Shadow of the Shaman

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Phil
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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I can’t really describe how it feels. The music is so surreal. The songs come and go. As versatile as E is with her voice, H has almost as much range, his deeper songs sound more earthy than her super high elvish sounding alien songs…I mean straight from Venus, the language and the sound, they straight channel the spirit of the plants, it is absolutely breath-taking, and he is incredible on an endless array of instruments from the guitar and drums to owl feathers and crystal bowls and exotic flutes. I found out later this was completely unique to their ceremonies, I wasn’t in a typical “ayahuaska sitting” like some of the veterans like to call it…sitting with H &E was its own thing, they are musical virtuosos.

I’m starting to drift off, let the music and medicine take me, feeling it coursing through my body. Not even realizing she’s not singing, I hear E’s gentle whisper: Phil, are you ready for more medicine?

I drag myself off my mat and across the concrete floor, slinging on my butt. Get up to H sitting indian style like a Buddah with the bottle medicine between us. He asks me on a scale of 1 to 10 how I’m feeling it, and I can’t even wrap my brain around the question. Before hearing E’s voice, it was like zillion, my butt scoot across the floor brought it down to nearly nothing, what’s the average between zero and infinite?

I just kinda smiled at him and he smiled back, pouring what I came to learn later is a “purge” dose. Barely more than covering the bottom of the Dixie shot cup, and as soon as scoot the 5 feet back to my bedding I immediately hurl it, everything I’d eaten that day, and some extra brown shit right into my bucket. It was amazingly healing feeling, I got a taste of what they meant when they were telling us how good purging (be it vomit, crying, sweating, burping, etc) can be.

I certainly wasn’t the first to purge, and was pretty far gone before than to notice…but it had cleared a space in me, and brought some clarity to mind, where I really started noticing other purging, be it throwing up or sobbing loudly…but no matter what, even though I knew I only even noticed others when I focused on them, I had a long nigh ahead of me of working out my “shame” I was feeling for “ruining everyone’s ceremony” cause I couldn’t be still.

From what I’m told, even writhing around in between two people on the side walls goes largely unnoticed by the neighbors, and I was in my own little island, but I got stuck a couple times worrying about that. Also, I found myself every time getting close to “going deep” as they liked to call it distracting myself by taking on other’s emotion, my empathic sense was severely heightened and in retrospect I realized how much I use others’ shit to avoid my own.

I was not really in so deep for awhile after the purge, I felt good and definitely weird but no where near the intensity. I had not yet learned how H & E WANT you to be coming as often as you can to get more, no one seemed to be going up and they weren’t coming back to me so I was hesitant. Finally one of the vets went and got more, so I scooted up got another dose that I managed to hold down. I wasn’t having the personal relationship with “mother ayahuaska” that my friend described, instead I found myself trying to build trust. She “sounded” an awful lot like me, and it seems like she was giving me puzzles/games to work out while she was doing her thing in my body, it was definitely strange.

So non-linear, so hard to describe. It was like a mental effect where I’d ask for some affirmation or I’d start getting deep into a song or myself and the door would or someone would cough or some trivial distraction would jolt me into a different reality. Time was hard to keep track, and I was shocked to hear “well ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for last call”. I was told that no matter how you feel, you are encouraged to ALWAYS take last call, there was still a couple hours left to go in the night.

So when I purged the first “last call” I was given, I got right back in line, I wasn’t about to lay and wish I had gotten more. And she was really rough on me, I definitely felt broken down, unhealed, a bit of despair. It was unpleasant, uncomfortable, but also felt like somehow it “was working”. I never got the personal attention that I noticed the really freaked out/stuck/lost people would get, the owl feathers shaken near them and a song right over top, from one or the other of them.

But after a while, I felt the wet coldness at my feet. On my foot, to be exact. I had either stuck my foot in my purge bucket, or dipped my blanket in…or both…and drug it up on to the end of my mat. It was a king sized comforter, way inappropriate, at least me for me, who tends to spread out and make a mess (Bill I guess thought I’d keep it folded). Some minutes (or hours?) prior to this, H had announced the ceremony for tonight was over, and invited us to the silo on top of the hill for food and socializing if we wanted/could handle it…but be as quiet as possible as others may “still be coming in for a landing”.

Well my area was the heavy traffic area, with the door continually opening starting to annoy me, puke foot and mat got me up, but I could only make it to the couch right outside the door. I collapsed in what I thought was fresh (it was cooler, it was a hall with a door to the outside, with a kerosene heater flame thingy and a porta potty (did I mention the entire property is off-grid?)

B, the owner of the property, checked up on me. I wasn’t doing great, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. His compassion, just his general concern for me, and then covering me in blankets and making sure I felt comfortable was what I needed to get out of where I was stuck. I (mentally) screamed at “mama” WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ABOUT MY MS???) and started weeping (my eyes are welling up even now), I felt the despair and fear and unjustness of my stupid disease with all my heart, and the purging cry was the most incredible relief I have ever felt in my life. After I cried a while, I still felt broke down but definitely a bit lighter. It was so wonderful to have the couch to melt into I had buried myself in the cushions.

Then I hear a soft beautiful voice in my ear, whispering something to me…I come back into my body…what? I hear E say “you need to be careful of the cats” ….I’m thinking, catS? I thought there was only one? So I go: I love cats! She goes “what?” I say, oh I have no problem, I would fine hanging with cats…she says “GAS, I said be careful of the gas!”….and I realize my heads like 2 feet from the kerosene burning fire pit thingy warming the hall. She tells me to get up, I start to…then she’s like “um, no don’t get up” and glances around…and I smile and wonder if I could if I wanted, trusting that she had pretty good idea that I shouldn’t….she had peeked in the room and saw the horrorshow I had turned my space into, and suggested you should just get up there at the other end of the couch.

Of course now I’m paranoid I’m going to die of poison in my sleep, so add that to the anxiety of the demons and uncertainty I am already battling, and almost on queue, B comes in covers me with more blankets, lets me know the gas will run out soon, and just his enterance cleared out the space of gas (that probably just in my mind), and I guess I got a little sleep…or something like it…interspersed with thoughts like “remember: you CHOSE to do this” and “How the fuck am I gonna be able to take any of this shit tomorrow???”
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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I thought the term “non-linear” was cute, when they used it to describe the experience, though couldn’t exactly wrap my head around the idea…until it happened. It continues to unfold for me to this day, and would probably be nearly as intense if I could have avoided distractions, ah but such is life. More than one person expressed appreciation for the presence of my “east coast energy”…everyone there was a PNW crunchy hippie yuppie “Portland weird” or Bend-hybrid type, felt the difference but that I still fit right in. I mentioned how no matter where I go, I always feel at home, and act that way…whether the home owner likes it or not.

I’m sure I’ll have plenty to tell of my second (and in between), but it occurs to me now to share my friend’s (and sponsor) unfolding. The guy with the personal relationship with “Mother”, who was told in no uncertain terms she was ready to meet me…well as well as I knew him, he laid a doozey on me: he had been searching for birth mother for nearly 15 years.

Now I was aware he was adopted, maybe he even mentioned once or twice something that should have occurred to me was a sort of Ben Stiller in “Flirting with Disaster” situation, the great relationship with adoptive parents but curiosity about the bio-parents. Anyway, part of the weekend is a circle in the morning after taking the medicine. An actual piece of the ayahuaska vine is passed around, with everyone invited to share what they learned the night before.

This is a very touching, often purging (lots and lots of tears, I was crying like a baby relating to nearly every sharing in some way), very important part of the experience, a real bond is formed among everyone in the room, it is deeply personal. He mentioned in the circle both times that he was really focusing his intent on his bio-mom, and working on those feelings that his adopted/abandondment issues he was stuck on. He brought it up in the first session, which he was still pretty down on as he hadn’t completely worked through them, but on the second he shared a beautiful revealing of how he came to terms and tearfully explained the relief he felt from experiencing his 19 year old mom giving him and the feelings surrounding that whole that “mama” showed him.

Well, Sunday night I slipped out and up to my brother’s house (they live in same neighborhood in town) up the street to leave him time and space with his family, and process some of my own shit after a little time with his lovely wife and daughters. He had to work the next day--he originally had off but a work SNAFU made him go in—so I planned for a mountain day with my bro and a friend I had made that weekend (who happened to be my bro’s chiropractor, small town). I didn’t get over to see Bill again until Tuesday, when his wife jumped in my face to say “Bill has the most amazing story for you!!”

Turns out she couldn’t get enough weeping while hearing the story that during that morning, a girl from some service he has evidently sent his DNA into 4 years prior…a sort of connector for relatives, was like a 33% match…indicating she was a half sibling. A few pms and FB connections later Bill had connected with him mom! They took it kind of slow cautious but within a few messages he got the affirmation he was looking for when she told him that she thought him every day. It was like a sappy movie, a bunch of grownups crying and laughing in amazement.

And the update I got yesterday morning, it’s a week later and now they are swapping life stories. He had been cautiously optimistic, making sure anyone he told the story to (then) that he’d be ok if they didn’t get any further, and said he was careful not to use the “R” word, not wanting to put pressure on her to start a “relationship”. When our friend asked him “do you think the taking the medicine had a lot to do with it?”, he said “absolutely, it happened the way it did because I was finally ready for it to.”
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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Going into the second night, I was ready for it. I learned so much from the night before, and was envigorated by the inspiring stories and wonderful company hanging out on the desert off-grid property with plenty of great healthy food and time and space to reflect…the weather was perfect, I was all-in…determine to go after it hard, to go deep, to do some work.

Well, this time, being “experienced” now, we were given full doses to start. The difference in size of the shot of the shot may or may not have been significant, but the fact that the medicine was already in me definitely was…it kicked in, fast….and she was rough.

I was so uncomfortable, there wasn’t any euphoric pleasant gentle or even really psychedelic (nothing real visual anyway) about the beginning…it felt like work, it felt like something significant was happening in my body. And at certain point, it was nearly overwhelming. It was half hour to 45 mins (I’d guess) in that I started purging, and I got to a point so far away from myself…I tried to hang on it (wasn’t successful) while hanging on to lessons I learned from the previous night (I was successful here, I called out for help).

I am not certain where I was or what I did, I know it was important experience, I wish I could have kept the emotional and mental context, what I was thinking at the time. But what I do recall was how healing the purging felt, how good I felt afterward…how light I felt.

An old, dear friend once was helping early on in my PA days, and one night he focused on me in his dream state. He dreamt that I was in a room with being worked on by the Fae, and when they touched a spot in a head, a spot in my brain I had even previous to that felt from time to time, I flinched—was in extreme pain (while Ness looked out the window, not acknowledging me at all).

Well, the only thing I held to on the purge was the feeling that the trauma/implant/disease/whatever that I’ve carried for a long time being removed. It felt like my entire was lighter…a huge weight was lifted, a discomfort removed. My hands were/are still numb, so it’s not like it was literal removing of my MS (the first recorded story of a gringo’s Ayahuaska experience described the dude watching beings literally take his busted old organs out of his body and bring them back and put them back in all shiny and new…I could dream, I guess ), but it was significant. It was the moment I felt the change, one that my best friend back east noticed.

Well, the whole experience is “non-linear”, so forgive if the story gets a bit disjointed…but I didn’t feel great right away. I did at the moment of purging, but must have been doing work while being worked on, because I ended up laying down, coming “back to the room” when I realized H was singing right over me, his hand over my heart.

At one point E touched my foot, kind of bringing me back in the room, catching a bit more of the song (she hadn’t joined, I guess I needed double attention but was not quite to double song territory), so I guess I was in pretty stuck…and I got out because my hand was burning hot. I came to a bit, and realized it was on my heart, when I moved it off, the (not unpleasant) hot sensation quickly dissipated.

That’s when I got up…well, lumbered my torso off the mat and scooted on my butt up to the Buddah serving the medicine. I got a chuckle how intentional, yet incredibly subtle--but completely unmistakable sound of the medal base thingy he kept the medicine bottle in and set on the floor in a way to invite us journeyers to come up and get more…followed about a minute later by his whistling breathe blessing he put on just poured dose.

He chuckles as see me scoot up, and asked if I was ready to go deep…I said that’s what I came for, he approved and poured a slightly bigger than “purge dose”, I was the first to need help after all. In fact, besides one of the few who took a pre-dose (a handful of the more experienced got their party started a little earlier with a shot before the blessing/ceremony and first communal drink—which they also got, and one dude purged)…no one else had been audible to me at that point. That changed in a hurry, though.
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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I feel joy exuding from what I imagine to be my pineal gland today. An energetic feeling I can barely contain, a contentment and peace with all being that I can’t recall ever having. So I guess maybe it’s a good time to wrap my recounting of what I believe to be a catalytic change inside me:

So I got a decent in my belly, it’s sitting nice...I’m feeling great. Feel like I can take on the world, heal everyone, control the energy of the room. I sit next to my mat…which happens to be a major throughway for those that need to get, well anywhere, except to the medicine, I guess, I’m the one on a direct line to that.

So E has to come and ask me to sit on my space. I rebel, I like the feeling of the concrete, why can’t I sit here? Because you are blocking everybody. Oops…okay, so I plop my butt halfway up my mat, sitting indian style, ready to meditate, completely shut down that ego voice in my head and take it all in.

So I settle in, shuffle my body into some quasi-lotus position, and about 5 seconds I feel my heart drop out of the bottom of my body. Well not MY heart…I feel this dread, this deep despair…HUGE fear and sadness…of the girl whose feet I was directly a foot and half away from.

I turn my head look at her and she’s crawling to the end of her mat to her bucket, and hasn’t even finished her first purge and H is filling the space between us. In retrospect, we had come to find that H & E generally know BEFORE the person does that they’re heading for a distress that they need help with…this we learned when Bill asked for affirmation from the time he telepathically called out for help to them at a time of relative silence he didn’t want to audibly break.

Obviously he had felt what I had, or mama told him about it…or however he operates/empathizes gained awareness. He’s literally on top of me, my shoulder against his back and he’s actually sitting on foot (not hurting it or anything, just completely unconcerned with my physical presence, focusing on her. Perhaps he felt the love I was sending L, who I could not see…but the biggest part: I could “feel”, but maybe for the first time ever…I was able to not “take on”…if that makes any sense.

I learned at that moment how important it was to feel others feelings without…I don’t know how else to describe other than “taking it on”. This was an enormous weight lifted off of me, which I was never before even close to being aware of. I saw how the day before (and other times in my life) how I would (willingly, if unconsciously) be dragged into whatever emotional state of anyone I was empathizing with, and saw how it really does nothing positive for them (or myself).

It was such an amazing lesson, a wonderful relief…especially since ever since that weekend I can consciously my heart being open and am aware when others’ emotional energy is drawn in. Being able to feel it, let it go, and deal with it in a truly detached way has been so rewarding, it has applied to nearly every interaction I have had since.

…which was especially important in that L’s episode ended up being an epic climactic chapter in my story for that weekend, and I was not the only one. She was in a bad place, for a long time, H was working hard, after a minute or two I gathered myself and got out of the way. E had come in for reinforcements…so I know L was in a bad way, I couldn’t imagine the intensity of the duo singing at/to/for me from that close—but I knew she was in good hands so I laid down and focused on positivity, trying to be a light…realizing how I’d been using others’ shit to distract myself, and started focusing on myself.

Well, I quickly ended up “going in pretty deep”, deep enough to not notice the clamoring ruckus (extremely audible to those “present” in the room, I wasn’t and so was told about it later) ruckus she made knocking all the (mostly empty) plastic buckets over as she dragged herself around my zone and toward the door. I was completely unaware of this until she managed to get the door open, the blast of fresh chilly air brought me back into the room. I rolled my head to the left to see what looked like snoopy inches from me, chin on the step—completely stretched out flat on her belly, giant smile on her face, I felt the flood of relief as she breathed in the fresh air.

Image

Then she was gone, and E was right there, telling her to get up. That jolted her back into the pit of her trauma she had been faced with and she started freaking out. As she was at the door, they had got her to the couches just outside the room and shut the door, so not much was going on that anyone could be aware of, but it put a huge, palpable anxiety on to the room…if anyone had been taken outside to deal with their stuff it hadn’t been noticeable, the couple of people who needed to were quiet. And for about a minute or two it was relatively until you could hear her muffled struggles that culminated into blood curdling scream that I felt through my heart and soul…it was really intense.

But I was able to let it go, and I could feel the slightly more muted positivity and love coming from the room, working it’s way through the heavy fear and anxiety…it was really weird. But I zoned back out having felt the healing in her purges too, I could tell each let something out…vomit, struggle, cry…and even scream, she was being healed, it was a good process…had to be scary as hell for her but I knew she’d feel better for it soon.
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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The first night, I couldn’t get out of my hallway…I needed to be alone in my zone with solid couch to merge into buried by the weight of the blankets, letting the medicine course through me, letting mama work…working on myself. Having popped my cherry so-to-speak, that day I had determined this night I would add my will to the experience, and make sure I got the most out of it.

So despite being probably significantly more impaired on the functional physical human level, I did go REAL hard after it, after all…could still have gone deep, probably should have…but I wanted the full experience. So when the “rush hour” of traffic leaving the room was at it’s peak (right next to me), rather than going within, I got my ass and went outside.

This point was the most “hallucigenic”, being outside, the change in environment, the disorientation could have been acid or shrooms or really good ecstasy. It wasn’t that dark but I couldn’t see well just a few feet in front of me and moving was an adventure. I shuffled carefully through the brush and rocks up the hill to the beaconing light of the converted silo and noise of the conversing journeyers.

Once in the room, it wasn’t like a drug trip anymore, the warmth from the people and the fire and the overall energy was just amazing, it felt like a special night at home with my family. Laughing, joking, sharing…it was just a unique moment in time. The fruit was to die for, mangos and strawberries and apples rejuvenating me while I was feeling like I was tasting them for the first time. More than one person went out of their way to tell me how wonderful I was and how my (unique East coast) energy was such a welcome piece in the whole of the ceremony…which put me at a loss, I still hadn’t learned how to take complements well.

But I did get to return the energy to one of the dudes, who was telling Bill about the ship. He was elated, because apparently it was there the night before and the beings ignored the dude, I could feel the rejection as he recounted it…this night they went up to him. Bill—who he was actually talking to--while he has gotten very spiritual, has obviously had no experience with ETs/UFOs or anyone who has…so kind of smiled and said something positive but not allowing for the dude to expand.

So of course I had to jump in, this was fascinating to me. I asked him if he saw the ship up close…he was hesitant, I don’t think he expected anything other than the a response like Bill’s. After the moment I see him questioning than letting go to his trust in me, he told me of the many colors and sheer beauty of it and the joy he got out of his contact with the beings. It was really cool, and it prompted Bill to tell us how he telepathically called out to H&E and they both heeded his “magic”.

Then I find that L has ended up next to me, we snuggle up a bit and I joked about the scene she made with her blood-curdling scream. She genuinely laughed, any embarrassment offset with the overall vibe of the room, and she happily told the room of her (physical) experience…as only Bill, me, and the girl on the other side of her could have even had a bit of a clue of who it was and what was happening other than a series of LOUD sounds, culminating in the climactic scream. She mentioned how healing it ended up being, but none of the details of what it was about…too personal, and no one is gonna push in tha situation, not even me, and I was ok with being left to wonder.

Slowly each person left to lay down or get some air or change of scene, until I was left alone with H. We talked of many things, shooting the shit like we do here, just a great, high level conversation. And when I came with to get some air outside, I found myself dumping my life story on him. Hearing it the way I told it to him made me realize how much I had taken on, how crazy I let my “normal” become, how much I have faced, chosen, endured that the telling in any other setting would have made jaws drop.

“You are a bit of rescuer, eh? I was too, it took a lot to figure out I was the one in need rescue.” That’s what I wanted from my shaman. A blending of experience, with a fellow human. Appreciation of sharing a journey together, which this was not the only example of he and E doing…they did this all weekend, and after.

I couldn’t recommend the medicine to everyone, not in general…it really depends on the circumstance…I’ve read some crazy tales of jaded South Americans providing the ayahuaska but no guidance. But I can recommend anyone that finds themselves on a path that gives them an opportunity to experience one of H&E’s ceremonies to do so, the shamans made the journey special…even beyond their otherworldly musical masterpieces. They were healing with us, encouraging us to truly heal ourselves, appreciating the purging as much as euphoric relief…helping us to connect with spirit of the plants, life…the earth.

And the thing I can hear more often, more clearly, than any other part of the weekend, was this:

“Well my brothas and sistas, it’s that time of night where the ceremony ends. And while it may be over, the work is never done.”
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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Great topic.

Everyone of these challenges goes away when you realize what and who you are. Shamen's are naturally empathic and are born with the tools to cope with all aspects. With time and training nothing sucks. The compassion you have for the universe teaches you the source of each aspect you come across. You know why others act and react, the way they do. The closer your focus gets to the moment, you tend to see that the thoughts and ways of the world are not what is important. The world will always have its own tendencies and objectives. The key is focus on what is brought to you at a given time, and immediate location. We do not focus on the world, nor try to change the world.

The greatest gift is your own strength of OPTIMISM. This is what reflects to those around you. This is the shadow that others see and feel near you. You give off a light and impression that over powers any good or bad thoughts. It all starts from your own source.

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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

Post by Phil »

Heh, funny this thread resurrected while I was at the end of my second ceremony. There are no accidents.

I am in absolute of awe my shamans, they are absolutely incredible humans.

The medicine is so powerful, a connection to the loving spirit of the plants, of life itself...all humanity, the service they provide sharing it while loving the participants in such a way as to be able to guide, lead, AND simulatnaeously provide the most indescribably beautiful healing music is incredible. I am blessed to have been invited in to their circle, their tribe.

It takes true bringers of light, in service to all of life, to be able to guide the ceremony participants (my brothers and sisters, as they say) to be able to face our darkness and bring more light to the world, even as we (and the medicine) bring them healing and clearing and lessons and insights to them...they are human after all.

I will try to share more of my experience once I am able to process a bit of it.
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

Post by Christine »

Learning to navigate the full Cosmic Tree of Life is the shaman's journey ... let's not forget there are those out there who operate in the deep shadow world of manipulation for self-egoic serving needs. I no longer have an internal argument with this aspect or those that have chosen that place to dwell for they have actually been some of my greatest teachers. ;) That is stated be-cause I have chosen to embrace my own responsibility of soul sovereign choice and retracted my consent from any perceived or induced belief in outside authority.

The medicine wheel keeps on turning ... Spirit the greatest medicine of All.
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The journey, the challenge is to step into the
projection room and stop being lost in the script.

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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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My favorite part of the ceremonies is the circles, sharing what we learned from our experience with the medicine. In the first one, before the second night...I mentioned how much my experiences have been about trust.

The first ceremony was about building trust, it was learning what the situation actually was...not knowing whether I'd even be able to handle it. I admitted in that morning after of my first night in my second ceremony how I didn't trust momma (techincally grandmother, I been misidentifying her) and so by extension I couldn't fully trust E, as she was the "representative".

When you first show up at some point you meet up with one or the other to share your intentions. I had full faith in H and figured it would be with him, however I wanted to connect better with E and so jumped at being able to get in front of her...as I figured if it happened naturally I'd have been with H again.

I realized I couldn't look in her the eyes. I felt I needed forgiveness for NOT trusting her initially. By the end of my first I had complete faith in both (E and grandmother ayahuasca), but I felt guilt for having those feelings about them. I was so humbled in how lovingly her being showed me that as far as she was concerned there was nothing to forgive.

A lot of my journey was about my trust issues with the feminine. My severe fear of rejection, particularly from females due to my countless life lessons was one of the bigger issues the medicine and the ceremony helped me face. I connected with a lot of the women in my life I had resentments toward, being able to forgive--them AND myself--was a huge relief.

The way E serves as a conduit for the medicine and the spirt of the plants....while providing sound healing through the most amazing songs you can imagine with a voice that has called me back, that I'm not ashamed to say I'm happily addicted to...is, well, like I have already said: awe inspiring.

Watching the love between her and H, who to me was an absolute rock for me from the second I met him brings tears just thinking about it. I wonder about the "dark" shaman, who operate without this incredible love. I don't know how much of an outlier these guys are, but they made it hard for me to imagine why anyone would use such power in a negative way
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Re: Shadow of the Shaman

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The medicine is so intelligent. All i could think about at some points is how elegant and perfect real medicine is.

We've been twisted into believing that any band-aid that feels good or removes discomfort can be called medicine. Nothing brought to us by big pharma qualifies.

I couldn't figure out why the spirit would need us to drink so much, why it was necessary to have so much material/physical processes to go through in order to connect on the level the medicine lets you. And now I think it is consent. Each dose you swallow (and keep down) is consent, an agreement. It's beautiful how the material is woven into the spiritual experience

She tells her servants, my shamans, how much anyone who comes up needs. They can hear your call for help without you even voicing it. They have a direct line to the spirit, who in turn is connected to all the participants. The things they can do with their vocal chords...the language they seem to channel direct from the earth...the source of life, I can't imagine having such a relationship.

And best of all, most important to them is building community. They make it crystal clear without directly saying it, that we are part of their tribe...and they are not the rulers of it, just some teachers. They are our friends, there are no pretenses. And they love to share the lessons they continue learn and healing they continue to get as much as we do.
What is the purpose of your presence?

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