Family relationships, now there's a possible mine field there! And the differences in outlook between family members, wowzers! All I can say there is I must have accidentally been dropped off here on my way to somewhere/when else, LOL. No, all kidding aside I think most of my family and adopted family (JW's I don't keep in touch with anymore) all look at me as something of an anomaly. I have walked away from everyone's rather low expectations of me and decided to live my own life some long time ago. Even my husband's side of the family don't know what to think, except they can see that he is happy. And everyone can see that I am pretty happy too. In many ways I've been fiercely independent my whole life, but still had a heap of programming (much of it subconscious) to undo. Still working on that too.
And in a way, that's what it's all about. I hate to use my two Aunts as an example, but I know they'll never ever see this, so will do it anyway. When I was growing up my sister and I called them the Bee-Hive sisters, cause they always wore their hair up. Both of them married party boys at first, and subsequently divorced them (my mom actually did that too). One married a rich pervert that molested my cousin. The other married a well off alcoholic. She also won the lotto a couple times. They are classic cases of inherited narcissism. In a way it isn't surprising that I'm not close to the few remaining relatives from the older generations. I've had a disdain for wealth and the arrogance and elitist attitudes that result from it all my life. And yet, here we are, in a world that basically worships money.
I have no doubt it is matters of the heart that have brought us all together here. I think that is the question we all ask ourselves, how to live authentic lives that demonstrate an inner adherence to a value system that is totally at odds with the one being foisted upon us from the day we are born here. It becomes a life long endeavor, much like a beautiful painting that paints itself as you go along. None of us even know what it will look like when we are done, but we paint with a eye for beauty and love, so we know we cannot fail. A worthy endeavor in this world, but one that can leave us feeling alienated from many who just do not understand. Some of my relatives don't feel comfortable around me, but it's never been spoken openly about. And I have finally arrived at where I don't care. I wear my heart openly with as much self honesty as I can muster up, and I don't care if I shake things up anymore, just by being myself.
And that's also what this is all about. Finding out who we really are, and realizing that, for me anyway, everything I was taught growing up was almost all wrong. And the majority will never ever even question the prevailing narrative, to check for accuracy. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is just be ourselves. Even without opening our mouths. It carries a certain energy with it that can be felt. I can feel it in many others, so I know, thankfully, I am not alone. We mostly do forge ahead on a road less traveled. But when you go through your life here with a spiritual focus, you can begin to intuit even the energy signatures of those who have traveled these paths before. You can find and access the ancient spirit roads. In this way, we can re-awaken the gifts our ancestors left for us along the way. Once you re-awaken your memories of times when your ancestors lived truly free, it changes you. It has not always been the way it is now. And they do want to hide that truth from us.
Not even sure where all this came from. Except I have been thinking about freedom, and being free a lot lately. And how I can actually feel some of the energy of my ancestors when they lived free, and how different that is to how we mostly live our lives today. Freedom and truth seem to go together really well, as it is mostly deceit and slight of hand tricks that have brought us to where we are. More sweet tasting frosting that's been made out of lard on top will not help us get out of this mess, that I do know.
I’m not myself today, maybe I’m you