from India. When I mentioned bringing Em some eucalyptus oil to help her breathe at night (the air quality in a hospital is....yuck)...he replied, “Oh, yes. That's good stuff!” He also added that if I wanted to be helpful, I could bring some lime essential oil because it is good for nausea. And when we discussed which medication Em needed, he was ultra conservative. Dr U told Em that he wanted to give as little medication as possible, as every medication hurts the body. He was an Angel, I tell you.

So, I look at these two environments. And my goodness, it was like two different planets. Which brings me to another of the issues causing me such a problem. How in the hell do these worlds co-exist? One building full of dark, closed minded, gray and muddy looking shitty energies....and the other building filled with these...idk...lights...not perfect, individuals have issues after all...but every single human being in that building, from walking in to walking out, treated Em with compassion. I was shocked. And these two buildings are 15-20 minutes away from each other.

How in the hell is this possible? I swear, I feel like I'm walking into and out of and between and amongst different fucking worlds. And that's in addition to the fact that I am walking in different worlds.

Holy Mother of god, no wonder I feel like I'm crazy. Maybe I'm the crazy one...
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
User avatar
Blue Rising
Posts: 239
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:55 pm
Has thanked: 784 times
Been thanked: 651 times

Re: Crazy making

Post by Blue Rising »

Spiritwind wrote:I am knee deep in busyness mode and general weirdness myself these days, but just had to pop in long enough to say I can definitely appreciate all that has been said here. I find this straddling different realities a very strange thing, yet, as you say, very real this inner view that sees things in a much different way than it used to. I will write more when I have time, but just wanted you to know my love and energetic support are there for you Blue Rising. I find myself shaking my head side to side a lot. If I am struggling to come to terms with my growing new understanding of our world, our reality, I can't imagine trying to explain it to someone who is not having a similar experience. We are still the minority, although I feel that will eventually change. And the medical establishment of today is full of people who have no inkling of these other realities, so there is definitely a clashing of world's so to speak. How do we create the bridge? I don't have a clear answer yet. Patience is a virtue. Gotta go now.
Thank you. (I sure do need a heart smilie thingy...)

It's really something. Yes, the feeling of clashing. Bumping up against all these different worlds, the belief systems, they just aren't even close to one another. I am dumbfounded a lot of the time lately. I can't quite make sense of the shared reality and the consciousness that I have access to for some damned reason...I can't quite make sense of the psyche...the weird stuff, the things I see. It does make my head spin. And I do not understand it. Both true statements. You may be a step ahead of me if you are thinking of creating a bridge...and more power to you, sweetie. I'm still over here scratching my head. I have to find a comfort level, I have to find an understanding...before I can help with the bridge.

Unless just by existing I am helping with that. Who knows....

Anyway, hugs your way...how's our Miss Jinjer? Any beautiful little ones yet? ;)
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
User avatar
Fred Steeves
Posts: 245
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 8:54 pm
Location: USA
Has thanked: 739 times
Been thanked: 536 times
Contact:

Re: Crazy making

Post by Fred Steeves »

Blue Rising wrote: I swear, I feel like I'm walking into and out of and between and amongst different fucking worlds. And that's in addition to the fact that I am walking in different worlds.
Well, from my vantage point challenges have made you more and more agile at straddling both of these worlds in the last couple years. Hell you really haven't had much choice in the matter, either drown or learn to swim so to speak.

You'll be fine. This current challenge will serve to encourage you to up your game yet another notch or two on your path to mastery, hindsight will prove it.

I see you.
The unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates
User avatar
Blue Rising
Posts: 239
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:55 pm
Has thanked: 784 times
Been thanked: 651 times

Re: Crazy making

Post by Blue Rising »

Fred Steeves wrote:I see you.
Thanks, Fred. That touches me. You are such a good friend.
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
User avatar
Blue Rising
Posts: 239
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:55 pm
Has thanked: 784 times
Been thanked: 651 times

Re: Crazy making

Post by Blue Rising »

Fred Steeves wrote:Remember when my friend old man KC up the mountain from us died a little over a year ago? When I was visiting him in his hospital room the last two days before he passed on, he was coming up with that same weird kind of shit. He was half Cherokee, so therefore his nurse was now the wise and experienced medicine woman. The T.V. was now a portal into a different dimension. If I were to turn a certain knob on the wall, a hidden door would appear. Etc...

(snip)

So how sick was E? She was pretty damn sick wasn't she? The reason I bring up my own little story, is because I'm thinking this sort of thing may happen sometimes when someone is so sick, that their body is in the process of shutting down. Is it the spirit of the illness, or is it the circuits in the brain starting to misfire?
Yeah, I remember. You gave him quite a gift, just sitting there with him through that. Holding space is quite the powerful thing...and there's no doubt in my mind that he felt your presence. That had to be a comfort, too.

I know what you mean. Someone starts to take their leave of this realm, and that does seem to happen. I guess...there's no way to know what they see/hear at that point. It could be they see some depth that the living but veiled do not. Maybe their individual veil thins... Maybe it really is nonsense they see, and all that matters is how they perceive it, what they believe it to be.

Yes, she was pretty damn sick. She could have been shutting down, I hope she feels better enough soon that I can talk to her about it...I'd also like to know what she remembers.

Could be energetic, some kind of spirit workings...but it could be nonsense...couldn't it? I mean, hell, will I ever know what's real? If there is a mechanism in the body, for example, that tells it to begin the shut down process when the fever reaches 105, and Em was on her way there, and so her body started shutting down....well....then nothing really out of the normal 3d existence was happening. I sure don't want to be creating something where there is nothing. This actually touches on another issue I've been having. (I did say in the beginning of this thread that I didn't know where to start :D )

How do I know? How do I know I'm not making shit up...when I am seeing something or watching it play out...but that I'm not making it up? I have talked to several people who understand exactly what I'm talking about. In the moment something is happening, I know. No doubt. Zero. But give me about 2 seconds...that changes. Why in the hell is this the nature of these experiences? And after the past couple or three years, I have people who look to me for answers (god help them :lol: ). Answers flow like water. So smoothly. Cool truth. It's wonderful. Until I question where it came from later. But what happens is...I start to wonder if I'm just making shit up. Or, sometimes right when words are coming out of my mouth, I'm listening to them with one eyebrow raised.

Ah. Self doubt. Okay...work needed here.
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
User avatar
maggie
Posts: 326
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:09 pm
Has thanked: 326 times
Been thanked: 732 times

Re: Crazy making

Post by maggie »

Blue Rising wrote: You know what? There are those of us who have access to more than just one world...and we have to co-exist with those who do not. So then, which group is the crazy group?

More processing needed.
My first thought is that when you are sent down this kind of path, it does immediately split off to a different "world". You could never expect such a series of events. This is NOT supposed to happen, that a healthy young woman become so sick "for no reason". You are separated from the day you planned at the MINIMUM. It isolates you from everyone who is blithely moving along care free in comparison. You meet a potentially dangerous (in itself) set of impositions of the "health care" system. My heart feels a drop at the very thought.

Facing such a serious illness with Em and then having to navigate the "health" system is a mission that takes just about everything you can muster. You are certainly not crazy to wonder about what the delirium meant or to find your perceptions altered by the encounter. You ARE now in a kind of "wonderland" that will leave a mark.

I was glad to read you finally encountered a hospital that had trust worthy people of sense and compassion. Institutions also have a "spirit". It was correct that Em needed as few medicines as possible. If she had a serious infection, "delirium" is a possibility and whatever that means, the addition of a "psychiatric" label is what IMO is CRAZY.

The expectation I hold is that she will move through this "illness" quickly and you will be supported (because being her support DEEPLY effects you) and both of you will be supported by the "care" from doctors, nurses and institutions. I insist that these kind of experiences can be a cascade of support and love that carries a healing (at SO MANY levels). Much love and good wishes from me to you and Em! Maggie
User avatar
Fred Steeves
Posts: 245
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 8:54 pm
Location: USA
Has thanked: 739 times
Been thanked: 536 times
Contact:

Re: Crazy making

Post by Fred Steeves »

Blue Rising wrote: Could be energetic, some kind of spirit workings...but it could be nonsense...couldn't it? I mean, hell, will I ever know what's real? If there is a mechanism in the body, for example, that tells it to begin the shut down process when the fever reaches 105, and Em was on her way there, and so her body started shutting down....well....then nothing really out of the normal 3d existence was happening.
Well now in this narrow sense, I have direct experience. 10-15 years ago I got super sick, finally to the point of finding a doctor to get some anti-biotics. I'll never forget waiting for them at the drug store. The line was long, they were backed up, and it took almost an hour. The last thing I needed was to even be out of bed, much less on my feet and out in public.

I could feel that even that slight energy drain was making me worse and worse as I waited, and I was observing myself beginning to get delirious. I made the mile drive home, poured into bed, and my worried wife stuck the thermometer in my mouth. 104 degrees, and we both freaked out! She called the emergency room to ask what we should do, and that's when we learned that Tylenol is a fever reducer. If that didn't work and it reached 105, the next move was to plop me into a bath tub full of ice water, and I was fully prepared to do it. Fortunately however the Tylenol worked, and a couple hours later the fever was back down to a manageable 102.

So bottom line is I've been at that breaking point where the brain may start to fry, and although I was certainly in a delirious state, I could still have some wits and aid in my own care. So I don't know where the weird shit begins (or may begin), maybe it has to go on for more than a couple of hours? All I know is that it didn't happen to me, and I had already been quite ill for a few days.
Blue Rising wrote: I sure don't want to be creating something where there is nothing. This actually touches on another issue I've been having. (I did say in the beginning of this thread that I didn't know where to start :D )
That's right, you did say that. :)
Blue Rising wrote:How do I know? How do I know I'm not making shit up...when I am seeing something or watching it play out...but that I'm not making it up? I have talked to several people who understand exactly what I'm talking about. In the moment something is happening, I know. No doubt. Zero. But give me about 2 seconds...that changes.
I know you're not making shit up, funny how we need little reminders on that every now and zen. [/quote]
Blue Rising wrote: Why in the hell is this the nature of these experiences?
That's a good question. I forget whether I ever told you this one or not. It was right in the time when I knew my membership at The Project was likely soon to be no more, and my life was just turned up side down for a spell. A tremendous night time thunderstorm came rolling through, and on a whim I grabbed a beer for each hand and went out like a mad man in the front yard to be with it.

That was the night I discovered that storms are some kind of actual beings, that they have an amazing but far different intelligence than us, and as I stood luxuriating in the driving rain, I felt like it had been sent just for me. But the high strangeness was about to undo itself as the rain eventually let up, and the storm moved on and turned into a dazzling lightning display.

It soon slowly dawned on me that the lighting and myself were on the same wavelength, we somehow understood each other, and it turned into a little game as proof it was real. Each time a doubt crossed my mind, a flash would happen. But I still doubted, so to prove this phenomena a mere series of coincidences I began a new game of monkey see monkey do.

The intensity was ebbing by this point, so I was going to decide when the lightning flashed. And sure as shit, every time I would think "Now", that big anvil of the now distant storm would light up. And before I knew it, the back and forth game had turned into a conversation. I don't know what was said as it was all at an energetic level, but in hindsight it was a simple introduction.

So the point of this story is not to steal your thunder (ha ha), but maybe more to invite you to challenge your weird shit for proof as well. I know you know it's real, but yet it's already been established that we need little reminders, right? Go on, challenge yourself. If you're crazy you damn well want to know about it, don't you. ;)

Find a way.
The unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates
User avatar
Christine
Site Admin
Posts: 2520
Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:29 pm
Has thanked: 4419 times
Been thanked: 4703 times
Contact:

Re: Crazy making

Post by Christine »

The Thunder Beings played here all night long as we sat with a glass of wine on the outside step we reveled in their display.
Thank you Fred and Blue and all of you.

Image
Image
The journey, the challenge is to step into the
projection room and stop being lost in the script.
Post Reply

Return to “The Voice of 1”