You touched me with your words, Phil. Love you, too.Phil wrote:Thinking about what coaxed you outa your shell for the moment, I'm saddened to think it's over those feelings rather than those of what you should write for: people like to like to listen to you. You're a great writer with great things to share
I know it's therapeutic and I'd never try to deflect you from this I'm-sure-helpful-to-you&others exercise, I'm personally enjoying it very much.
Heh, how ,ugh am I projecting...I'm a one-trick pony myself 'round here. I'm just trying to say your voice is heard no matter if some assholes act all douchey for whatever reasons, they fighting' their own demons love ya, phil
I just haven't had anything to say publicly. You know how busy I've gotten in 3d. Plus, here I am on these forums where many "fringe" topics are discussed, and many of the players are investigated or vetted or whatever...and I may find it interesting but have nothing of any value to add. I don't have the same background as everyone else. I don't have years and years of researching and reading under my belt.
Actually, I've thought about that over the past few years, and I find that fascinating. How...I found a forum where things are discussed that I never even had any interest in before joining lol. I know it was meant to be, though. Everything for a reason.
Anyway, what prompted me to plant my feet and speak was this. I had a series of three dreams. Each one showed me fear. The last one, for example, was a shadowy figure. Lurking, hiding, peering around corners...really scared me actually. I sat with that and watched it, over and over. I contemplated. I went back into the space. And most importantly, I faced it. Looked at it. Interacted with it. And I learned from it.
After that dream, the third, I knew that I had been motivated to remain silent because I was afraid. And that is ridiculous. There is nothing under our Sun for me to fear. Yes, there were workings hurled at me. Yes, there are energies that are directed my way. Yes, at times these are very heavy or complicated to maneuver or difficult to identify. Hell, sometimes it has been like being tangled up in sticky silly string, energetically.
But I got through. I gained strength. I gained experience. And I gained wisdom. Found a couple of muscles I didn't know I had in the process. And it all started with being knocked on my ass.
People are going to do what people do. Some hate. Some judge. And you know what? Some love. It has been quite the eye opening experience, to watch the reactions to my situation. Some people who set themselves up as spiritually advanced are quite the opposite. Some people who would never consider themselves spiritual are nothing short of Angels on Earth.
At some point I realized. It is a shame, a damned shame, that someone who is a big fish in a small pond, someone who is respected, someone who is well liked, someone who has indeed done much work, someone who has been reborn like a phoenix from his own ashes...would pull out Turkish Delight and offer it to a student. And then go about business as usual, no one the wiser. But you know what? Everything has a higher purpose. And I do mean everything. The roles we agree to are not always the good guys in the play. The roles of the bad guys are the best teachers sometimes. My own role as the bad guy included.
I do know that the only way to learn what we need to learn in this go round is through honest self assessment. So, I'm a pretty big supporter of Know Thyself any more. LOL I'm not always successful, but I think it is one of the most worthy goals we can have in this existence.