meanwhile....sex talk can help sort us out a bit...

[Pris]

Popping in quickly to thank Old Wolf for his honesty and courage. Also to make sure that this quest has nothing to do with taking 'sides". May we find answers to one of the oldest puzzles and certainly something that plagues most of Humankind.

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I thought I'd pop in here. From a gamine point-of-view, I've never really comprehended what all the fuss is about. In other words, it's quite impossible for me to take a 'side' in this.
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Personally, I think it is good to keep it all in balance... these energies, inside of one's self (I'm not even certain how to define my own energy or energies -- masculine, feminine, or something else...). Just because I'm in a female body doesn't necessarily mean I think like a woman. I've always felt more or less neutral. I don't know how this helps the conversation, but I thought I'd share anyway.
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[Christine]

… no Freudian slip, no analytical drip, what do you feel? There is a very deep rift and it wasn’t always that way.

Abandoned and angry about it. Wanting to dominate women is a natural desire but to what end? Not this social structure I'm sure. Am I expecting a response to my desire to dominate? I do, that's my masculinity. Do I expect women to grovel at my feet or answer to me? That's not what I want, even if my mind gets involved and distorts my real desires. No, I'm looking for something. I'm looking for some sort of honest heartfelt response.

What nature of response? I don't know and I think that's because I've never seen it before.

The world is imbalanced and redressing that isn't undoing what's been done. It's doing something more .. you don't heal by cutting out the wound! What we're missing in the world is true feminine expression.

Thank you Old Wolf, it helps that you speak from YOU.

She sits again this morning contemplating the within, knowing she has opened a door, a place to explore. This is a revealing, this is what she looks for, the inner becoming outwardly visible. First the self must know Self and quit hiding in the shadows so here she goes again.

"Abandoned and angry about it. Wanting to dominate women is a natural desire but to what end?"

She screeches to a halt here, stops and stares at these words. Abandoned and angry! This She knows lies at the root of it all. She ponders deeper... why? where? when? and most importantly by who? and She goes on... she adamantly and stoically stands in the face of the lie that it is natural to want to dominate women, she Knows that is an insert, trauma based? Why does one choose to believe that and how deeply buried is it in the male psyche? This is where she pushes. Wiley, she adds, to Know woman is natural and then she throws out for con-side-ration is to Know the feminine within you.

I am going to tell a bit more about some of my experiences. They are difficult for me to get out in a manner that they are seen as I mean for them to be seen. Well aware still that the projections are dense and will capture but partially, still I have nothing to lose so I throw cautioned rhetorical language to the four winds and go.

She recalls the title Alejandro gave her, "La Muneca", the doll ... in her idiocy [ignorant person," from idios "one's own] she was flattered to be so named, and she recalls now too vividly the dreams of the first magician, moving her by puppet strings. Moves on ...

In an operation Alejandro gave me to certain men, I have revealed the cross etchings of my soul elsewhere, the trainings and the patternings that lie within the remembering.

A teacher comes in many forms and disguises, he was just such. A friend and a foe, a seducer of women seeking himself in the reflection. She recalls the energy fields, the wild dreams lost in watery worlds, floating untethered and yet played. Watching, listening, learning as he revealed a man's fantasy. Again she stops and stares ... Fantasy!, she was his fantasy. That is the key to all seduction and the place most get lost.

And she too knows that the greatest secrets of seduction is to seduce the mind... she will leave off here for now.

What we're missing in the world is true feminine expression.

[Pris]

… no Freudian slip, no analytical drip, what do you feel? There is a very deep rift and it wasn’t always that way.

Abandoned and angry about it. Wanting to dominate women is a natural desire but to what end?.....

.......The world is imbalanced and redressing that isn't undoing what's been done. It's doing something more .. you don't heal by cutting out the wound! What we're missing in the world is true feminine expression.

"Abandoned and angry about it. Wanting to dominate women is a natural desire but to what end?"

She screeches to a halt here, stops and stares at these words. Abandoned and angry! This She knows lies at the root of it all. She ponders deeper... why? where? when? and most importantly by who? and She goes on... she adamantly and stoically stands in the face of the lie that it is natural to want to dominate women, she Knows that is an insert, trauma based? Why does one choose to believe that and how deeply buried is it in the male psyche? This is where she pushes. Wiley, she adds, to Know woman is natural and then she throws out for con-side-ration is to Know the feminine within you.
........

A teacher comes in many forms and disguises, he was just such. A friend and a foe, a seducer of women seeking himself in the reflection. She recalls the energy fields, the wild dreams lost in watery worlds, floating untethered and yet played. Watching, listening, learning as he revealed a man's fantasy. Again she stops and stares ... Fantasy!, she was his fantasy. That is the key to all seduction and the place most get lost.

And she too knows that the greatest secrets of seduction is to seduce the mind... she will leave off here for now.

What we're missing in the world is true feminine expression.

I feel both of you have hit on something huge here. Huuuuge.

Old Wolf... that 'wanting to dominate women is a natural desire' jarred me. I ask, is it a natural desire to want to dominate men? What IS the difference? I see none myself.

Old Wolf and Christine, this also jarred me (you both seemed to tune into this one): 'What we're missing in the world is true feminine expression.' How does one define 'true' feminine expression? Eegads. Should we? Isn't this yet another attempt to define that which is indefinable? I'm only coming from my own... intuition in this. It feels unnatural to me to separate the masculine from the feminine or vise versa. I know that some of us feel one side or the other side much, much stronger...

As I've mentioned, I'm not sure what I my energy/energies are made up of... If I were to describe it, it's almost like there are at least three of me making me up. The ones I can put a finger on are male energy, female energy, and a neutral kind of energy.

The will to dominate (both male and female energy)... the will to surrender to domination (both male and female energy)... I feel both of those desires inside me. The will to fiercely protect what is vulnerable is right there in the middle.
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[Christine]

Beautiful one, Pris.

Yes, to me this is HUGE. In my humble experienced opinion, one is humbled by living not by subservient beliefs of understanding, humble in Knowledge, in Wisdom.

"My brothers stand around me and my sisters are within me. Wisdom, let me attend.”

She is glowing with smiles reading your reply. Energy, it is all about energy! Divine flames embodied, in matter-mater, in Her body, this for this is what appears as Creation. Male and Female both share this equally and distinctly.

She has seen these three energies in her also, this consciousness now is her… An outward moving spiral and within it a downward moving spiral of energy, the third is me iAwareness, expanding in an state of Being ever and always Present. I cherish Being and will love with all my heart and all my soul to maintain this in self and other.

Once uncovered and fired up, iAM can’t be taken away.

Surely it doesn’t miss the reader's attention that this Force, this union of dynamic poles is sorely lacking in most “relationships” and that somehow “relationship” becomes an entity unto itself, either consuming or dominating, different sides of the same coin. In other words the two that desire to become one end up in compromise, agreed upon roles, a truce or there is a break out of war.

This split, this rift goes across all dimensions and is clearly “defined” in our story, in time, in literature, in beliefs, even the attempts to “under-stand” leave further knots for the mind to unwind. Save us from more defining, please. Allow for Truth to emerge from within, spoken transparently with no need to defend or justify.

“It is the mind with its demands and fears, its attachments and denials, its determinations and urges, that destroys love.” - Jiddu Krishnamurti

When Truth starts to ascend, at first it isn’t pretty, it may feel like it is ripping you apart, let it. This is the only way out of the labyrinth of the false matrix, call it what you will.

What I am looking for, scanning for, have a laser attention beamed on is this … What is this rift, this tear in us, in time and space, one that just won’t heal? In each of us there is the answer, by sharing we dis-cover.

For this one writing now it is summed up in these words:

To love, to be loved, to Be Love …

I feel both of you have hit on something huge here. Huuuuge.

Old Wolf... that 'wanting to dominate women is a natural desire' jarred me. I ask, is it a natural desire to want to dominate men? What IS the difference? I see none myself.

Old Wolf and Christine, this also jarred me (you both seemed to tune into this one): 'What we're missing in the world is true feminine expression.' How does one define 'true' feminine expression? Eegads. Should we? Isn't this yet another attempt to define that which is indefinable? I'm only coming from my own... intuition in this. It feels unnatural to me to separate the masculine from the feminine or vise versa. I know that some of us feel one side or the other side much, much stronger...

As I've mentioned, I'm not sure what I my energy/energies are made up of... If I were to describe it, it's almost like there are at least three of me making me up. The ones I can put a finger on are male energy, female energy, and a neutral kind of energy.

The will to dominate (both male and female energy)... the will to surrender to domination (both male and female energy)... I feel both of those desires inside me. The will to fiercely protect what is vulnerable is right there in the middle.
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[Old Wolf]

Surely it doesn’t miss the reader's attention that this Force, this union of dynamic poles is sorely lacking in most “relationships” and that somehow “relationship” becomes an entity unto itself, either consuming or dominating, different sides of the same coin. In other words the two that desire to become one end up in compromise, agreed upon roles, a truce or there is a break out of war.

Whereas the true relationship is with self, the balance between the self masculine and the self feminine. Important to balance these. So what are these? Lots of people talk about it but I've never seen a clear explanation.

she adamantly and stoically stands in the face of the lie that it is natural to want to dominate women, she Knows that is an insert, trauma based? Why does one choose to believe that and how deeply buried is it in the male psyche?

My guess is that this exists in the vast majority (if not all) of both boys and men. It's obvious if you look around. It's also difficult to recognise in yourself and when recognised, who would admit it? It could very well be distorted from it's original purpose of "<something>" to "dominate" but honestly, I think it's too widely spread to be an inserted trauma. It seems more like a relational rift.

So perhaps it's just "self love", iAM, waiting for me to find it within myself?

[Pris]

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The will to dominate (both male and female energy)... the will to surrender to domination (both male and female energy)... I feel both of those desires inside me. The will to fiercely protect what is vulnerable is right there in the middle.
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To love, to be loved, to Be Love …

Goosebumps, Christine! It does seem really... simple. There are no absolutes... Everything is just a reflection or a distortion of love.
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[Naga_Fireball]

When sex talk frustrates me, I just read about spiders. Just kidding lol.

[Pris]

Surely it doesn’t miss the reader's attention that this Force, this union of dynamic poles is sorely lacking in most “relationships” and that somehow “relationship” becomes an entity unto itself, either consuming or dominating, different sides of the same coin. In other words the two that desire to become one end up in compromise, agreed upon roles, a truce or there is a break out of war.

Whereas the true relationship is with self, the balance between the self masculine and the self feminine. Important to balance these. So what are these? Lots of people talk about it but I've never seen a clear explanation.

Personally, I've never felt it as a 'balance' between the 'self masculine and the self feminine'. I've always felt the way I've felt -- rather neutral -- and find this 'desire' to attempt to define -- let alone 'balance' -- the masculine as separate from the feminine quite perplexing... and ultimately pointless. This is how I feel if it helps any.

Btw, I've always felt a natural predilection towards men... as platonic equals. It is not often that I find a man who feels the same way about women.

she adamantly and stoically stands in the face of the lie that it is natural to want to dominate women, she Knows that is an insert, trauma based? Why does one choose to believe that and how deeply buried is it in the male psyche?

My guess is that this exists in the vast majority (if not all) of both boys and men. It's obvious if you look around.It's also difficult to recognise in yourself and when recognised, who would admit it? It could very well be distorted from it's original purpose of "<something>" to "dominate" but honestly, I think it's too widely spread to be an inserted trauma. It seems more like a relational rift.

So perhaps it's just "self love", iAM, waiting for me to find it within myself?

This 'male domination' thing of yours, Old Wolf... you do seem rather preoccupied with it. It is certainly NOT in all boys and men. I'll even go so far as to say it is NOT obvious 'if you look around'. We do live in a contrived culture that promotes it. It is certainly in you. That much is clear. Guess what? I have a will to dominate as well, but again, I would define the energy as neutral. It is creation energy. I've interacted with very 'womanly women' who use their 'energy' in a very dominating manner.
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[Pris]

When sex talk frustrates me, I just read about spiders. Just kidding lol.

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[Old Wolf]

This 'male domination' thing of yours, Old Wolf... you do seem rather preoccupied with it. It is certainly NOT in all boys and men. I'll even go so far as to say it is NOT obvious 'if you look around'. We do live in a contrived culture that promotes it. It is certainly in you. That much is clear.

Pris, you're kidding yourself. If you want to be comfortable with that, that's your choice. It's not mine. In fact i have no choice and I don't think you understand that. I'm serious about this and that's why I'm being honest.