I Started It

[Spiritwind]

What a blur this last couple weeks have been. Spring came quite early this year, and after months of nothing to do (except shovel lots of snow), now there is too much to do. I love being outside with my hands in the dirt. There is just something about the new growth stimulated by the sun's warmth and longer days that has an euphoric affect on me. Hard to stay focused on homework I have given myself, in the realm of research and writing. My mind keeps wandering back to what I can do to be outside, simply soaking it up before it gets too hot here, as it always does in the months ahead. Then I will be sitting inside, hopefully not with the spray water bottle this year, trying to keep from being cooked alive. At least that's how if feels.

My life revolves around daily chores often times, with the goat herd, horse, and tiny garden space. I would have a much larger garden, but the well tends to present a challenge later in the summer and we had to haul water last year. We ran a pipe under the building and out to the garden to use our grey water on the garden last year, which was awesome. I often wonder how many of my friends and family could actually handle living like we do. There may come a time when they have to.

I share a few snippets of our chosen alternate lifestyle from time to time, because I strongly feel there are days ahead when this kind of knowledge will become valuable just to survive. Because I do also feel that our world's self chosen leaders, who like to often mix it up with a bit of illusion of choice in some countries just to keep the masses from becoming uncontrollable, are going to be facing some stiff challenges of their own in the near future. You can't hold to a policy of exploiting the recourses based on a sense of entitlement and greed, on a finite planet with limited recourses, indefinitely. Especially when there is no regard for future generations. I guess they figure we'll all be some kind of human robot combo, and so it won't matter. I don't really believe there is such a thing as a perfect slave, but they keep on a tryin.

Anyway, every fiber of my being tells me they won't be successful, at least not in all versions of reality that play out. So I'm practicing for the day when government falls apart, as all governments are destined to do from time to time. Speaking of destiny, I seem to recall I was talking about stones a while back, and promised to continue. And so I will.

I am not quite finished with Joseph Farrell's book, The Cosmic War, but so far am excited to learn about what his investigations have turned up about these Tablets of Destiny that have caused several intergalactic wars, with tragic results.

I wish to digress for a moment though. I knew for a long time that different kinds of stones carry different types of energies with many potentials. Their use goes back as far as you can trace and beyond. We don't really think about it, but some of the very elements that make up stones are also at work playing a part in our physical biology. For instance, silica is vital for providing the building blocks that make up our bone structure, the very thing that enables us to move about. Silica is also found in many minerals, particularly crystalline minerals such as all forms of Quartz. I always found this fascinating, as you could say that they also help make up the structure of the planet herself.

But what I found even more fascinating was what I discovered when I took a class many years ago where I learned to make a crystal grid. The grid consisted of 8 double terminated clear quartz crystals, with six of them arranged in a circle with one in the middle and the 8th was used to charge the others. My instructor had me hold each one for several minutes, tuning into it's unique energy signature, and charging it with my intent and focus, until it felt full in my hand. What I discovered from this process was that each one did indeed feel different and unique. I could almost compare it to energies we humans emit, such as happy, solemn, serious, excited, warm, firm, and so on. Different types of thoughts entered my mind with each one of them. Also, a feeling of coming into alignment, with all of us working as a team. They felt quite alive, and even able to communicate.

Coming back to these Tablets of Destiny, it must also be understood that there were some variations in the translation, and they could also be referred to as Tablet of Destinies, or even stones of power. It becomes obvious that these Tablets conferred to their possessor almost unlimited power. According to Joseph Farrell, these tablets could be understood in the following ways:

1. They were objects containing information.
2. They were objects of technology.
3. They were almost always understood that they could be used as weapons.
4. They also appeared to be able to "effect action at a distance."
5. They at times were also referred to as having an electromagnetic radiation and emit light.
6. They also, much like the ring of power in the Lord of the Rings, seemed to exert a corrupting moral influence on their possessors.

There is much more, but alas I have come to the end of the time I can spend on this today. But I have some thoughts on Tiamat, and even Lucifer, in this story when I return. As we all know, the victors always write history from their particular point of view. More likely all these characters from our enduring legends and so-called myths are simply beings who themselves are the product of much behind the scenes manipulation and generations of subliminal programming, and labeling any of the opposing sides as the good guys or the bad guys will most surely miss the point. A case in point would be my own biological mother in this lifetime. She was a complex being who had many different sides to her persona. In the end, she was my mother, neither totally good, or totally bad, but a mix of sometimes conflicting traits derived from her natural tendencies and her reactions to environmental stimuli. To me, at this point in my understanding, I tend to see personality as just something we develop and grow to think is who we are, but ultimately we each exist and will continue exist as pure spirit clothed in a temporary body, and the personality is secondary. In other words, it's not the real me.

[Spiritwind]

The particle and the wave are both the same. This individuated moving energy can be either or, depending on the circumstances. Bonds are made, but only long enough to fulfill the need of the moment. Movement is either free, or held in place by certain attractions. Whatever we focus on, we get more of, and everything changes once any relationship is observed from a more seemingly distant vantage point.

We choose each moment which reality we wish to give our energy to. Granted, these choices may not be conscious. And that's where the ball was intercepted. By an unseen part of the self, so as to appear to be coming from an outside source. When you lose, or let go of, your ability to see in all directions at once, a natural state when you're in the center of your own sphere of existence, you can become fodder for other energies that, for whatever reason, are unable to ignite their own inner star. When you bring yourself back to center, back into a state of balance of both your inner and outer states of perception, you can no longer readily be used as an energy source fueling another reality not of your conscious choice.

In a way, it's like it's all a game, designed by the part of self that never looses it's timeless, and limitless, connection to full awareness of all that is.

Of course, that may not be how it is at all, but it's fun to think about.....

[Naga_Fireball]

This is very profound writing, the bit about those whose inner stars fail to ignite. I love that image, it is very strong. All they can do is cloud the truth. But as we know. Clouds are lunch for stars.

Hug.

[Naga_Fireball]

On Tuesday evening our town is having a meeting regarding options for the homeless here. If I make it in time I plan to attend.

Having been homeless briefly myself, I do feel really bad for the folks who literally do not have a supportive family or place to go in order to exit street living.

As some of you know, I do suffer autism spectrum disorder -- not as obviously as my son, but it is enough to prevent a lot of normal interactions from taking place.

I fear things others fear less, like applying for work, answering the phone, etc. Also I get personally angry over things that are not personal, like being rejected or passed over. I tend to be poorly organized and not do things in bundles to save time. Researchers say that people with ASD tend to really compartmentalize life and this is largely subconscious.

I remain grateful to those writers who understood what it is like to experience fragmented thinking and perspective while not necessarily rejecting the viewer as a broken instrument.

Without a drug to suppress the "trivia dragnet" our minds carry along, life is exhausting with ASD. Yet being able to put things together again can be nice.

Due to finances I had to take a short weed break and that is very interesting. My thyroid disease is more obvious without it and I feel truly old and tired.

Last week I tried to get myself back on the outdoor adventure routine, but bike is damaged making it about 50% harder to get home. I bought a fishing license last month though and have gone two times. God was good to me the last trip and although I did not have food packed for the trip home, a fish was provided and i cooked it over my own fire.

My son has been able to do backyard lately without massive rebellion or behavior issues. The group home yard, I don't have one.

I will be moving out of my building soon as they are turning it into senior living. Lol..

If I did have employment now I'm not sure how other things would get done. A big setback is my lack of internet at home and the recurring hacking
Of my PayPal and eBay accounts.

But eBay is not the same as a real job. My only social interaction in those days was at the post office. Not great deal lol.

My father in law sounds like his age is really kicking his ass. He's not too many years away from 90 iirc... Hr drives my husband half crazy but they take care of each other.

Spouse speaks often of a desire to go camping. I noticed this began just priir to the local news telling truth about how terrible it will be in Portland and Seattle when the Big Quake hits us.

Lots going on in the world this week, as you earth empaths probably felt, globsl energy is running in high gear all of a sudden.

Hugs

[Spiritwind]

Dearest Naga, I just have to thank you for your honesty and sharing. I guess when I was a kid, my adoptive parents thought I might be autistic because of some of my behaviors. I can remember one day riding in the backseat of our family car, on the way home from the Kingdom Hall (church of Jehovah's Witnesses), and hearing my parents talk in the front seat, as if I wasn't even there, about how someone had asked them whether I was mentally retarded. And I did used to think there was something terribly wrong with me.

And then there was the pity in everyone's eyes when they looked at me. I, too, felt very sorry for myself for a very long time. And I was totally pissed at the world. It's hard to even recognize that person now. I was so internally miserable. All three of my kids have serious authority issues and could not do public school well at all. And my oldest grandson has been diagnosed with autism and takes medication, primarily to make his behavior more acceptable to the school system. I know in his case part of it is dietary too.

And now, my daughter and I are having conversations about the whole growing trend of making vaccinations mandatory. She recently got engaged to her boyfriend, and has been talking about wanting to have kids with him. She is already having anxiety about what choices she may have to make in regards to the vaccine issue. Home schooling doesn't work for everyone.

It is, indeed, a tough world we seem to live in. I'm going to post the video by Russell Means here on this forum, for anyone who may have missed this jewel. It's called "We're all on the Reservation Now". And we are. It's just that many have not consciously recognized that fact yet. I sorta came in knowing something was not right about this reality, and just being here used to feel very painful. Thankfully, I have learned how to reorient my self enough to mostly be in a place where I don't have to shut down just to get by. Not a fun way to go through life.

But I have learned to take joy from the simplest of things. There are so many ways to do it, you just have to make a commitment to finding positive things to focus on, while at the same time being able to take an honest look at how the outer, non-organic world has been designed to operate. It's so easy to see and feel the difference. When I'm engaging nature, whether it's noticing that the so called weeds growing around me are mostly healing medicinal plants, rather than a nuisance that needs to be eradicated, to apologizing to them when I have to pull some up in the garden, it's completely different than when I have to engage with the man-made monstrosity known as "the System". When I have to do anything, from slogging through redundant forms that they make you fill out for almost anything, to the ridiculous experience of having to call for any kind of support now days and hoping I get someone whose accent isn't so strong I can't understand a word they say, it's anxiety producing. Sometimes I really do wish I could just escape from it all.

But, somehow, I feel, that each and everyone of us, who is reaching for truth, and continuing to reach, no matter what life throws at us, are maybe just doing what we came here to do. I can't help but think we did know that this life here was going to be a challenge. And we agreed to take it on. I admit, there are many times when I have thought I bit off more than I could chew, and thought "What was I thinking?!". But, somehow, foolhardy or not, we knew we had to do it. Despite how the outer world is starting to seriously look (scary as hell), I am feeling more and more of my energy moving into a new more positive reality. I can feel it, I can hear it, I can smell it. It's just right there, a slight turn of the reality dial, and I'm there. And I'm finding some good company there too. Maybe we'll just end up phasing right out of this reality entirely. Villains are going to have a hard time when there is no one left to victimize. Just the thought of it gives me great joy.

Already out of time for writing again. I do apologize for my lack of presence lately. The old "outer world" seems to have shifted into high gear, trying to divert my attention. It will not be successful, but still they try.

https://youtu.be/f3TtPOmq1tI" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Naga_Fireball]

I always enjoy these and hope my bitchiness today in Anders' thread was not too severe.

It is nice, more than nice, to see how you are doing Spiritwind.

Your story is hugely inspiring. I am saddened when harsh things happen to good people and wish I knew how to be more supportive of EE rather than challenging others and just focusing on my own ****.

My visit with my son went poorly today. I brought a Mexican nutty bar that I thought was too large for him and trying to split it up caused him severe tantrum. I ended up leaving early feeling like a loser.

Then (hi Anders) the stress triggered my own desire to overspend on non-crucial supplies if you know what I mean. I feel like a double failure trashy person.

No job terrible manager and I bought beer with credit.

I'm glad some of you here have healthier lives and better self control.

I'm so sorry for what your family is experiencing, SW. Waking up can be a terrible experience when it's stuff like bad vaccines and societys unfair and barbaric reaction to damaged people.

You know I have growing respect for anyone who works so gd hard.

You are all amazing people.

[Spiritwind]

There is a favorite saying of mine that says "sometimes you have to go a long ways to come back a short distance". The following may seem off topic, but in reality it isn't, but it may take some time to bring it back around. One thing does lead to another.....

I have been giving this a lot of thought lately, this whole idea of masculine and feminine energy, and the imbalance overall. For me, my interest in the feminine, the Divine Feminine, has to do with several things. Hopefully I can explain this in a meaningful way. You see, the focus on the feminine for me is a very personal thing, that has little to nothing to do with sex. It has to do with different types of energy, and the way it expresses. Some long time ago, because of what I learned during times of self reflection, I came to realize that I had an imbalance within me. Some of what were identified as primarily masculine traits seem to dominate my reality. I had a very strong instinctual nature, that caused me to spring into defensive, and even aggressive action, when I felt physically threatened. Not everyone responds this way, whether you identify as male or female.

My middle child, and younger of my two sons, generally felt compelled to run for his life when he felt physically threatened, as I saw demonstrated numerous times with his father and other situations. In fact, there are numerous men I can think of who have demonstrated their inability to overcome their almost knee jerk response when they feel threatened physically. I did run from my dad a few times, but when push came to shove, I would instinctually fight for my life when actually cornered. I have instinctually responded with aggression on several occasions with dogs, actually causing them to run away, even though in reality I was not a match for them, if they had not bought my bluff.

But, when I was younger, I also had a very harsh outlook, that didn't have a lot of room for anything I felt was unnecessary. I didn't plant flowers, just for the sake of their beauty and fragrance, because it wasn't practical. I scorned anything and anyone who seemed weak, and unable to make decisions. I also, unknowingly, hated myself for what I saw as weakness. I was secretly hiding the victim within.

Even though I didn't know my biological father, and had an abusive adopted father, I had far more issues with my image of the mother. At least, it had to be dealt with first. And to me, both the Divine Father and The Divine Mother images have been tainted, and become unbalanced. And by Divine, I simply mean the most perfect archetype of these energies that we are currently able to even imagine. We all have ideas about what a good mother and father should be. Then we have what we actually experienced, and then we even have what is hidden in our psyches that we submerged because we just couldn't handle it at the time it was experienced. This little closet of subconscious judgement about our experiences is where the real compost to grow something of lasting beauty really lies.

Anyway, I came to realize that I had a lot of thorns in my garden, and not much joy, or beauty. Where was the tenderness, acceptance, and nurturance going to come from that I so obviously was missing? I knew I could not find it in my outer world, because the inner landscape was developed first. So, it had to be weeded, fed, and tenderly cared for, before it would begin to produce good fruit. I had to become that mother to myself I never had. You see, many traditions talk about the first emanation of creation being primarily a feminine type of energy. And then came the more masculine energy of contraction, and boundaries, and ways to use that creative energy as a type of modeling clay, to create specific forms for that creative energy to inhabit.

So I think we've got it a bit backwards. We often think of light, as it emanates from source, as masculine, and the forms it inhabits as feminine. What if it is the other way around?

For it seems, when I tune into the creative flow of life itself, it is not static. Rather, it is constantly in motion and wants to move. It is beauty, it is the music we hear, and the color we see, but it is not static, but ever changing. Sounds awfully feminine to me.

Now, form in itself is not bad. But when form tries to control the light by not allowing it to move, then often a painful experience ensues. I have noticed this even with childbirth. When I got out of all the programming and expectations that I was taught, I could not describe my experience as painful. People look at me like I'm either a liar or nuts, but it's true.

When form and life energy work together, anything, absolutely anything, is possible. My hunch, though, is that something went awry that involved interactions between both polarities, to where it couldn't find it's center. Maybe the original dance of creation had a curve ball come in from its blind side, when it momentarily wasn't paying attention, I don't know. But once the light realizes that it can never be held in place forever, than maybe it can finally let go, find that place of acceptance for what it is now able to remember about that first trauma, and consciously let it go. Then all else may fall into place, once again, but without coercion and pain being a necessary part of the experience.

[Christine]

The Russell Means video, every time I listen to it I get tears in my eyes.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN9ssrVTkk8[/youtube]

And while at it here is his last recorded video before he passed with his beautiful wife, Pearl.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFt6XRyQhD8[/youtube]

[Spiritwind]

This may seem strange to put this here, but I am trying to write my next piece for my thread on the Hebrew alphabet, and found what I saw, as I was allowing my mind to go where it wanted with my musings, quite interesting and want to keep track of it. But it really doesn't fit with keeping to my format there, so thought this was as good a place as any to put it. I am guessing that this will come more into view as I continue to explore.

So we've come to understand that there is only so much energy that fuels the universe, even though we are also told that it is expanding. So, which is it? My thoughts are that part of going the other direction, going in reverse, is to move back into the energy of expansion, rather than allowing your consciousness to remain in the matrix of contraction. I know this may sound strange, but what I literally saw in my mind's eye as I meditated about this, was a golden dodecahedron in the center of the earth, connecting with the dodecahedron located in the bowels of our being, as well as our sun being energetically a dodecahedron itself. And that together we are giving birth to a new consciousness that has not existed before. And that the moon is actually artificial in nature, and has been substituted, much like children get abducted and replaced in fairy tales. It's like finding out you have a electronic bugging device in your home that has been providing Intel to something that is secretly monitoring your every move. And since time is part of the construct, it cannot be pinpointed to a specific point in time. It actually occurred in multiple points (or you could even say angles) of time simultaneously. In a way, you could say the original organic and biologically driven program got hacked, or infiltrated. But it wasn't noticed right away. Interesting.

[Spiritwind]

Once again I am starting to focus my inner attention to the next letter in the Hebrew alphabet that I am now working on, Samach. Interesting for me to observe how this focus bleeds over into my waking thoughts.

They have not become attracted to their own light yet.

That is the only difference between me, and those who appear to have no interest in discovering who they are as a spiritual being. Every single individuated consciousness, regardless of the stories it has created, has the option to begin the path of self discovery. The innate drive that awakens, to know truth, to know where you came from, and what you really are. Each will make that journey when it becomes the focus of attention. Whatever you focus your attention and energy on, you get more of. Our thoughts do affect the reality we experience.

When the focus becomes more inward than outward, a new part of the journey has been reached, and the terrain changes considerably. One no longer looks outwardly for the truth one seeks. Realization dawns with certainty that the inner landscape is the projector of ones outer reality. Whether that is being projected from some perceived outer source, say, Saturn/Moon matrix, it can still be viewed as language that describes what is ultimately an outer manifestation of the inner reality. Hence, the recent interest in the inner earth.

Once this is done with enough focus to turn the Wheel of Destiny, one can literally, with the combined focus of enough sentient beings, change the direction one is individually, and since everything is connected, collectively going, much like changing the track you are on, when riding a train. You could be heading to one destination, meet up with a crossover, and end up on a completely different track, going a different direction. The whole issue, in my mind, as of late, is the epic battle over who gets to pull the lever, and which direction we end up going. It's like we intuitively ALL sense that we are reaching a crossroads of sorts.