Journey Home
Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 9:16 pm
In thinking about the thought prison that was constructed for us, I thought about the ideas of reincarnation, karma, and original sin. I remember thinking many years ago that, as a spiritual seeker since I began to formulate thoughts here, I would have to find someone else who knew the answers to find the truth, and that I would surely have to come back many times to make the necessary improvements to become truly more enlightened. I now believe that what I used to believe is incorrect.
I now see that as a thought process pattern, it did eventually lead to greater understanding, but was in reality fundamentally false. Because I believed I was fundamentally flawed, I felt the need to take action to fix myself. And in reality, I did have a great deal to face and heal, but the answers never were outside of myself. It has taken brutal self honesty to make any headway, because what I realized was ultimately the problem, is that I had held onto every trauma I had ever experienced, in this life and many others. I now even tend to think that all of these separate lives may have occurred because we were originally fragmented into many pieces through trauma based technologies, so as to extract as much of our potential life force energy as possible, making it next to impossible to reassemble all the pieces and reintegrate ourselves.
I also now believe that I do not need to consciously re-experience every little detail of all that has occurred, the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, to heal the fragmented pieces of myself. As I have been blessed to be able to reassemble enough of myself to get at least a glimmer of understanding, it seems I have established enough of a reconnection to my true self, and the source of all that is, beyond this reality that we are now all experience, that I can now consciously work in alignment with the divine forces of creation to transmute all that no longer serves my higher good, as I make the journey home. And home to me is not a destination or an end or beginning, it is a state of being wherein all potential is made available to be realized in a more conscious fashion aligned with my true ideals and values. No longer tethered to a false reality, that while maybe providing a great classroom for self understanding of all that I am not, is not someplace I want to stay forever to be fodder for someone else's reality.
I also want to say something about my underlying approach to life since childhood. I had a strange experience when I was about 6 years old. I could describe the experience but I still can't claim to know what the true meaning was. But I can tell you the impact it has had on my entire life. I knew then that there were forces much greater than our conscious selves that were interacting with this world and the life forms here. Since I was raised in a very religious environment, I was familiar with the idea that there were forces working to assist us, as well as forces working against our higher good. I chose all the way back then to make a conscious effort to align myself in the unseen world with forces that were working to assist us in achieving a state of true freedom. I knew that it had to start with me. Even though I operated from within this matrix and in general was blind to much of the larger reality that surrounds us, I knew that this would lead to where I wanted to go and offer some protection, if indeed there was any to be had.
I do believe that energy follows thought, and that you get more of whatever you focus on. These ideas have led me to greater understanding and personal freedom, at least from within. As within, so without.
I now see that as a thought process pattern, it did eventually lead to greater understanding, but was in reality fundamentally false. Because I believed I was fundamentally flawed, I felt the need to take action to fix myself. And in reality, I did have a great deal to face and heal, but the answers never were outside of myself. It has taken brutal self honesty to make any headway, because what I realized was ultimately the problem, is that I had held onto every trauma I had ever experienced, in this life and many others. I now even tend to think that all of these separate lives may have occurred because we were originally fragmented into many pieces through trauma based technologies, so as to extract as much of our potential life force energy as possible, making it next to impossible to reassemble all the pieces and reintegrate ourselves.
I also now believe that I do not need to consciously re-experience every little detail of all that has occurred, the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, to heal the fragmented pieces of myself. As I have been blessed to be able to reassemble enough of myself to get at least a glimmer of understanding, it seems I have established enough of a reconnection to my true self, and the source of all that is, beyond this reality that we are now all experience, that I can now consciously work in alignment with the divine forces of creation to transmute all that no longer serves my higher good, as I make the journey home. And home to me is not a destination or an end or beginning, it is a state of being wherein all potential is made available to be realized in a more conscious fashion aligned with my true ideals and values. No longer tethered to a false reality, that while maybe providing a great classroom for self understanding of all that I am not, is not someplace I want to stay forever to be fodder for someone else's reality.
I also want to say something about my underlying approach to life since childhood. I had a strange experience when I was about 6 years old. I could describe the experience but I still can't claim to know what the true meaning was. But I can tell you the impact it has had on my entire life. I knew then that there were forces much greater than our conscious selves that were interacting with this world and the life forms here. Since I was raised in a very religious environment, I was familiar with the idea that there were forces working to assist us, as well as forces working against our higher good. I chose all the way back then to make a conscious effort to align myself in the unseen world with forces that were working to assist us in achieving a state of true freedom. I knew that it had to start with me. Even though I operated from within this matrix and in general was blind to much of the larger reality that surrounds us, I knew that this would lead to where I wanted to go and offer some protection, if indeed there was any to be had.
I do believe that energy follows thought, and that you get more of whatever you focus on. These ideas have led me to greater understanding and personal freedom, at least from within. As within, so without.