And into Narnia I went

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Blue Rising
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And into Narnia I went

Post by Blue Rising »

In December, 2011, I sat down in my garage office in front of my keyboard. I felt as if the walls were closing in, it was how I had always imagined claustrophobia to feel. But I could see with my own eyes that nothing was happening in my physical environment. I had just started poking around the internet months before, looking for Truth. Whatever that might mean, and wherever that might lead. I was 46 years of age, and was just awakening to the possibility that life was more than what I could experience with the five senses.

So I sat at my computer. Staring blankly at the screen. I began to type into the google search bar, at first slowly but then gaining momentum until I was in a frenzy. In my desperation and frustration, I demanded of the great google god, "what the **** is happening right now!?!?!?!?" (Probably in all caps even lol)

And boom! There it was. A thread on a forum entitled "What's Happening, Here and Now?" I signed up on the forum so that I could go to that thread and ask the participants why I felt claustrophobic ... for they *must* know... they *must* know what is going on...the thread is all about what is going on....they MUST know!

I summoned all my courage as I approached the wardrobe (forum). I stared at the door to the wardrobe (thread) in awe and with much fear and caution and excitement. And then I opened the door of the wardrobe and stepped in.

The magical, mystical world opened up for me. I had found Narnia. I just knew that all of these people had the answers. THE answers.
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
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Re: And into Narnia I went

Post by Blue Rising »

I guess it was as much like Dorothy coming out of the black and white world and into the world of color. All the creatures she had never seen before. All the rich, vibrant energies. The colors were so vivid...and to all these people I had just met, this was normal. For me, it was almost too fantastical to even believe...and yet...to them it was normal. I was in awe.

The discussions of duality and oneness, of ET's and ships, of the possibilities - nay, probabilities of other dimensions, of energy, of chakras, of belief systems, of remote viewing, of distance healing, of astrology, of...geez, everything I had never thought about before. And discussions of the most forbidden subject matter....magick.

Stepping into this world was overwhelming. Every morning when I awoke, I opened this door to see if the magical world of vibrant color was still there. And sure enough it was. I was as green as they come, and way too trusting.
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
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Blue Rising
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Re: And into Narnia I went

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I met some folks in Narnia that I opened up to. I opened my soul to them. Too trusting, sigh. But...I did. I had so many questions, and my driving need to know (coupled with my belief that everyone else had the answers) had me trying to soak up every drop of knowledge I could.

I made some online friends. This was terrific, because I didn't know anyone like me in "real" life. The fact is that I still have a handful of very close friends that I have met online, and they are a blessing to me. But truth be told, there are many people online that have taught me the most painful lessons I could have imagined.

Ah....the Beautiful Ice Queen....
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
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Re: And into Narnia I went

Post by Blue Rising »

Do you want to know who the Beautiful Ice Queen is? Because I know.
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
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Re: And into Narnia I went

Post by Eelco »

Blue Rising wrote:Do you want to know who the Beautiful Ice Queen is? Because I know.
Yes please. I'm so terrible at seeing the obvious. Convoluted theories no problems, but what's right in front of me...
Sigh.

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Re: And into Narnia I went

Post by Blue Rising »

For a time, I was Edmond. The Ice Queen was mesmerizing, almost hypnotizing. The Ice Queen had a certain otherworldly appeal, an indescribable quality...when face to face with this, all physicality ceased and left was only a connection that defies words.

The Ice Queen sat above all others. Beyond all others. I did that, actually. That is where I put the Ice Queen. He took notice of this new Spiritual Child, saw the thirst. Saw the driving desire and raw need to KNOW. And the Ice Queen knew.

The Ice Queen as He.

He knew. He saw. And then He Agreed. The Ice Queen made a conscious decision to teach, to mentor, to introduce, and to welcome Edmond into this magical and mystical world. To take Edmond under his wing and into his family.

Edmond as Me.

As a spiritual child, as a baby in this big wide world of conspiracies and energies and colors and magickal workings, I learned first - and I mean first, before any other lesson - that my previous beliefs were false. That my hunches, that my knee jerk reactions, and my very "conscience" was built on faulty identity...faulty beliefs from childhood - religious, societal, and even earthly.

All false.

Therefore, I was questioning every internal message. Sometimes to the point that I felt I was losing my mind.

Not to worry, the Ice Queen as He gave comfort like I had never experienced.

You think I'm kidding? You think I'm exaggerating? You think I'm being overly dramatic? Go back to Narnia, the book, and read about what the Queen Witch actually gave Edmond. Discover the nature of Turkish Delight, then come talk to me.

Ah...

I went to look that up, and I found the most interesting information...I had forgotten that in Narnia, she is actually the Snow Queen, not the Ice Queen. Ice Queen fits for my experience, though. I also found that she was called the White Witch.

Now, that is fucking eerie.... quite fitting....wow...

Needing to breathe for a moment.
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
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Re: And into Narnia I went

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Centered once again. To continue...

Edmond knew better. He knew that seeking out the Ice Queen in Narnia was not the best decision. Yet he did so anyway. There was something about her. And Edmond as Me...well...I understand this. I heard the little internal voice telling me what was ok and what was not ok....and didn't listen because I had begun the process of unraveling right and wrong. That's the bitch, right there. And maybe I will get to that later. For now, suffice it to say...I was dismantling my identity and partaking of Turkish Delight at the same time. No greater mindfuck has ever existed, at least not in my experience.

Therefore, chaos ruled. Confusion took over. And seeking the external became the driving force, impacting the life of every member of Edmond's family, and every citizen of Narnia...

Years ago, when I sat down to watch the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with my daughters, I wanted to slap Edmond for seeking out the White Witch. He should have known better, I said. He was old enough to make a decision based on what happened the last time he met with her....I thought he was a moron, actually. But, movies being what they are, there will always be some poor ignorant fool who goes into the dark room without flipping on a light when the viewer knows a serial killer lurks....or pursuing the White Witch when all warning sirens are blaring...
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
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Re: And into Narnia I went

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And so Edmond as Me followed the Ice Queen as He. Off into unspeakable places, apparently. Off into a world where it is okay for the Ice Queen as He to give Edmond as Me the Turkish Delight. The very Turkish Delight that had been once promised to only One. And She was not Me.

How do I know this was acceptable?

Because those in this forum community were more than eager to slap the letters T and D on my chest. Because the world in which Narnia was hidden needs to blame Edmond for his actions. Because the Ice Queen as He is held in such esteem that his cool arrogance covers him in a voilet glow, and blinds anyone to the fact that there was responsibility to be had.
Do not fashion me a maiden who needs saving from the dragons. I am the Dragon. And I will eat you whole.
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Re: And into Narnia I went

Post by Christine »

Sitting here reading and holding the space for you. I've been in these waters and learned to swim straight through. Thank you for sharing so openly as it always feels like a risk, for you know well the energies you encountered and how they play. Eventually from that great distance you speak of the observer can discover the whole of the purpose, and with that comes a deep inner peace. It takes courage, fortitude and transparency, qualities too oft missing in most characters on the virtual stage.
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Re: And into Narnia I went

Post by Eelco »

I was unprepared for that.

processing....

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