Thoughts, thoughts, too many thoughts...

[Spiritwind]

Haven’t seriously sat down to write in quite some time. Been processing many things on many levels, and sometimes it helps to just go within, and spend time with the self. So much is directed and pulled outwards, look at this, look at that. And it’s beginning to feel like I’m sitting in the eye of a big storm, when I’m not being bandied about. Much change is on the horizon.

One thing that has been niggling on my consciousness, is the multidimensionality of things. I’m becoming more and more aware of myself operating on numerous different levels simultaneously. And definitely the pot is being seriously stirred lately, affecting all life, though many still seem blissfully unaware. Not really blissfully, though, as even my daughter, when I talk to her, is willfully shutting the outside world out. What will happen to these people who are trying to protect themselves from the anxiety that is really still there, just under the surface, can no longer be ignored. It’s palpable, but still they shove it down. Eventually, action is going to be required. What action, I cannot say, as it will be different for everyone. Some seem as though they are here just as props in a movie, a nameless sea of moving bodies, but almost as if they are not really here. Strange, strange, this newly dawning awareness of what’s really unfolding around us. I’m in the middle of it, but keep trying to connect to the eagle in me, who flies high overhead with x-ray vision, and can see what I can’t see from ground level.

On a personal level my health has been bumped to the front for my attention, and I see I still have much to learn, as well as unlearn. I’m gaining on it at the moment, but truly, I am my own worst enemy. Much more to say there, but for another time. The big news, for me anyway, is a possible move to another state. It’s looking more and more viable, and I will have much more of a feel for what is to come after this next week. Many things have led up to this point, which I’m sure I’ll write more about later. I really just wanted to start the ball rolling, and get some of my thoughts down while they are still fresh in the mind.

I have also been reviewing what many of us are now coming to understand about our real history, as opposed to the lies we’ve been fed since birth. I’ve started re-reading the Oera Linda material and listening to some videos with Cal Washington. This all synchs nicely with my thoughts about freedom, what it really means, how we lost it, and how to achieve it again. I’m going to go ahead and post this for now, so I don’t get bogged down with how much has transpired since last I wrote and posted. It’s been a wild ride....

Redemption Song by Bob Marley keeps coming to mind....

Old pirates, yes, they rob I
Sold I to the merchant ships
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit
But my hand was made strong
By the hand of the Almighty
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever have
Redemption songs
Redemption songs

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
Have no fear for atomic energy
'Cause none of them can stop the time
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it's just a part of it
We've got to fulfill the book

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever have
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Redemption songs

[Spiritwind]

I haven’t written anything for the forum in a long time. Many reasons, but primarily among them is the ongoing health challenges I have been dealing with. But here we are at the end of yet another year of madness, and I feel the need to reflect. Actually, been doing a lot of that lately, maybe even more than usual. As I move through the various phases of what is going on in my body, trying to trouble shoot and treat, I find myself experiencing some fairly topsy turvy emotions. The stage was set for where I am now a long time ago.

One of the things that keep coming up for me is the way mainstream medicine has morphed into something barely recognizable anymore. In fact, it’s that way with most everything. But much like my health, this storm was brewing since a long time ago, we just couldn’t see it clearly, let alone take appropriate action, or really any action at all that wasn’t simply reactionary, usually driven by fear and emotion. For instance, I have from time to time taken myself to task and tried to improve my diet (even though compared to most it wasn’t that bad I thought), but mostly only as a bandaid to stop whatever symptoms I was having rather than following through on any real life change.

And that brings me to the topic of the saying “trust the experts”! Of course, that’s only the government sponsored “experts”. As in, none of us are smart enough to do our own research and trust our own knowing. I look at pretty much all the institutions, from religion, politics, medicine, commerce, to education and science, it’s all the same shaping and mind control techniques being used, quite successfully I might add. I’m spiritually minded, but won’t do religion. I want nothing to do with our current circus going on in politics and prefer to govern myself according to my conscience. Partaking of the current medical regime is a no go for me too, even if my family does think I’m nuts. The whole structure of capitalism and wealth being any sign of success in this world makes me nauseous, as I have seen over and over again how it is used to bypass having to do what is right in the name of “it’s just business”. So much misery has been caused by those given full license to let their greed run amok.

Education is a farce now, and science has become the new religion, complete with unproven beliefs that can be substantiated with all manner of trickery. I took a statistics class and learned how they can be so easily skewed. No one ever asks, “which model did you use?”. Reminds me of when I was a kid growing up in a home who were Jehovah’s Witnesses and arguing with this kid who was a Mormon. We could each pick and choose bible scriptures to prove our points. Did that make either of us right?

So, back to my health, or lack thereof. Most of the time I’m fairly philosophical about it all. My main objective is to try and heal the monster I’ve allowed to take hold of my digestive system. I actually did make a doctors appointment, which I cancelled when I found out I needed more information first. They can do certain types of tests that can give me more substantial information about what is going on in my body, but if they don’t test for the right thing I won’t learn anything at all. What I do know is that I am among the growing numbers of people who realize I have to completely give up wheat and there’s no going back. I love wheat, my organic whole grain bread I toasted in the morning to go with my kimchi and eggs, French toast with yogurt and raspberries, my spaghetti, homemade macaroni and cheese, and especially my scones! That was truly the first hurdle was giving up this idea that it was ever going to go back to the way it was.

The other thing is I’m trying to still keep up with the farm. My husband, being 78 and pretty much as stubborn (maybe even more?) as I am, is encountering more and more limitations on what he can reasonably do. He does many things that aren’t helping (in all honesty he feels he has to), plus it’s unlikely he would have the fortitude to change the way he eats as drastically as I have. He did finally give up a few things when he actually read the labels and saw that they contained not only GMO’s etc, but bioengineered (frankenfood?) ingredients. Could be anything under that label, even insect parts. But his diet sill consists of things I gave up a long time ago. Anyway, he can’t do it all even if he is willing to try. I still have two goats to milk everyday, even though I am finally down to that magic number of 6, plus 3 more that aren’t mine.

We did not get our roof done, so still tarping it, nor did we get the bigger wood stove in this year. We have it but it has to be repaired first. So still chopping lots of tiny pieces of wood for our stove, hauling frozen buckets of water in to replace with fresh for the animals everyday. Fortunately the weather, though mostly overcast and gloomy, has not dumped an enormous amount of snow on us this winter, yet. Still have vehicle problems, and the big generator that we use to run the well just quit on us. We have a new one coming by the weekend, thankfully. It just goes on and on, but still very grateful to not be in the big city, and still be able to be surrounded by trees, wildlife, and farm animals. A big drama unfolded with us and our nearest neighbors over our dogs and theirs, but I’ll save that for another time. Suffice it to say we responded appropriately and they did not, at first. But then they saw first hand what they needed to see, and also took at least some kind of action, which is good.

I have learned a ton of new information that makes my mind feel stretched and full. My weight got down to about 85 pounds (I’m 5’2”) which is about 20 pounds less than I should be, and kind of scary to look at. For a while there I couldn’t eat at all on some days, and only had bananas and applesauce on other days. My digestion has completely broken down. I’ve discovered some new terms, SIBO and SIFO, short for small intestine bacterial overgrowth and small intestine fungal overgrowth. I now know more than I ever wanted to about leaky gut, how and why it happens. Nothing like feeling like you’ve poisoned yourself every time you eat. Food is something I’ve always had kind of a strange relationship with. I was malnourished as a child, had a fast metabolism, and could out eat everyone I knew. I love food! It’s one of the reasons for wanting to have a physical body, so I can eat and enjoy food. Life can suck, but everything’s ok if I just have tasty good food. Unfortunately “good food” has come to have a whole new meaning to me.

My emotions have been all over the place with this, from contemplating my own death and departure from this world, to being afraid to eat at all, to fearing I was going to die of starvation (already did that in probably more than one life). Intense vomiting and diarrhea for days does tend to get your attention I must say. This has actually been going on off and on since May, about 2 months after I had my bottom teeth pulled. That played a part in all this as well. My situation illustrates, rather painfully I might add, how difficult it is for humans to change the way they do things. Funny that we can be so adaptable as a species, yet so resistant to change. Now it’s got my full attention. In fact, my already busy daily routine has now had to include a rather ridiculously long list of things I have to do to try and regain my health.

I’m taking quite a few supplements to help rebuild my gut lining, try and eradicate the colony of harmful things that have taken up residence there, while trying to also create an environment that will encourage the beneficial bacteria and microbes to want to repopulate. It’s also a dance to take it all slow, and not try to do too many new things at once. Soothing the inflammation and irritation is also important, and I’m learning to eat completely different than I ever have before. I’ve been juicing carrots, apples, celery, and beets several times a week and soaking any rice, oatmeal, or split mung beans (also known as moong dal) I want to include in my diet overnight to help with digestibility. I came up with this new dish I make with bone broth, peas, rice, and kimchi. High protein and very satisfying. I’m going to be making my own kimchi and yogurt again. It just goes on and on. And even at that, there are no guarantees.

But then, even if I had went the mainstream route there are no guarantees. At least I have some control over my quality of life. I would not do chemotherapy or radiation, even if I was diagnosed with the big C, nor would I have a colonoscopy or any other invasive procedure. I can’t think of any pharmaceutical medication I would take if prescribed for me by mainstream medicine. There are so many more natural sources available. I have considered taking Ivermectin for the fungal and bacterial overgrowth problem, but for now am trying a few more natural substances. Colloidal silver is amazing, and so is oregano oil. There is this thing called die off symptoms, so sometimes it’s hard to tell if I’m getting better or worse. But at least my energy is up most days (and I can eat!). And I honestly think almost everything we have been programmed to eat has contributed to so many mental and emotional problems, such as mood swings, depression, anger, and bipolar disorder, even autism. One of my main goals is to keep my mind in the right place. We all have an expiration date, whether we want to think about it, admit it, or not. I want to exit this realm as gracefully and aware as possible. Even this is an opportunity to learn about myself, maybe get a handle on my addiction to food, and basically become an even better version of myself. In the end, being here in a human body can be seen as either a blessing or a curse.

I have had some issues with wanting to be here with what seems to be unfolding around us on the larger collective screen of life. It’s not pretty in many ways, though I do see some bright lights out there who see a different vision. I talk to many people who feel as I do. What a strange time to be “alive” and in a body. Not that I think when we leave here it all ends. In fact, there are many perks to not having a physical body that can feel hunger, pain, and suffering. But for now, I’m going to give it all I got to stay in the game. Besides, this next year is already promising to be epically weird, as if it wasn’t enough of that already! Why wait and watch on the sidelines when I can be in the thick of it, eh? And, at least I’m going to have lots of new products to offer at the Freedom Exchanges next year. So I will end this with my expression of faith in what is good and my wish for all of us to just grab each others hands, remember what it really means to be human, and keep walking each other home. In love…..

[Spiritwind]

For anyone who may want more information on what is really going on with gut issues and why I won’t go to a mainstream doctor (they simply don’t know and just want to do invasive procedures and prescribe you pharmaceuticals), this is a great 40 minute podcast with Evan Brand and Elissa Arnheim that will even give you specific information about tests you may want to do. I was also given info about where I can send these to bypass going through a so called health professional. My husband, having been a physicians assistant, can help me read and decipher this information so I can take the appropriate action. Also, a great book on the subject I was also turned on to by this nurse I know, who also incidentally spent three years, even going to a mainstream doctor at first, trying to figure out what was going on before she finally made enough progress to turn the corner back to restored health is Super Gut by Dr. William Davis. Evan Brand spent 10 years trying to figure it all out, so once you have a serious problem it will take diligence to turn it around. Nice to save time by learning from those who have already traveled the road.

https://poddtoppen.se/podcast/578597740 ... sa-arnheim

[Spiritwind]

They would like us to believe now that we do not have a spirit, and that there really is no God. I guess you could probably fool a good many into believing that, if they did not have any transcendent experiences to draw from that have informed them otherwise, like I have.

You are merely a cog in the great machine, whose design and operation have rightly been given into the hands of those deemed most “qualified” for the job. According to their rhetoric.

Gathering integrity is the arrow that will shoot us back to the stars and beyond. God’s light is a field so bright, so exquisite, so intense, that you can feel like you will be blown apart, but in a good way. I have had a taste of that. To me, it is a field of goodness, of love, a love that goes far beyond man’s petty and childish ideas of what love is.

We are, at our core, magical beings conceived from this field. I am in awe and gratitude that I am able to perceive this, even if only getting brief previews sprinkled throughout my life. It’s enough to make me want to actively, and with intention, seek out and gain more access to the pathways that will move me through this black hole of our current dilemma, so that I am propelled through it to the other side. The secret to successfully navigating this dark unknown territory we are currently traversing, besides integrity, is to gather the gold, the nuggets of truth, love, and right relationship. Rather than being enamored with our current cast of role models, from sports stars, to actors, musicians, the elite and wealthiest among us, who do not exemplify any of the above characteristics, we should seek out and start adoring and trying to emulate those who live with honor and integrity. In case you are hazy on it’s meaning the following is from the online Merriam-Webster dictionary: integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or pledge.

It seems we currently live in a world that worships the opposite of everything good and of real value. I am fortunate enough to know in real life a growing number, many of them younger and having families, who have seen through the ruse, and are, with great motivation and strong intention, crafting and creating a life that runs completely counter to what the majority of mainstream society believes is the “progressive” way to live. Not even sure what that means. Several things come to mind. For many years now I’ve had dreams on occasion where it ends in total frustration. Like, I’m in a building and can’t find my room, then can’t find my keys. Or I’m in a parking lot and can’t find my car, and then can’t find my phone to call anyone. Then one where I’m going somewhere and become lost and suddenly I’m on a dock and the dock runs out and I’m in the water. Of course, I always wake up when the frustration is starting to peak. Occasionally I’ll kind of realize it’s a dream and just sit down, wherever I am, close my eyes, and just be present. Because there is no good ending, and it’s time to opt out.

What I look for, when observing patterns and people, is the love and light shining out of their eyes. It’s not hard to train yourself to do this. The people I’ve been meeting and getting to know these last few years look far happier and less stressed than the people I generally see when I go to the city to buy supplies. These folks, in general, don’t even have televisions, home school their kids and don’t give them cell phones. Everyone participates together in daily life, from livestock care, to gardening and food preservation, to learning all kinds of useful skills from hands on daily interaction with mom and dad. Usually the father either works from home, or has an outside job, allowing mom’s to be home and engaged in teaching the kids and providing high quality nutritious foods for the family. The kids are always polite and respectful.

The stark contrast with the mainstream is quite stunning. Like, everything is opposite, and illustrates so clearly that we have been sold a lie. A gigantic lie! Sometimes more is less, and less is more. Having more toys, gadgets, and conveniences does not necessarily make you happier. Same thing with cars, houses, bank accounts. I’m not saying that doing without certain things doesn’t make life more challenging, and being patient to work it out another way isn’t sometimes frustrating. Believe me, it is. But overall we have been coddled, babyfied. And we don’t even know what we actually gave up. And lastly, we wear our need to be right like a shield that keeps us from the truth. Just lately I’m realizing, yet again, just how wrong some of my ideas and thoughts were on some things. It can be humbling, but necessary. Truth is like a sword. It can cut you, but it can also set you free….

[Spiritwind]

I haven’t felt inspired to write for some long time. But just now, I felt something welling up in me that wants to come forth. I have a friend with whom I’ve had some deep conversations regarding what happens when you die. She has concerns about being tricked into coming back here, and wants to know how to avoid that. We’ve both read Robert A Monroe’s books, Journeys Out of the Body, Far Journeys, and Ultimate Journey, and I have done a fair amount of out of body travel. She has tried ayahuasca and mushrooms, and has had some powerful mystical experiences herself. The only real difference is that I have been, for some long time now, consciously working towards having more experiences connecting with command central. In other words, I inwardly spend time asking God, Great Spirit, Creator, Source, the Big Kahuna, to assist me in clearing the distortions and gaining access to a clear channel so that my life, thoughts, actions, words and behaviors will be more aligned with divine will. And I know when I’ve made the connection, because a Big Something begins to fill me with an amazing sense of gratitude and love, to the point where it feels as though I’m going to explode. All fears, and critical thoughts seem to fade into nothingness, and I know everything is just as it should be. I believe it was Ram Dass who said something like “we’re all just walking each other home”.

Many positive results have come from this practice which I’ve tried to make a part of my daily life, and one is just knowing that everything is going to be okay. The other is knowing beyond any shadow of a doubt that a benevolent loving energy made my experience possible, and that God, the God of Love, is very real. Not just a vague concept, belief, or hope, but a knowing that comes from having touched, ever so briefly, the realm and frequency where it resides. It can be only love, and even though we are made of it and are immersed in its creation, we have been given a sense of self that allows us to think we are separate from it. It truly is an illusion, but you wouldn’t know that unless you have been touched, almost like a magic wand, with what can only be called communion with the divine. Many have had this experience on rare occasions throughout their lives, but few make the honest effort to seek it out, to make it more than a rare occurrence. I would suppose many do not even know it’s possible. But it is.

Maybe more later….